If you are still in, do you wish sometimes to be DF?

Albert Einstein

For a year now(after 18 active years) Iam 100% anti JW, hate meetings and all the JW stuff drives me crazy....

But my wife (that I trully love) and 100% of her family is still actively in...

I work hard to deprogram my wife and to make sure my little kids will never become members of any cult....

I told my wife, if she will consult elders and they would come over to talk to me, I would be DF on that evening. She believes that, so she doesnt seek any "help".

Iam inactive and visit meetings about 2 times a month, just to acompany my wife... Hate KH, hate to listen the BS there, to see the zombie faces...

Sometimes I wish to be DF ... it would create some troubles, but from that day I would never go to KH, probably be shunned by the zombie people, who are able to talk only about "how healthy it is to eat carrot, because there was an article about it in AWAKE.....".

Life would be much easier after all...

Your experience/opinion?

Albert

asilentone

The advantage of being df'd is that you have nothing to lose, but you would lose your JW family/friends. I have never been df'd, but if I am, I will find out how I feel about it when it happens to me.

Albert Einstein

I know what do you mean asilent, but luckily, I have by today just a very few (so called) friends in the cult and I was able to estabilish many real friends outside...

I do not really intend to be DF, but I hate JWs (relatives and others) treating me like "spiritually weak" , like if I had a leprosy or so ... I hate to listen "OH, HOW COME YOU DONT KNOW WHEN YOUR ASSEMBLY IS??????" or "OH YOU WERENT AT THE MEETING THIS WEEK???? HOW COME???" and "HAVE YOU READ THE WONDERFUL ARTICLE ON FAMILY WORHIP IN THE AWAKE??? OH YOU HAVENT READ IT...."

If I was DF, nobody would bother to talk to me anymore....

Albert

OnTheWayOut

After about 18 active years and a few inactive, I am likewise 100% anti JW, hate meetings and all the JW stuff drives me crazy....

Likewise, my wife (that I trully love) and some of her family is still actively in...

I work hard to deprogram my wife (No kids).

I didn't have a DF talk with the wife, but we have an understanding that our marriage is between us and anything between me and the congregation is between me and the congregation only. She doesn't ask me to meet with them.

I am 100% inactive and never visit meetings just to acompany my wife. Occasionally, I will drop her off and pick her up there.

Even though I am not there, I still think about being DF'ed sometime, just to have my day of telling them where to stick it.

I don't do it for my mother's sake. Sometimes I think I should let Mom live with her decisions that she might shun me if I DA or get DF'ed.

Albert Einstein

OTWO - quite similar circumstances....

Iam happy it works quite well for you and your wife...! Did you get your wife to read CoC or some apostate literature? Do you see any progress with her deprogramming?

Albert

OnTheWayOut

Did you get your wife to read CoC or some apostate literature? Do you see any progress with her deprogramming?

The first question, I would laugh if it weren't so sad. NO! I cannot get my wife to look at any "apostate" literature or anything that would even suggest possible ways to look at things differently. My sister read my copy of COMBATTING CULT MIND CONTROL and needed to return it. She was giving a bunch of work-related books to my wife so she put it in the stack. I noticed it, decided not to say anything. I found it later in the trash with coffee grounds all over it.

The second question, I have more positive reports. My wife got her master's degree while married to me. She knows the importance of education. I get her to think for herself as much as possible. We have had arguments about our (totally fictitious) child- what would I do if s/he was gay? Would I allow him/her to go to the meetings? On and on. I have pushed the envelope in these discussions, revealing how I would never shun a family member, would fully allow them to be themself and participate in the things they want to participate in. My wife is very "weak" in field circus and will miss the occasional meeting for other activities. She is reaching out partially to people in her field of work as friends.

Unfortunately, she is a very social JW, loves "the friends." She is sure that WTS teaches basic Bible truths, doesn't really try to understand the doctrine, is sure that they are "right."

jamiebowers

IMHO, you would be better off just avoiding the meetings and jws all together.

Out at Last!

If you do not like going, the meetings frustrate and anger you, just leave. Never go back. If they DF you, who cares. They have no control over you anymore anyway. That is all they want - control.

That is exactly what I did when I began feeling like you do now. I was in for 29 years, I always saw the hidden agenda, but the last couple of years it was like the mags and the talks were given in code and I was the only one able to break the code and see the real message. It is time to break with this cult and get it over with. What difference will it make if you do it now, or three years from now? Will your wife feel any different toward you or her religion in that time? Probably not. If you are truly unhappy, take the steps to change things. You will see that there is a big, wonderful world out there, with much nicer people than you find at KH's.

The best of luck to you.

wha happened?

yea just to bring closure

wantstoleave

I would stop going altogether too. Being one foot in, one foot out is frustrating and depressing. And although you're probably 100% 'out' in your mind, by going to the occasional meeting, you're setting yourself up for a fall because it goes against everything you now believe/think. I hope you can come to some sort of decision :)

If you are still in, do you wish sometimes to be DF?

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