Awsnap....about the xmas tree thing.... when my sister said what she said, it made me feel a little guilty actually, because days before, I'd stopped to look at xmas trees at the store. Something I'd never ever done before. So when she said she'd wondered if I'd hidden one somewhere, and she had NO Idea I'd been looking at one...it made me feel rather guilty. So me thinking it was funny she mentioned it, I had to chuckle (on the inside) because unbeknown to her, I'd been contemplating getting one. The 'lol' was more of a sheepish chuckle for myself :) When I wrote the post, I almost added to the 'no I dont have one' a 'yet'...hehe. Jury is still out on that one, whether I get one or not. Will have to wait and see what the next 2mths bring regards dealings with my family. But no, I dont think xmas is ridiculous. I understand how most of society has moved away from the 'traditional' meaning of its celebration. Thanks for your kind words :)
I appreciate everyone's kind words and encouragement as I venture into this completely unknown realm! I have a mixture of feelings: apprehension, excitement, fear...
The biggest thing for me now is whether I start celebrating things with my preschoolers. One has a birthday coming up ~gulp~ obviously something I've never had to worry about before. The there is xmas. If I celebrate these, then I am truly turning my back on the organisation, and perhaps even Jehovah. That to me will be the final straw, the nail in the coffin so to speak. I can't start doing these things, then a year down the track decide that 'hey kids, no more birthdays, mummy is going back to be a Jw'. That wouldn't be fair on them. So whatever decision I make, I have to think about it really carefully.
I have a tendency to jump from the frying pan into the fire, impulse decisions. Interestingly, mum rang me tonight and asked how I was after todays talk with her and dad, if I was feeling better about things. I think they believe they have shaken me enough to knock some sense into me so to speak. I simply answered 'Im fine'. I dont want to give them false hope either. But I do have to say, Im feeling better than I did decision wise, because I feel its out in the open a little. And the more I move away from the religion, they wont be as shocked because they already know how Im doubting. It wont be any less heartbreaking for them, but they know to expect it.