Anger, depression, came with freedom slowly growing and becoming the over riding feeling.
Much more happier as the years progess that has been my experience.
Learning the "Truth" Is not true is like...................
by foolsparadise 33 Replies latest jw friends
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Psychotic Parrot
I was only 18 when i finally broke free... must be an early developer (for a j-dub) in the intelligence department
It was quite a relief really, realising that i don't have to start over after armaggedon & watch lots of people die, or face dying there myself.
The reality that i will one day die though doesn't phase me much, but i am only 22 so...
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AwSnap
I felt a bit alone because nobody (every jw surrounding me) believed I was correct. And, of course, those who did feel I was right were 'obviously on Satan's side'...but wait! No, they're not!
It took a LOT of re-conditioning on my brain through self realization. I had to learn, once again, that the initial thought that popped into my head was wrong (if it was prejudice or judgmental). While being a jw, they also trained my mind to believe our first inclinations are wrong. Except it was THEM who were wrong, not me.
It took me a very long time, with depression and anxiety holding the reigns for a couple years. Yet I do not regret the decision I made. Years have passed, and I do not have the depression any longer. And I have many friends who practice unconditional love.
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chicken little
Years of depression while in the org. Feeling that life was to be fought through. Always a feeling that I was not listening to something inside of me. When I did listen to that voice, then the floodgates opened. I started to use my intelligence and there was no going back. Went to a meeting one evening after the floodgates had opened and could not get my legs to work, I sat rooted to the car seat holding on to the steering wheel for dear life. That did it....body caught up with the mind...no way back. Went home and never looked back since. Feel at times an utter fool for believing what I did. Have learnt to forgive myself, as the witnesses so rightly say...nobody is perfect!! Haha.
All the best to you.....enjoy your life!!
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Lunatic Faith
I think yknot described my situation best.
I believed it wholeheartedly, my hubby kept bringing up things that really affected him and I kept making excuses. I didn't think they were a big deal. Then he told me about the Millerites, the Great Disappointment, etc. That did it. I had already spent my whole life in expectation, and now I realize there is no guarantee our time is any more special than any other. Then I realized that secular historians say Jerusalem didn't fall in 607 BCE and if we do the math, that means Jesus reign didn't happend till 1934.
Forgive me--I digress: So the first feeling was sickening dread that I had no future and no hope. That I had no guarantee of seeing my mother and father again. I realized I had an extremely cavalier attitude about my own health, "Jehovah will fix my high blood pressure!" Now I realized I needed to start taking responsibility like the rest of the world.
Once acceptance came, which it eventually did because I realized anything was better than going back into prison, I felt adrift. Like I had no focus or 'true-north'. That is what I have been feeling for a few weeks but, believe it or not, while visiting Vegas (and getting my sin on;) I actually visited a psychic. She told me things about myself and even my father who died a short time ago. What she told me comforted me and put everything in this world in perspective. I feel more in charge of my life and more optimistic about life and death.
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Satanus
Like waking up on another planet. For a jw, the wt worldview overlays reality. Once it crumbles, reality si like another world.
S
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cyberjesus
The truman show, The matrix combined. The difference is that this was no movie.
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transhuman68
For me, learning that 'Jehovah' was a fraud, and the Bible was just a book was a real shock. I had always assumed there was some truth to these things; that everything would be revealed eventually.
It took me months to work through my feelings of loneliness and desperation, but now I am happy to be living in the real life.
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satinka
Learning the Truth TM is not the truth is enormously freeing!
satinka
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villabolo
Waking up one morning and finding out that your world was made of shit.
Villabolo