Relationships after "The Truth"

by Cthulhu 15 Replies latest jw friends

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  Georgiegirl

  Let me turn it back around - what about you would be appealing? What personal work have you done to make yourself into the kind of guy that a woman who is both attractive and intellectually stimulating would want to date?

  Most JW guys are trained to think that by merely "spiritual" or by "reaching out" they automatically become desirable marriage material (and sadly, in the organization, that is often the case). They can be absolute a**es but if they are a pioneer, or MS or elder (gasp!) they are "HOT". Doesn't work in the world. They are a bit more picky because they can be.
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  Georgiegirl

  And - where would a woman who is both attractive and intellectually stimulating hang out? Are you hanging out there?
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  Satanus

  'Why, Satanus, do I think that your last suggestion of bringing conversation back around to Satan wouldn't work in my area?'

  It's a satire on the jw suggestion of always bringing their religion into everything. Who knows. Gothic, pierced, and tatooed girls might be receptive.

  ' & what is a pua site?'

  Pua means pick up artist. There are a few sites about this. It sounds negative, but they actually explain a lot of stuff.

  S
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  dgp

  Sorry, buddy, but if you're a Satanist, in the true sense of the word, then I'm afraid you won't get many dates. Maybe you will date other Satanists. To the rest of the world, you'll be off limits. Sorry.

  I am sure many more people would want you to meet their parents if you said you were a Jehovah's witness. Now, if you tell people that you were a Jehovah's witness first, and that now you've gone the other way around, then people will have second and third, and fourth thoughts about you. Some close-minded people will say that you're obviously nuts, since you left hell, only to go back to hell, and this time with the real bad guy who has the forklift and the arrow-pointed tail (and the little horns). (Just for the sake of explanation, since I am here, it's obvious we don't have anything in particular against witnesses). Others will say that they woud have liked to meet you when you were a JW. And still others will say that you're given to extreme changes and that is a big no-no.

  You will tend to attract the crazy kind. Sorry.
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  VoidEater

  La Vey Satanism, or something else?

  I apparently don't follow "the pattern" that CRR puts out.

  My advice: stop trying so hard. If you want a relationship, that takes time and grows. You can't force it - the things you force like that turn ugly.

  Get involved in hobbies - there are clubs, meetings, events, humans are endlessly devising ways to participate in things they enjoy or find interesting, and show off their interests and passions. Look at the local indie/alternate press for events and like-minded others. Get out and meet people. Go to church, if you really are making a specific religion a focal point of your life.

  You'll *meet people*. And they'll be sharing in something you're also interested in. That's how things usually start.

  A problem with much "forced" dating is the incessant need to keep a conversation going, which makes all manner of stupid trivial verbiage come rushing out. Don't be so hard on your date, they're probably just nervous and don't know what to say. They just might have an IQ of 156 but don't want to intimidate you.

  Be yourself. If that happens to attract others, great; if not, change (you've started that by emerging from the krazy kult). If you attract people you don't like by pretending to be someone else, well, that would be "your problem".

  You can have your standards. In the end, people will meet them, or you'll choose to be more alone. Or you can compromise.

  If you want to fall in love, that won't happen on a time table. And if you fall in love, you won't care if they aren't brilliant or picture perfect.
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  ColdRedRain

  I didn't say it was a pattern for all, just a pattern for all JWs who have had overbearing parents that shelter them. However, it's easy to break that pattern if you know what to look for.

  My advice would be for you to not date for at least 2 years after you leave. That way, you're wise to the ways of the outside world. Don't go to bars or clubs until after your 2 years are up. Instead, take up a hobby, particularly a safe one. And don't get obsessed about nookie. Trust me, it leads you to places where you don't want to be.

  Oh, and if you're really a Satanist in the Anton LeVey sense, ignore everything I said and simply live a hedonistic lifestyle. But buyer beware: you were sheltered from society at a whole, so if you're amongst a group of hedonists, you're going to get screwed over. They love fresh meat.