Hey Clarinetist, my life story is on page one of my posted topics. It's long, and a bit angry.. I should probably rewrite it, but I will need a 2 week vacation to do that....
Everything About Being An Elder is Weird (my misc rambling memories of being an elder)
by AllTimeJeff 51 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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life is to short
Thanks Jeff from an elders wife's point of view everything you have said is right on.
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AllTimeJeff
You need to put all of your experiences in book form and let us know where to purchase it.
Maybe, how much people want to read about me and my JW life remains to be seen... lol
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GromitSK
ATJ - I think your story was very interesting and that it is important that people have access to it. I don't think anyone who has been a JW can't recall when looking back a number of incidents which are buttock-clenchingly embarrassing either because they fell for the shinola in the first place or for their sheer crassness. If the Holy Spirit (assuming it exists at all) has any role to play in discipline in the congregation one would expect it to have made its presence felt a little more strongly especially when expelling people from the cong. It doesn't of course because the BoE have about as much exposure to it as a Ladies Sewing Circle or Hells Angel Reunion, probably less in fact.
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OnTheWayOut
I climbed the ladder fast from baptism to elder, just about 6 years. I wasn't about sucking up to the C.O. or anything like that, but I thought it was the truth and I tried my hardest to live the life. Once I got to elder, that 1995 change in the generation took place. I was shocked that it was so little of a deal to the other elders. I changed from that point. I planned to get a better job and retire in "this system of things." I gave normal counsel about being good to yourself and not being so uptight about pioneer hours or the like. I tried to help people avoid judicial committees by giving them the chance to tell us what we wanted to hear. "You at least won't talk to your DF son about spiritual matters, will you?" That kind of stuff usually worked. I told people not to tell the elders everything they did or thought- if you go to a family reunion as a pioneer, don't talk about it, don't mention the church wedding of your sister, paintball isn't in the Bible, so don't stumble others by bragging about it.
Only a few got DF'ed while I was on the committee.
I loved being the School overseer if I had to have a job. I mean, we were supposed to read all that crap anyway, so I did and was ready to talk about it. You post a schedule and people show up or they don't. If they don't, ask for a volunteer or talk about the subject yourself. It was pretty easy.
I actually never had to deal with pedophiles, but I knew of one guy in my last congo. that had some trouble before I got there. He had no more trouble since he got married and he used to like the very mature teen girls, the kind that could kick his ass by throwing their weight around. So, I wasn't too worried about it. I hadn't known how big a problem it was until I got out, but I remember tons of letters from Bethel about such stuff.
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bluecanary
I would read your book, Jeff. It means a lot to read posts like these. Many of us have had really lousy experiences with elders like you. When someone hurts me, what I want most (more than hurting them in return) is just for them to get it. To understand what they did was wrong and to be sorry about it. It's cathartic for us to read posts like this.
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inbetween
interesting read, I observe some elders, being appointed young, acting as real jerks, maybe they will go through similar experience later ? there is always hope ;-)
My story would be different, I did not really want to be an elder, but when they asked, i agreed (partly flattered, partly felt the responsibility)
I was on a few JC, only dfd some, where there was no other chance, in all other cases, mercy whenever possible..
but those few cases really bothered me, to be somebody deciding over life and death (even in a spiritual sense) is something, that I felt is over my head ( well now I know, its over the head of any human). I felt guilty back then and feel more so even now...
My take was and somehow still is to serve the brothers, to help them through difficult times , to soften the strict rules of the WTS, in an attempt to silence my conscience....time will show how long that may work before i have to make an ultimate decison....
However, its also good to share with others and to read simlar experiences, since there is usually nobody to talk about this things...
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KAYTEE
Jeff,
I have come across many elders like that, I didn’t take them very easily, I know doubt would have reacted to some of your previous actions, But I respect you TREMENDOUSLY for the way you have seen the real light. And prepared to say the things you have said.
If so many more had done the same, how different things could have been (he who want to be first will be last). But I found their ambitions got in the way of Christianity, many I came across never had a responsible job in their life, never been in charge of people, did not know how to handle situations.
Jeff I shall look at your picture on your threads with a lot more respect.
KT
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Chalam
Hello Jeff,
Matthew 7:20 (New International Version)
20 Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.
Matthew 12:34 (New International Version)
For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.
It always fascinates me to read some of the WT stuff (only in small doses though-that is bad medicine)
1A: Imitate Jehovah, the Shepherd and Overseer of Our Souls1B: Loving Overseeers Working within the Congregation
2A: How Overseers Teach
2B Teaching at Cong Meetings
3A: Be Whole Souled in the Evangilizing Work
3B: Help Your Brothers to Reach All By Evangilizing
4A: How the Elders Work Together as a Body
4B: Our Loving Heavenly Overseer Provides Counsel and Discipline for All
5A: Overseers Ruling for Justice Itself
5B: Sharing on a Judicial Committee
5C: Handling Cases of Wrongdoiing with Wisdom and Mercy
6A: Jehovah's People Theocratically Organized for His Name6B: Under the Law of Christ (had to fit Jesus in their sometime)They put "Jehovah" at the top and Jesus at the bottom. They will argue this is theologically correct but I say it is plain wrong. You need Jesus first.
John 14:6 (New International Version)
6 Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
The tales of the "elders" always amazes me. Actually, the book probably clouded any wisdom that they had in the first place. I remarked that my JW friend's daughters had more wisdom that the elders that were dealing with his divorce.
So much legalism, rules and regulations. Where is the wisdom that is the mind of Christ that the believer has? 1 Corinthians 2:16 The Holy Spirit who will teach us all things? John 14:26
Clearly, He is totally absent :(
So I want to say this Jeff! You are on a journey. The Lord brought you out of slavery. He was there in Cameroon. He was there at 9/11 for many of us. You have left Egypt where you were enslaved but you are now in the desert. My advise is not to wander round for 40 years. I did it for 20, it is quite tiring. The Lord's will is for you to go straight to the promised land and the journey is only about 11 days. However, the call is yours.
BTW, did you ever read Pilgrim's Progress? My guess is not as you were a JW? I read a young reader edition when I was a child but when I think of it, my soul is still stirred :) I think you will like the symbolism that runs through the book.
It is regarded as one of the most significant works of English literature, has been translated into more than 200 languages, and has never been out of print. [1]
All the best,
Stephen
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dozy
Thanks Jeff. I was also appointed as an elder at a young age. Prior to appointment , I always (somewhat optimistically) assumed that elders meetings were a gathering of sincere men who prayed & dwelt on the scriptures , so it was a huge eye opener to see the petty politics and that the bible was hardly ever used (except quoting from the societies letters & publications.) I got fed up of the walk-outs and arguments.
TMS overseer was my favourite position as it meant I could really help the brothers & sisters , some of whom really struggled with their assignments. I hated being service overseer as I was expected to "set a lead" - I think in most congregations it is the assignment that most elders try to avoid. That is why it is often given to the "new boy" , who is usually appointed because his ministry is good (unlike existing elders who can often get away with doing very little if any ministry , as they can always claim they are busy shepherding).
Generally speaking , appointing elders under 30 years of age is a bad idea. I have seen so many young appointees become self-righteous and proud.