Where does NEW LIGHT come from?

by sacolton 26 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • dinah
    dinah

    New Light comes directly from Theodore's ass. Since his stroke, expect it to get more erratic.

  • shamus100
    shamus100

    It came out of hot saunas from some old senile closet-case who told young men how to piss without 'touching it'. Jehovah works in very very very mysterious ways, don'tcha know?

  • dinah
    dinah

    Hphfttttt! I can piss without touching "it".

    Crap, nevermind, I'm a girl. Maybe he should have taught the GB to squat instead of just bending over.

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    It comes from the gb's ass.

    S

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    My new light comes when I run a new string of Christmas lights. It sure is more enlightening than anything I ever heard from the Washtowel.

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    Well, you see.... inside of me is an incredibly bright light... brighter than even the sun!

    As it turns out my ass works a lot like a flashlight. I can pull on my butt cheeks and if I pull hard enough I can illuminate an entire auditorium of JWs!

  • betterdaze
    betterdaze

    Watchtower Bible and Tract Society = Snare + Racket

    WT Legal Dept + WT Accounting Dept = New Light

    ~Sue

  • watson
    watson

    I think "betterdaze" may be on to something.

  • The Almighty Homer
    The Almighty Homer

    Jehovah's marketing executives

  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother

    Hmmm......It seems that we are failing to see the subtle difference between Spirit Inspiration which they do not claim, and Spirit Direction which they do claim..

    In normal English, to be inspired by someone suggests that you are motivated by their example, given a good idea by them, moved to emulate them. In the J W dictionary they mean to be directed to write word for word by God ...But the do claim Spirit direction, which implies a tighter direction than "Inspiration" but they do not mean it like that

    Clear as mud isn't it?

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