by angel eyes 121 Replies latest jw friends
It is not easy to be a JW. As you all know. It is a hard fight to follow a righteous path.
The first and third statements have no relativity to each other. Same could be said, as far as that goes about any religion. But of course Jw's have no exclusive hold on the 'righteous path'. Talk about self-righteous statements.
Jeff
It didn't work for me AE.
Missed out on the innocence of youth
Constant threat of death for not believing stuff that didn't completely make sense.
Missed education came with the multitude of missed opportunitys that result from that stupidity.
My parent's killer god "has excrement and has to go to the privy" so he never shows up to exonerate my parents for trying to bully me and scare me into getting baptised into their madness before their next time frame for Armageddon expires.
I'm 57 years old and they are still using psychological warfare to convert me, but want to do that without answering a single question of mine, prefering to insinuate that the source of my question is lead astray by the devil, despite me continually refering to their own literature as the source. It is the same every time we are together without an audience.
And..... my parents lie to me all the time. I can't have an intelligent discussion about any aspect of their religion because they continually lie and deny and side step and character assassinate and use double standards. My father will read a scripture with a word missing to change it's meaning (John 20:28) and then attack my character as being led astry by the devil. Honesty only gets lip service in their home. It's no fun being born in, I can tell you.
The only good thing about being born in, is that we don't have the embarrasment of having to admit that we were recruited into a cult while we were adults. My parents have a huge incentive to stay members. To admit they were wrong would mean apologising to me and to hundreds of others who's lives and family relationships have been damaged over the past seventy years due to them knocking on doors with a message from a alcoholic nutcase in Brooklyn who already had a history of making false prophetic statements.
Cheers
Chris
pjschipper,
:Those who left have a lot of anger inside.
Yeah. Thirty years of lie after lie after lie and three decades wasted for a cold-blooded Printing Corporation does kinda do that people.
Farkel
Here, Here! Black Sheep. Only those who have real experience ring true!
Speaking as someone who was raised as a witness... I get that the indoctrination effects even adults, but think of how that indoctrination effects you when you heard it through all your formative years. When I left there was a long period of time when I would have to leave the room if a special news bulletin came on the TV because I would get physically ill... yes, I would literally get sick to my stomach because no matter how much I didn't believe the witnesses were right I just knew that news bulletin would be telling me that all religion was now outlawed and it would be too late for me. I had dreams of jehovah chasing me with mudslides at armageddon well into my early twenties. Then you have to look at social development. The 'I am better than everyone' attitude is a hard thing to shake when you grow up with it. It is an almost continual battle to humble myself when situations call for it. And I still don't do well in social situations. I was never allowed to have friends outside the witnesses and there weren't that many options within the witnesses. I am very blunt and abrasive and often misinterpereted because I just don't get, or don't care to get, all the subtleties of normal, healthy social interactions.
Now, don't get me wrong, there were things I got from growing up as a witness... I am not swayed by peer pressure and don't have a problem standing up for a cause I believe in despite what the authority figure in the situation thinks. I have the strength of character to not be overly concerned with those who don't accept me for who I am. I make no judgements on the basis of race. I am honest to a fault. But, honestly, I think there would be better ways for me to have learned those things growing up than as a witness. Also, those are not things that every kid raised as a witness takes from the experience, either, so it's no guarantee.
Here's the other difference. Growing up as a witness I knew my Dad's love was, to a degree, conditional. Yes, yes, he loves me no matter what, but I knew that the relationship would be damaged, strained, and difficult if I ever left... despite the fact that I was never baptised. Those who convert into the religion know that their families love them no matter what, assuming it is a normal, healthy relationship. Perhaps their families don't agree with their decision to join the witnesses, but there is no shunning or such. And if a convert leaves they have that family and old friends to fall back on... a built in parachute for the jump back into the world. There is always the knowledge there that they have something or someone to fall back on. If a witness kid messes up they don't have that security that those they love and care about will *always* be there for them. And isn't that the duty of all parents? To be a safe haven for their children no matter what? Witness kids do not have that, instead they know if they mess up not only will their parents turn their backs on them "out of love" but jehovah will destroy them.
When I speak with someone who doesn't understand what it is to grow up as a witness this is one of the things I say to give them an idea: You know when you were a kid and you would be scared of the monster under the bed. And your mom or dad would come in and tell you the monster wasn't real, wasn't going to hurt you, and checked all the places the monster might hide just to reassure you that the monster wasn't there? Jehovah was my monster, and my dad told me constantly just how real my monster was. That fear is what it is to grow up as a witness... at least it was for me and for many others I have spoken with.
Jackie
Yes, Jackie, what you have shared is so very true! You are not alone.
Those who convert into the religion know that their families love them no matter what, assuming it is a normal, healthy relationship. Perhaps their families don't agree with their decision to join the witnesses, but there is no shunning or such. And if a convert leaves they have that family and old friends to fall back on... a built in parachute for the jump back into the world. There is always the knowledge there that they have something or someone to fall back on.
******
TheSilence,
That is exactly how it was for me, my family welcomed me back with open arms, as though I had never left. It was very easy to blend back into my former life as though those 13 years had never happened to a point.
I do think converts and those born in do share some similarities though upon leaving, both have to struggle with the mindset, the guilt, the fear and the what if's... plus the occasional shunning by JW's.
I cannot imagine trying to escape a cult without family backing, that would have to be a very devastating thing to do, as evidenced by these experiences. My heart goes out to you all who have, and are, enduring such trials.
I do think converts and those born in do share some similarities though upon leaving, both have to struggle with the mindset, the guilt, the fear and the what if's... plus the occasional shunning by JW's.
I agree and I hope what I wrote didn't seem to trivialize the experience of a convert leaving the religion. I was speaking more about being in the religion... I think even when one still believes in the religion, in the back of their minds a convert knows they have that safety net wheras a born in does not... and I do think that effects those who are raised as witnesses significantly.
I'm glad your family welcomed you back with open arms. I, too, was lucky in that my extended family welcomed me with open arms... but having been raised only to hear what evil, sinful people they were and how they would never support us because of our religion, it was not what I expected. Instead I expected ridicule and I told you so's... and why wouldn't I expect that, it's what the witnesses do and say about 'worldly' people behind their backs. To learn that not only did they love me after I left... but also that they had loved me while I was still in and it was all my Dad's indoctrination that put the distance between us was eye opening. I know that my experience in leaving was exceptionally easy compared with most and it is mostly because of them. For that alone I can never thank them enough. I can't imagine how difficult it was for those who had all of their family in when they left.
Jackie
The silence
I am more than impressed with your comment. You are a very good teacher and I feel those thoughts will help many others reason things out.
Thank you for taking the time to put your heartfelt feelings into such nice words.
I agree and I hope what I wrote didn't seem to trivialize the experience of a convert leaving the religion. I was speaking more about being in the religion... I think even when one still believes in the religion, in the back of their minds a convert knows they have that safety net wheras a born in does not... and I do think that effects those who are raised as witnesses significantly.
************
Great post
I think you expressed it perfectly. I am happy that you were also able to find a safety net of sorts, upon leaving. I wish it were so for everyone.
(my computer refuses to quote)
