don't marry that unbaptized meeting going sister, or loose your privileges

by DaCheech 27 Replies latest jw experiences

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  DaCheech

  I've got one of those forever single friend.

  he tries to be friends with every kind of "spiritual" sister out there. they use him for gifts, rides, and paying their diner meals when the friends go out.

  he's in his late 40's and has himself been used by 5 sisters in a 15 years span.

  he says he's found a good one, but she goes to meetings and is studying the "troof". his elders and nosybody acquantences have told him to lay off of her until she's baptized and then some (2-3 years for prooving herself in the lord) or else loose his priviliges.

  I tried to nonchalantly telling him that was hogwash, but the pharasees have a grip on him
• 

  lepermessiah

  his elders and nosybody acquantences have told him to lay off of her until she's baptized and then some (2-3 years for prooving herself in the lord) or else loose his priviliges.

  I love that mentality - I love you but I dont trust you. Lets wait for 3 years to get married.

  Even though the odds are if we really are in love, that counsel is going to encourage us to get in trouble because we wont be able to keep our hands off of each other.

  What a great way to start a marriage!!
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  WTWizard

  After 3 years, the hounders will want to wait another 2-3 years. And then another 2-3. The ultimate goal is to use him for the Value Destroyer Training School.

  Chances are good that a simple disassociation letter, accompanied by sending the suitor to apostate sites, will have better results.
• 

  cantleave

  Value Destroyer Training School

  WTWizard - please provide us with a lexicon - your terminology makes me laugh so much.
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  Tea drinker

  Great! What is he waiting for? He's found a nice young lady to court and he gets to jettison his "privileges" at the same time.

  Some people have all the luck! I wish that had happened to me while I was still going.
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  DaCheech

  can't reason with him.

  on top of all that he's got frequent panick attacks, and therefore asks another one of my friends to help him do the talks.

  I keep on telling him, why is he trying to do the undoable, and he keep on saying that doing more with help him be happier
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  bigwilly

  It never occurred to me that some of the person's still single well into their 40's were that way due to interference from the elders. It makes sense that they'd meddle, but I'd never experienced it or been that close to someone who had. It's sad really, especially when the dubs already make it so difficult with the social restrictions and backward thinking about love and relationships.
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  bluecanary

  Sorry if this sounds rude, but these questions are based on experience: Has he been dating women his own age or younger? Has he been dating only gorgeous women or has he dated some of the less conventionally attractive girls? 99% of the JW men I've known date women 10-20 (-30+) years younger than them and only date women with great figures. Doesn't even matter what he looks like. They ignore the women in their peer group who would very much love to find a companion. IMO, guys like that deserve to get used.
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  asilentone

  tell him go for it, ignore the elders, he can still reach out for priveleges. I know a guy that was threatened the same way, he ignored the elders, he married her and now he is MS, go figure.
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  straightshooter

  But the sad thing is that the elders can remove the privileges initially, if he proceeds to marry one who is not baptized.