As a JW Were You or Someone you Knew Falsely Accused by Elders ?

by flipper 43 Replies latest jw friends

yellow

I was befriended by an elderly bro after my mother had died (never showed any interest in me before this) We would go for coffees and meals and he was good company in a difficult time. After a few weeks he would start talking about sis in the cong and their sex lives. Being the good JW sis I told him not to talk of things like that. A few weeks later we went for a drink he said he had a problem controlling his sex urges could I help him, I gave him a few suggestions take a cold shower etc. Then he starts asking if I have a problem like that, I said it was personal, then he tries another tactic enquiring about my sex life with my ex husband. I told him to stop its none of his buisness. Thinking he's just an old perv I avoided him.
An elder contacted me some sister had told him, I wondered what the fuss was about. But looking back on conversations we had it dawned on me that this bro had displayed all the traits of a man who was grooming me. I also found out that he had done this before with 2 other sis who had a history of mental illness. I went back to the elder and reported what I thought and an investigation was started. I was told by this elder that this man was dangerous and to avoid him. Nobody ever told me about him including the other sisters involved. They met with him he was told all privilages were removed and he wasn't alllowed to work with sis in f/s.
At any social we were at this old bro would stare at me, and stalk me, even at the hall. At the same time I was also getting nuisance calls. To top it off he was handling mikes and doing talks at the TMS. I questioned one of the elders about this to which I was told "it doesn't concern you" I spoke about his behaviour towards me and he advised I trace the calls through my phone provider. I got no feedback from them. So I went to the police, by this time I had gathered enough evidence from the other sis about his stalking behaviour.
The police were very alarmed about this man and with the evidence of two others, they had enough to warn and prosecute him. I went back to the elders well they were very angry at what I did, I had brought Jehovah's name into disrepute bla bla bla. So being intimidated by the elders I stopped the police investigation from going ahead.
That was the begining of the end for me, I could not understand the logic of the elders. This man had had been d/f 3 times for adultery had a history of this type of behaviour and he is still being used in the cong. The advice given to me by the elders was we have to look after his spirituality. To add insult to injury I was d/f a few years prior for smoking. Sorry for rambling this has bugged me for a long time.
SouthCentral

When I was dating my wife, we were kissing in my new car at an LA area pier. I saw that some gang members had boxed me in and were starting to approach. I carried a gun with me at all times. This was actually non very uncommon for J-Dubs in gang infested areas. I held up my gun, without the young lady seeing it. They moved their cars to allow me to leave. During this time, car jacking and murders were common in my area. I was acting weird, as my fiance said, so I told her, that my conscience ws bothering me, so I wanted to abruptly leave. She was disturbed as a result of my statement. She told her elders. One that I was on several assembly programs with. He actually hated me because I was dating my wife. He said that I ws not good enough for her. Despite being a servant and a pioneer.
My elders called me in for a meeting. This elder said that I tried to RAPE my wife but she managed to get away. The story had so many details that I was wondering, "Did I do that?".
I had my future wife and mother come to my elders and deny the lies of the PO of another hall. Yes, there were more details that are many and bothersome, but I did not pursue the false claims.
I just eventually moved away.
flipper

