This morning, as I was fixing breakfast, my wife and I got on the subject of religion (again) and I apologized to her for some of the things I said yesterday regarding the Jehovah's Witnesses.
In short, I said that given the way she treated me in regards to keeping me in the dark about certain financial situations, overdrawing her checking account and running up $500 in credit card debt due to her overdrafts that I am surprised the elder and his wife would approve of her activities in light of their teachings. I said, "When you go to their house and study that book 'Keeping Yourself in God's Love' with them, ask them what they would think of you taking such a nonchalant attitude over how you are managing the household finances and the way you respond to me when I inquire about the situation. Telling me that 'I should not worry' and that 'I am being fed and have a roof over my head' in such a way that I should just be quiet about it and let you be in charge." I then said, "If being a Jehovah's Witness is such a good thing and improves attitudes and marraiges, prove it. Why should I become a witness if this is what they allow or even condone?" She said, "Why should I try to prove anything?" Then I said, "Personally, I think that if I became a witness, in a year I would end up being disfellowshipped for apostacy because there would be some doctrinal issue that I disagree with." She said, "I think you'd be a better witness than I would." I said, "I doubt it, besides, from what I've been reading I think I am better off staying as far away from them as possible. These are people that one does not want to associate with."
As you can see, the exchange got a little heated. Personally the issue regarding finances is normal and has nothing to do with religion or a lack of it. My only problem was the attitude taken by her when I try to have a rational discussion with her over this or any other issue where she feels strongly about something. My way or the highway is the general response.
Anyway, back to this morning's apology. I apologized for the exchanged and said that I said some things that in hind sight were inappropriate. She said, "I just can't help but to think that if I were a Baptist, Holiness, or whatever, we would not be having these exchanges." I said, "I understand, but you got to understand the uniqueness of your religion. They put down all other religions claiming that they are the only ones who are right and then act in ways that make them out to look like hypocrits." I continued, "Think of the child molestation issue in regards to the witnesses. I understand that when it happens, the parents cannot report it to the police until the elders are consulted first. The elders require 'two witnesses' to validate the charge or otherwise, the offending brother is not disfellowshipped. Where will one find 'two eye witnesses' other than the offender and the victim in such a case? If the brother is not disfellowshipped, the parents of the victim are discouraged from contacting the authorities for fear of 'bringing reproach upon Jehovah's name.'" She did not believe this and stated that if something happened to our daughter, she would verify it first and if necessary press charges. I told her about Barbara Anderson's story though I could not remember the full story at the time. I told her that she was in the writing department at Bethel and had learned about the issues surrounding the Watchtower concering child molestation. I said, "How can they put down the Catholic church and their problems concerning priests and alter boys but deny or even cover up their owns issues regarding child abuse." I even told her that just before Barbara went public with her findings, she was disfellowshipped and the witnesses were told not to believe her testamony.
My wife said, "I think there are two sides to that story and she was not giving you the full picture. If this organization is truly engaged in this practice, then it is an organization that I do not want to be a part of. How could I believe that this is true?" I replied, "I don't know, it's too bad we cannot verify these things first hand. I could show you her testamony, but since she was disfellowshipped I know you will not read it."
Maybe some of the people on this board can relate and/or share their testamony. I've been to silentlambs.org but I guess given the way the Watchtower seems to operate, how can anyone convince the rank and file witness (or even those who have never been witnesses) that these things are really happening? A lot of the testamonies I share with my wife regarding WT issues don't seem to jive with her personal experiences. For example, the policy of shunning disfellowshipped people (including family) is something she has never seen happen in her personal experience. The disfellowshipped ones are still treated nicely by their JW family according to her experiences. The stories I read here about family members completely cutting off all relations with disfellowshipped ones are something she beleives (from the things she's personally witnessed) does not exist. She thinks all of this stuff is coming from a bunch of people who are mad and seeking to slander the organization because they want to do something the Bible does not approve of.