Have you Overcome Guilt & Fear Since Exiting Jehovah's Witnesses ? (page 6)

Goshawk

Angel Eyes if you are still in then this is more of a non-sequitur in your case.

In bOrg speak they are either 'in' or they are 'out'.

No offense intended.

bluecanary

Welcome to the forum Charles

Once I accepted that the WTS was not God's appointed org on earth the guilt evaporated

I want to echo Lady Lee's sentiment and I want to add something else that comforts me. I no longer believe in God. My criteria for belief has been raised and if he's there he's going to have to work harder to let me know it. But if there is any kind of benevolent God out there, I feel 100% secure in the fact that I have proven my love for him. The stuff the WTS told us turned out to be worthless but I believed it and I LIVED it because I loved God. If he's there, he knows my motivations. I've passed that test.

EDIT: Totally meaningless, but just as I posted this the song "Modern Guilt" came on Pandora. Coincidences are fun.

flipper

ANGEL EYES- You are a great person and I'm sure God accepts you just as you are ! God wants us to value ourselves - not feel we are imperfect sinners who should be sulking in lack of self esteem and guilt. I'm sure you are doing fine my friend. Just keep learning in life- no matter what. Keep listening to things on this board and you will get a variety of learning experiences.

GOSHAWK- Very true in the borgs eyes a person is either " in " or " out " . However these days it seems lots of Jehovah's Winesses are sitting on the fence doubting the WT society and are contemplating their next move or decision in life as to which way they are going to go. I find this very interesting and exciting all at the same time !

BLUECANARY- I too don't really believe in a God as such, consider myself agnostic /atheist leaning but I don't really worry about it. Like yourself I know I've tried to be a good person and if there is a God- I feel He knows this. Not gonna worry. I feel you are a great person also- I've seen the good posts and threads you've brought to this board ! You have a lot to be proud of sis ! Keep the good work up ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

bluecanary

Thanks Flipper, I feel the same about you.

flipper

BLUECANARY- Thanks, I appreciate it. Feeling is mutual. Peace out, Mr. Flipper

flipper

Thought I'd bump this up for the newbs and others who might not have seen it. Thanks, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

the real life

As a young child, I remember having extreme guilt for what, in looking back, was normal kid behavior (i.e, crushes, holding hands, using the occasional swear word, etc.) There were times during my adolescence when I just didn't feel sincere about many aspects of the organization. For this, I often felt that I was a bad person, that I didn't have a good heart, etc. Later, as an extremely young wife longing for worldly experiences (worldly in the usual sense - travel, romance, cultural experiences and socio-political involvement - not the JW sense) I cheated on my husband. After I had ended the relationship, confessed to my husband, and started working through all manner of personal issues, I had a very difficult time understanding why I had made that bad decision. In some ways I feel like something subconscious was pushing me out of my situation. Somewhere deep down I must have known that I wasn't where I belonged. As I've grown, post-JW, I feel that I've become a more thoughtful person. I find that being raised in an organized religion like the JWs trains a person to turn off his or her powers of perception. Within the organization, while I certainly thought I was making conscious choices, I think my decisions were mainly based on the opinion of others and the handy list of dos and don'ts. Even good things I did as a witness were often with the aim of pleasing someone and not often out of a sincere desire. I very rarely feel guilt as an ex-witness because I find that I make much more thoughtful decisions. My decisions are no longer about conforming to or breaking a rule, pleasing or displeasing a group or an individual. Every new circumstance warrants its own consideration and everything I do, good or bad, I try to do with sincerity. That's not to say that I never do things I regret, but when I do, I feel like I fully understand and take responsibility for that choice. I think guilt comes from feeling like you didn't have presence of mind when you made a decision. It comes from a lack of understanding of your own choices. Fortunately I don't experience that kind of frustration anymore.

flipper

THE REAL LIFE- Welcome to the board ! Very well put by you ! Nice to have you here ! I agree that after leaving the witnesses we feel much less guilt about decisions we make. As you said the decisions are OURS not some organization TELLING us what or how we should feel. I too have enjoyed being free to make good decisions and be proud of the decisions I make . Isn't it amazing how we can still be good people outside the Jehovah's Witness cult ? LOL ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

zarco

trl-

Even good things I did as a witness were often with the aim of pleasing someone and not often out of a sincere desire. I very rarely feel guilt as an ex-witness because I find that I make much more thoughtful decisions

Well said and welcome!

zarco

flipper

ZARCO- Good point you emphasized. As witnesses we were all made to feel we had to please someone above us, usually the elders, even though we really didn't agree with what we were doing or didn't want to do it. Fortunately for me- those days are over

Have you Overcome Guilt & Fear Since Exiting Jehovah's Witnesses ?

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