Explaining what DF'd means to a non-witness

babygirl30

I actually had to do this TWICE in the past 2 weeks - and it's really shaken things up! The first time was last week. My aunt (who lives out of state) asked me HOW my parents were doing (her brother and my mom)? I told her that I didn't know HOW they were...and then I broke it down about me being DF'd and my family having nothing to do with me because of that. My explaination was hateful, wasn't mean, wasn't out of spite - I just told her the facts of why I was DF'd (as the elders told me), why my parents won't talk to me, and why I have chosen NOT to go back to the org. She was FLOORED and very upset!! She called my dad (her brother) and scolded him for chosing his 'religion over his own blood' and how NO God they ever were taught to love would agree with this type of treatment of ones own child. She reported back to me that my dad was being stubborn and would not back down...and she ended the conversation by saying how disappointed she IS in him for being this way.

The other example was yesterday. one of my friends came to visit me from out of town, and we were talking about our families...and the same topic came up. I explained my situation with my family and all - dude was MAD. He kept saying that he always thought JW's were 'crazy' and that this situation proves it. No exaggeration - literally 5hrs after I told him the initial story about my being DF'd and my family shunning me, he commented AGAIN (out the blue) about how he can't get over the way JW's act and treat each other YET they go knocking on peoples doors trying to get new people to join!

I think it's so ironic how CLEARLY others see the workings of JW's on the outside, but when I was IN IT, I couldn't see it...I thought everyone ELSE was crazy for thinking JW's were nuts. I would defend the org - not knowing any better. Anyone else gotten 'reactions' out of non Witnesses when you explain WHY ur not a JW anymore or WHY your family/friends don't have dealings with you anymore???

Girlie

I recently had an objective discussion on the practice of shunning with a non-jw friend of mine. She found the practice very absurd as does many on the outside of this religion. On the flip side, I had a conversation with a non-jw person who agreed with the practice of DF and shunning and wished his church (Seven Day Adventist) would adopt the practice. I just took his answer as being ignorant of the real danger such a practice poses.

Don't be too hard on yourself for not having seen it. The many years indoctrinated into this cult does that to a person.

QuestioningEverything

Yes, I did recently. I was talking to a friend about the JW's. She has been with me on my journey to enlightenment . I have shared with her all I have learned. She asked why I didn't just tell my mom how I felt about the witnesses now. Then I told her about Apostacy and how my family and 'friends' would have to shun me because of my newfound discoveries. She was absolutely disgusted. She kept saying, "That's a cult, QE, that's a cult." And I see now that it is a cult.

undercover

I remember trying to explain DFing and shunning to a non-JW friend. I was bouncing stuff off of him as I was making my exit. He was a great sounding board and he gave me a perspective of an outsider who didn't know much about JWs.

But it was interesting how quick he saw through shit. What took me forever to figure out, I'd give him the scenerio and he'd cut right through it. He had no indoctrination or attachment so he was able to use common sense and logic that was missing in my thinking.

As I explained the DFing procedure and how the shunning worked, he just looked at me and said, "Dude...that's a cult. No offense, but that ain't how a normal religion works." He was right. I agreed, but he took seconds what took me years to see.

Jankyn

What has been really helpful for me has been learning, over time, that the outraged reaction of non-JWs to the practice of df'ing is, in fact, a normal, healthy response.

It's such a relief to learn that it's the JWs who are crazy/sick, and not everybody else.

babygirl75

The JW's blame us and state we have put ourselves in this situation. It's all about Control with them.

Everyone else sees the idiodicy and cold heartedness in the shunning policy.

*By the way....LOVE the name ;) lol

White Dove

It isn't about appearances because if it was, they would stop the bans on holidays, df'ing, dress, and so forth. I think now it's simply a matter of total control. The blood policy makes them look like asses, too. It can't be all about appearances but of control of the sheeple.

carla

People are always shocked and appalled when you describe shunning and the various reasons one may be df'd. I have seen anger, shaking of heads in disbelief and near tears when relating a shunning story from here. Unfortunately it is a good anti witness, sadly all of you pay the price for it though. If any good can come of the shunning know that everytime your story is retold at least one person vows to never get involved with the jw's and that one person will, in all likelyhood, tell another person and so on.....

Scott77

	I think it's so ironic how CLEARLY others see the workings of JW's on the outside, but when I was IN IT, I couldn't see it...I thought everyone ELSE was crazy for thinking JW's were nuts. I would defend the org - not knowing any better
	babygirl30

I have been a JW for 16 years, but at no time did I ever knew any bad thing about it from within. However, my non JW friends were not happy with JW religion for attacking their religion. As would be expected, I defended the JW religion to the letter. It was only until 2006 that I started seeing things differently, cooling off of love within the congregation, back bitting, illegal court unapproved surveilance and stalking, unjustified marking in which jw friends were warned to avoid me and much later, a hoist of false teachings like 1914, moved me to take action. So it took me roughly 3 years to learn so much how evil the WTS religion cult was. It all happened after I come out. It was a kind of an eye opener.

Sapphy

When you try and explain df'ing it seems like most people liken it to excommunication, so they think the consequences are things like not being able to get married in a church, or not being allowed to go into the church.

When you actually explain about the shunning part, parents / children cutting each other off the shock and disbelief is palpable!

Explaining what DF'd means to a non-witness

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