Ok Mr. Perry, you are overlooking one important fact here. In an ideal world you might very well be right to say that these parents are all deceived and would practice unconditional love if the rules were different. But your "all" is not any less damaging than anyone else's generalization and it leaves out something that is pervasive within congregations, and that is mental illness. With psychiatric treatment and therapy demonized as it is, many times this goes undiagnosed, but not, I'm afraid, less prevalent for that fact.
My mother, for example, has borderline personality disorder. I have known many with bi-polar, even schizophrenia. And the ranks are teaming with the seriously depressed. Now I am NOT saying that all JWs are mentally ill. Many are decieved, as you noted. But when this type of behavior and the history discussed with how her daughter has been treated, and others who have made comparisons, you can't just call people abusive that tell their story or state their opinion.
Here's what the National Institute of Mental Health says on their website about borderline personality disorder:
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness characterized by pervasive instability in moods, interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior. This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity. Originally thought to be at the "borderline" of psychosis, people with BPD suffer from a disorder of emotion regulation. While less well known than schizophrenia or bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness), BPD is more common, affecting 2 percent of adults, mostly young women.1 There is a high rate of self-injury without suicide intent, as well as a significant rate of suicide attempts and completed suicide in severe cases.2 ,3 Patients often need extensive mental health services, and account for 20 percent of psychiatric hospitalizations.4 Yet, with help, many improve over time and are eventually able to lead productive lives.
There are also people that are just hateful people who thrive on drama and causing friction and division. Many are passive aggressive types who like the pain caused by their actions.
So, in my case, my mother shuns me and my son, and I allow her to do that without trying to make an attempt to out "love" her. Because she will never be treated for this, nothing I can do will help or alleviate it, and all she causes me is heartache, grief, and stress. Do I forgive her? Absolutely, but I cannot be around it. Perhaps in the next life.
Ada