How long did it take before you started talking to others about being an ex-dub?

by the real life 29 Replies latest jw friends

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  wobble

  I am fading, but living in the same place I have lived for 36 years, so I have only mentioned it to neighbours and shop-keepers locally who have brought the subject up.

  I was well known for street witnessing locally.

  I don't shout it too much, coz I can see the Elders using it to say I have DA'd myself, something I don't want to happen.(loads of family still in)

  I find that I am reticent to mention, it when I could turn the conversation that way, I think that stems from being (born) in for 58 years, and for all those years I was embarrassed about being a JW with people who were potential friends, so I never mentioned it in those circumstances, and it now comes as a reflex action to keep quiet unless pushed.

  Love

  Wobble
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  lifelong humanist

  the real life

  I was vocal right from the outset when I submitted my letter to DA myself. My 4 sons were relieved. My brother and sister wondered why it took me so long. My wife wasn't at all impressed with my decision, although by then she had some pretty serious doubts (still has over 6 years further down the line).

  Quickly informing neighbours, locals that I'd witnessed to, nodding acquaintances met in the street, and workmates that I'd 'escaped' from the clutches of the JW cult was a great feeling! - it still ranks as one of my best ever, life changing decisions. Hardly a week passes when I don't encounter a familiar JW that 'pretends' I don't exist when they just walk on by. This used to irritate and even annoy me, but now I think it just convinces me that I did the correct thing when I quit the cult and its adherents.

  I just patiently await the day that my wife finds the courage to quit the JWs, too.

  lifelong humanist
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  WTWizard

  About two years--the amount of time it took between when I quit going to boasting sessions and field circus, and the time I was able to get my sun-worship tree fully set up.
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  cantleave

  I made contact with my best childhood friend (also the best man at our wedding), as soon as decided I wanted to leave. He was DF'd nine years ago. Telling him I was leaving was a real bitter sweet experience foor both of us. 9 years without shared experience was bitter, knowing we can be be friends from now on sweet!
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  finding my way

  the real life,

  You know me I have a big mouth. I made my decision that I don't want to be a witness fairly recently. I felt like thoughts and facts were pouring over and I couldn't keep shut. I'm sure some people think it's not that big of a deal which is why I like this site so I can talk about things and people totally get it. I can't help but tell people whenever religion or holidays comes up. I've told a lot of work members that I don't celebrate most holidays (I work in the school system and holidays come up alot) because I was raised a JW (most have heard of the religion) I usually follow that with a "I'm not sure how I feel about them now, but I guess I still don't celebrate them accept for birthdays." I've recently decided a birthday is no different than a weddinng anniversary to me and it doesn't say not to in the bible anyways. I also recently started telling my friends and non-JW family "Happy Birthday" on Facebook and I don't really care if one of my JW family members sees or hears about it. (My Mom has my cousins on her Facebook account). We don't have a relationship anyways and I've decided I just want to be myself and not hide too much.

  I don't have deep conversations about it with any non-believers unless they actually seem interested though. One co-worker of mine kept asking me questions and couldn't believe some of the things I've gone through. Funny thing is, I haven't really been through very much when I compare my story with others on here.

  I kind of admire your ability to keep things reserved. I've always wished I could be more like that. Maybe someday i'll get used to being a loudmouth.

  ~fmy
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  life is to short

  I have started to tell everyone I know. At first I was freaked out because I thought what if this really is the truth and I kill these people. I know crazy thinking.

  Now I ask them what did you think when a JW came to your door. They all say they thought we were there to sell magazines like the Moonies sell flowers on the street or at the airports. They all just thought we were harmless.

  I tell them did you know that JW's believe that if you do not join them and become one of them that God will kill you very soon. As the end of this word is very close.

  Everyone who I have told this to is blown away. No one I have talked to knew that the JW's felt God would kill them. It sound so hateful as it truly is.
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  finding my way

  ugh. I can't believe I actually typed "non-believers"
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  the real life

  One friend of mine said that he always thought witnesses looked really sad, which was why he was never tempted to take any literature. Kind of funny considering that they think they are the happiest people in the world.

  And finding my way - I like it that you talk about everything! It keeps things interesting =)
• 

  BluesBrother

  It was very easy to tell the workmates. We had worked together a long time and had always been decent to me as a dub, even when I had said things that now seem to be inappropriate in my attempts to "witness". It rolled off the tongue very easily to say that I no longer practiced or believed it. They were not unduly bothered either way, of course.

  It was wonderful though ! to be able to speak for myself, to be able to reason on things and join in a conversation without first thinking"What does The Society say about this?"..As time went on I was able to enlighten them about the reality of life in a close-control group...I do not think that any one of them is likely to give a listening ear to a dub at the door
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  Saoirse

  It took me about 10 or 11 years to admit that I was raised a JW. I guess I was kind of embarrassed about it and I was afraid that people would think I was a weirdo or something. I was also trying to do the fade thing but that only works for so long. When I finally started telling people the reaction was overwhelmingly positive. 9 times out 10 people congratulate me for leaving and want to hear what life was like as a JW. I've even gotten a few dinner invites out of it.

  I feel like I have a responsibility to warn people about this cult. I don't want any other child to go through what I went through. The JWs are out everyday knocking on doors and trying to convert people. If we all remain silent then how will people know to stay away from them? I don't go around with a ex-JW sign or anything but the topic usually comes up whenever the conversation turns to religion, holidays or annoying solicitors.

  I've only gotten a negative reaction from two people for speaking out. Both were DFed and didn't attend anymore but I guess they still held on to the belief system and deluded themselves into thinking that the JW religion is good one. That's a really sad place to be.