Thanks for all the replies ! Sorry it took a couple days to get back to you guys and gals after my mountain trip- but I've been working like a demon at my jobs ever since getting back ! Finally have some time to respond !
OUTLAW- Funny stuff ! The elders laughed at you ? I bet you laughed back ! LOL!
BLUE CANARY- Yeah- I thought it was weird when my ex-wife of 8 years was stalking me. She had even re-married a JW man ! Wonder what her husband thought of her doing that ? Sounds about right that Bethel would tell you to " do what the elders tell you " . If the elders tell us to jump off cliffs and bridges - are we gonna do it ? Ridiculous.
SHAMUS 100- It usually does start from the top down when people are falsely accused . Then the other elders just fall into line with 1 dominant elder in the congregation.
BIG TEX- I too saw a lot of very grievous offenses covered up also . Especially if smeone had position in the organization. It was disgusting.
TROUBLED MIND- Sorry your son was treated so badly. It seems like the elders are always doing the accusing by the " guilty by association " type of reasoning.
DISSED- Yeah, my experience was tough - but it sounds like you had 3 elders that had vendettas against you and your wife also ! Isn't it amazing how conniving and vindictive some elders can be - even to the point in your case where 3 elders were manipulating other elders to turn against you ? So much crap goes on - you couldn't even bury it in congregations.
RMAYER32- I'm glad you got your freedom and told them what " they could do with their pettiness. " Glad you've had a good 2 decades since !
Y KNOT- I hear what you are saying. I never received any apologies either when the appeal committee overturned my DFing 2 years ago. Elders NEVER apologize. They just tell you to stay humble like they told you to do. And yes- they do act like modern day Nazi's !
ASILENTONE- That is weird - asking if you'd been to a strip club ! The elder was probably there himself - so wanted to know if you or anybody else saw HIM at the strip club ! LOL!
MRS. JONES- Sounds like your cousin had a crazy ministerial servant stalking her ! He probably got away with all of this BECAUSE he was an M.S. It's amazing how people in authority behave and abuse their positions often.
BUTTERFLYLEIA- What that girl went through by that elder was horrendous ! Unfortunately - It is all too common a story we see repeated constantly in the JW organization. And the parties involved usually try to hide it. Even those not involved hide it. I'm glad you are out of the JW cult too Butterfly. Yes - I did go through a lot - but it made me stronger and more of a genuine, authentic human being. One thing to remember also is that elders have that power you spoke of only because the WT society and GB gives it to them. Just men gicing men power. No holy spirit involved.
WHA HAPPENED- I agree. This organization is based on ratting each other out - in the name of " keeping the conregation clean ".
EMPTY INSIDE- What a tragedy ! This girl was abused by a close relative and then SHE gets accused of smoking ? A person just can't win with these elders, can they ?
AK JEFF- You too, huh ? That makes 2 of us who were accused of " circumstancial fornication ". It's weird how the elders are so pervie that they think all guys just want to have sex with sistes randomly in the kingdom hall - even though they are just friends ! Elders need to get their minds out of the gutter I say .
WANTSTOLEAVE- Many of us have been through a lot of tough times for sure.
ANGEL EYES- Well- Yes, we could have written to Bethel - but it usually does no good because Bethel will side with the elders 99 % of the time. Bethel will occasionally look into allegations of injustices by elders - but they usually ALWAYS give them the benefit of the doubt over rank and file publishers. So yes - it results in elders serving for YEARS continually committing injustices with no letup or check systems in place to stop them. Problem is - the WT society is just as corrupt at the top - so they don't CARE about checking on elders. So the result ? More people get mistreated as the years go on and on. Really sad.
BLONDIE- Sorry you were treated badly by the elders. Sounds like you gave it a good chance - but in time you had itproved to you like all of us that the injustices start at the top of the organization - not just the elders.
COFFEE BLACK- Very true sis. There are thousands of these stories all over the place that could be told of people being treated unjustly and falsely. I could write a book myself.
BABYGIRL 30- There is nothing worse than having a " hoochie mama " accuse you of being one yourself ! Jesus. Sounds like you had a very manipulative JW neighbor. What a waste of time on the elders part to try figuring out " who is listening to who having sex ? " It probably turned the elders on picturing you or the other sister having sex at all. Elders are twisted pervs.
SNOWBIRD- An elder accused your mom of inflating her hours and literature placements ? Man- they stop at nothing do they ? I think lots of times the elders just want to pick on people for no reason at all.
DEEP BLUE SEA- Wow. What experiences you shared ! It is awful how arrogant the elders are tampering with innocent people's lives. Sorry you had it happen to you - but you have your freedom now. That's a good thing.
YELLOW- I'm so sorry you we're stalked by that old perv. And the elders intimidated you into stopping the police investigation into the guy ? They really are concerned only in protecting the " pretend " reputation of the organization - not concerned with protecting a poor sister being stalked by a crazy old pervert. Thanks for sharing - Hope you are doing O.K. now.
SOUTH CENTRAL- So an elder falsely accused you of rape ? Good lord ! They stop at nothing do they ? Sounds like the elder was jealous of you. Sorry you went through that. Glad your wife and other family members stood up in your behalf. Hang in there
asilentone

