Baby??? honeymoon??? a certain time to have them??

by angel eyes 90 Replies latest jw experiences

  • yknot
    yknot

    ..... IMHO.....

    1. You were a victim of gossip

    2. Your area has a gossip problem of this sorts

    3. Elder was mis-stepping his position and sharing his personal opinion without regarding it might be taken as a directive.

    4. The WTS has long encouraged couples to not have children in this system of things (oddly enough I think that first suggestion was found in a book entitled "Children")

    5. Bit concerned that this Elder would be so 'familiar' with you regarding those sorts of relations, you not being married yet and all at the time. Is your husband also in the truth?.....just seems the sort of conversation a man would have with another man since many witness women don't go onto the pill until after they are married because many see it as 'stumbling', so the withdrawl method or condom is often employed those first few days before the pill kicks in......

    5...... honestly it is good advice, I mean I know some still have romantic notions about that but relationships are already new at the beginning of a marriage and waiting until the marriage is firmly established before starting a family is alway good footing.

  • angel eyes
    angel eyes

    Thanks Saoirse, i totally agree...its our business not anyone else's.

    mouthy, I wasnt talking about sex to him, we were chatting about my wedding and honeymoon and he just came out with that, i was completely stunned Then again he also thought he ruled our marriage....he said we couldnt go away for a weekend, i said "but we're married" he said we werent too go and really had ago at me, what he said could have got him removed, but at the time i was a door mat let everyone walk all over me.

  • Butterflyleia85
    Butterflyleia85

    Awww... geez sound like an old grumpy elder with control issues. lol jk anyways yeah he needs to lighten up. Your husband should be like "Brother so an so we are adults now, please respect our privacy."

  • yknot
    yknot

    HUGS

    I am sorry.

    I hope he isn't serving in any position still.

    I hate , yes hate those type of Elders.

  • angel eyes
    angel eyes

    thanks guys...but yh he still an elder.....lots of that type around, ive meet too many of them, i have a very firm chin though lol

    We werent allowed to stay in bed weekends, he would ring EVERY sat 8am to say he was expecting us on the ministry.....for 6 months after our wedding he did this...i couldnt understand why, i was a pioneer and i use to have 1 sat off to go shopping etc but after marriage that wasnt allowed, I think now i look back it was to make sure we werent making babies..lol

  • Diva
    Diva

    That elder should mind his own damn business!! Oooh that would make me so mad - I would get pregnant just to see his stupid face when I told him!

    In hindsight I wish we had concieved on our honeymoon, rather than waiting until my mid 30's. We have a beautiful daughter now but I have fertility issues, plus multiple miscarriages before we got her and even now.

    Just do it when you're both good and ready...but don't leave it too late. xx

  • snowbird
    snowbird

    Angel Eyes, I'm with Mouthy and OTWO.

    That "elder" was/is up to no good!

    I'm glad you've stood up for yourself.

    When I think back, the lady who "studied" with me used to ask me inappropriate questions.

    I should have kicked her to the curb (kerb).

    Sylvia

  • angel eyes
    angel eyes

    thanks Diva..sorry to hear of your miscarriages, we too lost our little boy, I was pregnant and had to give birth to him as he had died inside.

    We did go onto have children too though.

  • angel eyes
    angel eyes

    go there snowbird.....i agree...how dare people get involved in someone elses relationship. But i guess maybe like some of you mayhave been, i was a door mat, too mild...im still not nasty, i dont ever want to hurt someone but i do explain that my husband is MY head and aslong as we arent doing anything unscriptual then thats all that matters.

  • Diva
    Diva

    Sorry to hear that angel eyes, I went through something similar (my first pregnancy) - life sucks sometimes doesn't it?

    Thankfully we've both been able to move on. xxx

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