by AK - Jeff 88 Replies latest jw experiences
Thanx Dinah. Good advice regarding breaking the news.
Yes, I think the last number I heard about was that about 8 million kids are being raised by grandparents in the US - and that was a few years back. With all the prisons filling up faster than they can build them, I wonder if the number isn't much larger. God I hate that we ever heard the word 'Meth' - what a waste of young people that is.
Jeff
Meth scares the crap outta me. I know very few people who have gotten clean and stayed clean. Most of the time they are in and out of jail, can't hold a job. It makes mild mannered people violent. Bad stuff. Prisons are full of meth addicts. Many of them turn to making the stuff to support their habit. Manufacturing carries some long prison sentences, not to mention you can blow folks up in the process.
AK - Jeff, I agree with SixofNine. What I've learned in life is that you cannot help someone who does not want help. This is your daughter. She sounds somewhat like my older brother.
I commend you and your wife for stepping in to take care of your grandchildren. They aren't stupid. They know. Your daughter is their biological mother but you and your wife are their parents. Some kids don't have this. So they are quite lucky.
I sure hope your daughter can figure things out. As I told my Mom when she was heartbroken about my brother:
"These are his choices in life, not yours. You cannot beat yourself up over someone else's decisions. Focus on the good you have."
Unfortunately, thanks to the JWs, she considered herself a failure regarding him. I hope you and your wife do not feel this way.
AK-Jeff, you did such a noble and kind act by adopting your daughter and trying to give her a better life. You and your wife love her and have done what parents across the world do--the best you can.
I admire all you have done for your daughter and especially for your grand-children. They are so lucky to have you. I am really sorry the JWs treated you so poorly. I live in an area where biracial couples are common, so I haven't seen that type of prejudice. I am sure it goes on. Which is worse coming from them-God's channel.
You must be a strong person to cope with all this....makes my problems seem rather small.
ATJ,
My heart goes out to you my brother, you tried as much as any parent can try, in the end it is up to the child to walk their own path.
As parents we can only guide and suggest and be there to pick up the pieces, just like our heavenly Father.
Ruling with an "iron rod" doesn't work so al we have left is love and compassion and by the sounds of it, you have that in abundance.
God's grace flowed through you as much as it could, in the end its up to your daughter to receive it.
Dearest Jeff......I just read this through my Facebook account and I am tied up today with dr's appts, the home nurse coming by and the PT gal as well later this afternoon (for my hubby).....so I won't have the time to reply in the way that I want to until my day calms down somewhat. I will write when I can. My heart goes out to you both in so many ways. Be assured of my love and my utmost empathy for all that you have gone through.
hugs,
Annie
And yes BlackSheep, probably our rearing of a person within Jw's who was so mentally [or by dna] inclined added massive fuel to the fire so to speak.
I have to agree with the above statement. To be fair, I imagine that a foster care program for her would have resulted in the same thing or worse.
It's not that you are turning your back on her now, but you can only do so much. It is possible that she will be grateful (one day) that you raised the kids that she turned her back on. If she's ever able to put that together, she will recognize that you meant well and she did not mean well. If not, at least you raised her kids and did the right thing.
Power and strength to you in this.
Hello Jeff,
Thanks for your heartfelt words.
I cannot imagine the extent of what you feel but as I father myself I feel some of your pain.
You have torn between showing her love and letting her walk all over you and your household.
Forgive me in advance, I know you have been through the WT mill. I can only see Jesus as the solution
10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
Praying abundant life for your daughter and you all.
Stephen
Ah, Jeff, my heart goes out to you.
I'm faced with a similar situation with 2 of my 6 g'kids.
They were born rebels. NOTHING seems to get through to them.
If they're called to account for misdeeds, it's always someone else's fault.
I've begun to distance myself and prepare my heart for whatever ...
Please know and understand that there are many who are grappling with the same issues.
Peace to you and your household.
Sylvia