Flipper, after the elder asked me if I ever went to Strip Club, I have NEVER been used to do ANY public prayers ever since, they are probably waiting for my confession. Someone must have ratted me out to the elders, but it was not me.
flipper

ASILENTONE- Crazy situation for sure. Maybe the person seen at the strip club LOOKED LIKE you or something ! Shows you how unjust they are to assume things. Sorry to hear they treated you like that. But whoever ratted you out is just as guilty for being there himself ! LOL! Peace out, MR. Flipper
jwfacts

" circumstancial fornication "
My friend was disfellowshipped for this. He was an alcoholic and the elders wanted to disfellowship him for this, but found it difficult to prove. One night he got drunk with a sister and she slept there for the night so that she did not have to risk drink driving. He was disfellowshipped for "circumstancial fornication", which was hilarious as he is gay.
I don't have any great stories of my own, even though I had countless talking to's from elders for every silly little thing imaginable. When I was in Bethel I was called before the elders for going to a nightclub that I had never been to, because someone apparently saw my car out front. Another time I was counselled for leaving Bethel at midnight on the assumption that I was heading somewhere to get up to no good. I was in fact heading to my sisters place to stay for the weekend.
flipper

JWFACTS- Wow- that is a strange experience with your friend ! Once again- another victim of the elders " circumstancial fornication " trick ! It makes a person almost think the elders should get cameras to catch people on film - no, scratch that comment - we don't want THAT happening ! LOL! It is amazing how fellow witnesses would jump to incorrect conclusions about what we would be doing at times like what happened to you when you were just going to visit your sister ! It's like spy versus spy or something in the org
Opus92

A brother who was very good friends a woman I know with left his wife and had nowhere to go. The woman took pity on him let him stay with her until he got back on his feet. He went from a confused man without a home to a physically abusive alcoholic who terrorized the whole house. There was nothing she could do to get him to leave. The elders wouldn't help; somehow, his walking out on his wife and two kids made him untouchable. The elders instead focused on the woman, since she was "living in sin" by "letting" the man stay there. It didn't matter that she was a 5'2, 100-lb woman up against a 6'2, 250-lb man. It didn't matter that he was kicking the crap out of her on an almost regular basis. It didn't matter that every time she locked him out, he'd break a window or door to get back in. It didn't matter that not even the local police department could get that man out of the woman's house. The elders believed that she had let him in, so she was in the wrong until she put him out.
The worst thing about this? To this day, she agrees with the elders. She believes that all the misery she went through was Jehovah punishing her for... something. (Don't ask me what. I still don't get it.) What I can't figure out (and she can't give a decent answer to) is why Jehovah saw fit to punish her two children as well -- they were in the house the whole time and had to witness many things children should never have to see during the period of their mother's "punishment".
flipper

OPUS 92- Wow, what an incredible experience ! That poor woman not only getting the snot beat out of her from the Behemoth brother staying with her- but having to deal with snarky elders who imputed wrong motives to her in taking the brother in ! And even still she thinks it was Jehovah punishing her . Brother. More like she was punishing herself by making stupid decisions taking the abusive guy into her home in the first place ! As well as endangering her children. Incredible
hoser

In one of our neighbouring congregations there was a gestapo elder. He would scope out houses of single brothers and sisters. A sisters car was parked in front of her boyfriends house all night because he was taking in to the shop where he worked as a mechanic to do some repairs. They had switched vehicles so he could work on hers. Of course elder stasi observed this and called together a jc.

As a JW Were You or Someone you Knew Falsely Accused by Elders ?

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