Older Men/Younger Women

by asilentone 23 Replies latest social relationships

  • dgp
    dgp

    I beg to differ with the people who say age doesn't matter. Sure it does. It should not be the only criterion to choose a mate, but it sure matters.

    Of course, I assume we're not talking about a 44 year old man who marries a 22 year old girl because "both are in the Truth" and there are no other "suitable" guys around, other than disgusting worldly people. Ah, and there are many chicks in the congregation; didn't Jehovah say that He would provide? My thoughts on this matter are, some men in the religion have found a "holy" (holy cow!) way to justify their going after the younger. Just as the rest of the people would do, only without the claim that this is done to Keep Yourself In God's Love, and those firm breasts of hers are not important at all. Yeah, right.

    I am of course open to believe that some of the guys above would indeed marry out of love. I'm not that cynical yet.

    Now, in a more general perspective, a 44 year old man knows full well that he's not in the same stage of life as the girl. He's trying to play with the advantage of his greater experience in life. Of course he's aware of the fact that the girl may not like his body that much, but finds compensation in other areas, such as, for example, his being better established in life, and his NOT being like 22-year old men; and he plays that card. He gives her security (including financial security) and "position", and gets youth. Most likely he won't like the same music, dislike the friends, and will have a totally different perspective of life; but that doesn't matter.

    He will also be afraid of her sleeping with someone younger, which is maybe why he will be quick to impregnate her. That will keep her quiet.

    When our 44 year old hero is 66, the girl will be 44. I'm sure most people will agree that they will be having some problems then. Like, for example, her feeling that she's in her sexual prime while he's somewhere else, and her feeling that she's now the caretaker of her grumpy grandpa, who will also be aware that she's now in better shape than ever. Other men will know that, too. And those twenty years of life together will have some weight of their own.

    Now, at that age, suppose the children have left the home. What about the feeling that the nest is empty?

    A 44 year old woman with a 22 year old man would be an absolutely different thing. I am sure she would be way, way ahead of him in life, way more knowledgeable, way smarter, and of course sex would be the main reason behind the relationship, from her side. From his side, the discovery of a new sexual world, and money. Or money, simply.

    Like I said, I agree that some people could really be in love. But they would be very few.

    I wouldn't say a word if the difference were, say, ten years.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Consenting adults know what they are getting. Just because it ain't for me or it ain't for you, it ain't necessarily wrong for others.

    Some people are into interracial and some people aren't. Some are gay and some are bi and some are hetero.

    If a guy can get a young babe, or a lady can get a young stud, power to them. Just get a young ADULT.

  • SPAZnik
    SPAZnik

    There are as many reasons for relationships as there are people in relationships; and then some.

  • Thirdson
    Thirdson

    Mrs Thirdson was 22 when we first met and I was 38, divorced with a 10 yr old son. We dated for 2 years before we got married. She became a step mom and cared for my son through the teenage years without difficulty. We knew what life would be like together, and knew there'd be some challenges. I put a limit on how old I would want to be still raising kids. Our daughter was born 4 years ago. Mrs Thirdson had some financial independance and was debt free after acheiving her degree. She pursued a career in non-profit orgs and after our daughter was born became a stay at home mom. Raising a small child, paying for pre-school education and funding my son's college education puts a strain on our income but we survive on a single income and live within our means. Our age difference poses some challenges for retirement planning and Mrs Thirdson could easily live for 20 years or more after I pass away.

    Mrs Thirdson's parents had no problem with her dating and marrying me. My parents didn't want me dating a non-JW even though they knew I was not attending meetings. We married at an Episcopal Cathedral and had the acting Dean a female priest officiate. My parents didn't attend. However, we got through this difficulty and my parents came to stay with us for 2 weeks recently. (This was their second trip and 2 years ago we took a vacation and spent 2 weeks with them.)

    Mrs Thirdson and I have been happily married for nine years. Some things just happen and they turn out fine.

    Third

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    Since I'm relationship challenged I can't do much more than wish them all the best.

    W

  • frankiespeakin
    frankiespeakin

    I like the line from Janis Joplin "Get it while you can" And they always got Viagra and Cialis and who know what else in the near furture.

  • dgp
    dgp

    Just for the sake of information, I'm in my forties and single. So you'd say I could be interested in this kind of relationships.

    Some people do get it right, like Mr. and Mrs. Thirdson. What about most couples like this?

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    My high school friend is 24 years younger than her husband, and they are absolutely in love with each other. He is her second husband. They married three years ago. She just turned 41 and he is almost 65. They were best friends for six years before they married. It's solid.

    My other school friend was 18 when she married her 35 year old husband. They have been happily married now since 1987. They have a boy who graduated HS last year. Their marriage is solid, as well.

    Neither couple are JW's and the "babe" factor doesn't apply in either case.

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    Think it out.

    In my culture it's commen. I'm 45 and wifey is 30.

    Believe u me I love having a young hottie to wake up to, but there are challenges. MIne is also a mixed marraige so I have those social pressures as well.

    We do have a very solid relationship

  • finallysomepride
    finallysomepride

    age does not matter, it's how we view our selves that does, I'm 50 and feel like I'm 25. my last 2 girl friends are 33 & 27, the 33 year old I saw her last time in January this year & the 27 since then, strangest thing they both have the same first name, probably saved me from some embarrassment if you know what I mean.

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