Do you think ex Jehovah's Witnesses make better people? (page 2)

glenster

There are some basic good ethics a person could get as one of the JWs or else-
where. One of the JWs could become one of the ex-JWs due to habits we'd gener-
ally consider ethical or unethical. To not abide by the JWs leaders' special-
ties (a ban of the medical use of blood and major blood products, expanded rules
about worldliness discouraging not only trivial things but government jobs and
putting followers dangerously at odds with intolerant leaders, relatively harsh
shunning including of those who persist in disagreeing with the JWS leaders'
specialties, discouragement of Bible research that's critical of the JWs lead-
ers' specialties, discouragement of charity for people other than other JWs,
discouragement of higher education, etc.) is an improvement.

Scarred for life

In looking at myself and the relatives that I have that are former JWs, I disagree with everything you have said. I see emotionally damaged, depressed, lost people that do not have the tools that they need to make a living for themselves or pull themselves up into a better lfe. The people that were raised as JWs have been given no education. They don't know how to take care of themselves. They mistrust other people and mental health specialists(even though many of them need help desperately). They drink to excess, use many prescription drugs and have all kinds of vague illnesses like fibromyalgia. They have nothing to look forward to because everything they were taught all their life to look forward to they now know is a lie.

I realize what I have said does not appy to every ex-JW out there. But that's what I see in my family.

cantleave

After I left the chemical Industry I made a good living through the sales and presentation skills taught to me by being Witness. I probably would have never considered selling as a career if I didn't gain the confidence through my Theocratic training. But I probably would have not spent my life living in fear of displeasing a false god and dealing with the associated stress and anxiety either.

moshe

kriptonian7, I don't accept that ex-JW's are better people. I sense a lingering bit of JW pride- we're better than worldly people because we have the truth and we preach the good news- well maybe we didn't, but I still don't want to give up feeling special-

a- strong Bible Knowledge? Hardly, unless you have went to a seminary for 4 years, but then again this Bible knowledge will have about as much real value as memorizing Moby Dick.

b- good people skills? not really, JW's were trained to lie and manipulate householders into becoming WT converts, which in my book is just one notch above criminal behavior. Then after they found out the lies, the JW's cowed them into staying in the KH using the stick of shunning and marking.

c- JW's are very caring people- yes, they are in a superficial way, but just don't ask them for any real help, like financial aid or help with a charity and performing any civic duty. It is not easy to begin getting involved in works for social justice and in charities. It has been ingrained in JW's to avoid that stuff and becoming an ex-JW doesn't turn off that negative imprinting overnight.

D- ability to reason- well stick around this forum for a few years and that might happen.

e- ex-W's have a good grasp on life and enjoy it better- well maybe they do and maybe they don't-I see this as just anecdotal musings of a hopeful nature. While you are enjoying that cigar there is a lot of suffering and injustice going on, which an ex-JW's special caring nature just can't wait to do something about-

I have been on this forum for a few years now and this is what I have noticed:

What I think many Ex-JW'S lack is - HUMILITY- the admission of wrongdoing to the people they have hurt or injured over the years and a heartfelt apology to them-

- acceptance of the consequences of their bad behavior - they want forgiveness, but not the "you reap what you sow", part of it.

-honesty- ex-JW's are often unable to admit their real beliefs about the WT org- They slink away and pretend to just be backsliders- in an effort to avoid the, "you reap what you sow" part of leaving a mind controlling cult.

-bravery- ex-JW's often fail to confront the ones who are causing their misery, ie, elders, JW relatives, etc and become enablers in a cycle of shunning.

-failure to give up manipulative conduct. I see this a lot. Ex-JW's want to turn all their JW relatives/spouses/friends to their way of thinking. They concoct elaborate schemes in an effort to get their JW spouse to see the "light". Which all goes back to the desire to avoid the "you reap what you sow" consequences of leaving the WT org.

Someday the WT may stop shunning and that will make the life of ex-JWs much easier, but until then there will be pain for those who leave the KH.

parakeet

kriptonian7: ... if you were a JW at one point, you now are a stronger and better person for it.

That's like saying if you survive the Ebola virus, you're immune from it. There are better ways to become a stronger, better person, whatever that means. Not many people would say that surviving a train wreck made them better people.

The only advantage exdubs have is a nose keenly attuned to detect the aroma of BS in whatever form it may take.

As for the wonderful "advantages" that having been a dub confers --

1) strong bible knowledge base.

A collection of myths and semi-historical accounts of a bloodthirsty god. It's the reason I don't discuss religion with anyone outside of this forum.

2) people skills ... i attribute my excellent sales skills to this.

Goody for you. Glad those endless hours of trudging d2d selling worthless crap was useful for you.

3) A solid core of beliefs that is true with any religion.

If you still believe them, then how does being an EX-dub make you a better person?

JW's for the most part are very caring people and will do most anything to help.

Tell me where those dubs are. I've got to meet them. I've yet to meet dubs who will lift a finger to help anyone outside of their misguided cult. They don't help each other much either.

They just tend to get a little mis guided with their approach on how they should handle things.

Ya think?

4) my ability to question and reason.

What planet are you from? You do realize the dubs are a cult? When I asked the elders questions they couldn't answer, I was told to shut up. How's that for nurturing thinking skills?

5) Ex JW's tend to have a good grasp on life.

See statement above regarding Ebola viruses and train wrecks.

But beleive that once we have broken free, we used what we were taught and our experiences to better ourselves..

When you start at ground zero, there's nowhere else to go but up.

Scarred for life

Moshe:

Excellent post. One of the best I have read on this forum.

What I think many Ex-JW'S lack is - HUMILITY- the admission of wrongdoing to the people they have hurt or injured over the years and a heartfelt apology to them-

I think this has been the #1 thing that has hurt me. My parents, an aunt. Never admitting that they were wrong or that they hurt me and my sister. No apology for the religious beliefs that they raised us with. Silence and avoidance of any discussion. Just slid away as to not upset the JW family still in.

Fuck them all.

JosephMalik

Do you think ex Jehovah's Witnesses make better people?

No! But it does make a lot of disturbed people that would have been better of if they never were involved.

Joseph

Scarred for life

That's a good way to put it, JosephMalick.

trueblue

I think JWs make better people when they are asleep!!!

kriptonian7

Wow its like kicking an ant pile in this forum.

OK, so..... I was not one Nazi JW's that some of you have ecountered. Im not trying to boast, or cling to some weird Witness pride moshe. Im not making excuses for some of the f'd up things that they may have done to you or your loved ones.

It seemed to me that most people here are EXJWs. Many of the posts ive read talk about how they have gone out and began to educate themselves on cults, beliefs, religion. They have finally found themselves after breaking free. I know that I will not raise my kids the way my Lifer JW mother attempted to raise us. She was a horrible parent..still is.

The better name for this should have been, Does being an EX JW make you a stronger person.

Apparently some EX JW's are bitter, angry, forum posters that like to attack at the first scent of blood....wow.

But already my eyes have been opening to things I had never heard or knew thanks to this forum and i would like to thank the people here for that. I would like to talk to my family about some of the things ive learned but according to Moshe, that would make me no better than them by "failing to give up my manipulative conduct" i guess.

Do you think ex Jehovah's Witnesses make better people?

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