I think, retrospectively;

by AK - Jeff 17 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  wobble

  I am a little saddened that we no longer see the children of friends growing up etc, but I never have made really close friends amongst the Dubs.

  I always felt a kind of dis-connect, I felt more comfortable with "worldly" people, still do.

  I always got on with everybody, had a laugh, but I never got close.

  My Wife blames me for our being quite cut-off now, and she used to complain when we were in that I was not over-friendly, but they were all people that I did not choose as friends.

  Wifey is making friends "outside" now ,she is naturally gregarious, so that is good.

  I guess I simply felt their friendship was conditional ,and therefore shallow.

  I think it is important to move on and make new friends, even of ex-Dubs if necessary, (tongue in cheek)

  Love

  Wobble
• 

  OUTLAW

  Jehovah`s Witness`s saying Good-Bye..

  To someone who leaves the WBT$..

  .................... ...OUTLAW
• 

  lepermessiah

  I am finding that to be true more and more.

  Even as I started my fade, the emails, phone calls, and get-togethers have been few and far between.

  The few people I was particularly close with - I can tell they are getting more and more pissed off at me about my "attitude". (Way to draw me back in, eh??)

  I have gotten a few of the "we miss you" emails, a couple of the "dont turn your back on Jehovah" emails, but the more I see, the more I realize that everything is SO conditional in that organization.

  Your friendships are conditional - get spritually "weak" and forget having friends outside of a renegade or two - usually someone else considered "bad association".
• 

  straightshooter

  Friendships varies by region also. A witness told me how friendly the congregation was in Arkansas. They had gatherings all the time and the brothers and sisters always came to help if you were sick. But on the West Coast, the witnesses are so busy and cold. Gatherings are few and if one misses the meetings nobody comes to visit or help.

  So even within the organization friendships vary among regions or congregations among even fellow witnesses. If this happens with active witnesses, then the inactive are even treated worse.
• 

  undercover

  So even within the organization friendships vary among regions or congregations among even fellow witnesses.

  It was my experience, but no way conclusive evidence, that the bigger the city or more dense the population, the less social the dubs were among themselves.

  In the small towns and remote areas, the dubs depended on each other more and their only social contact were other dubs, sometimes for years and years with no change in the make-up of the congregation.

  In bigger cities, where there were more diversions and things to do, dubs "worshipped" together and would socialize to some degree, but with ever changing members of the congregation coming and going, deep friendships were harder to come by. They were also off enjoying the activities and culture of what ever city they were in. Add warm weather and water (FL and So. CA) and it was even more so.

  The bigger cities give JWs more anonymity. They can go out to clubs, movies, etc. and run less risk of being spotted by other dubs. Try that in a small town and everyone knows by breakfast what you were up to the night before.
• 

  snowbird

  Try that in a small town and everyone knows by breakfast what you were up to the night before.

  No, sir, they know it before the cock crows thrice.

  Sylvia
• 

  Casper

  So true Sylvia !!

  I especially liked how something told in confidence would also be spread, practically before the conversation had even ended.

  I think it is totally unfair to converts, like myself, who aren't given all the facts before it's too late. Only to find out later that if the "lifestyle" wasn't for them, they would be treated like lepers from so called "friends".

  I had never been treated that way before in my life !! Real friends DO NOT treat people that way. There is no way on earth that shunning me, would ever make me want to associate with that group again.

  It just doesn't work that way in my world, people I left behind when I became a witness were there with open arms when I returned, they were understanding and life went on.

  Not so with JW's... no, it's all our "Fault".

  Cas
• 

  LucyA

  I didn't mind missing the people who used to "pretend" to be my friends. So much as my brother he seams angry at me.

  Do what I did volunteer for something planting trees, animal protection society ec I found more real friends in two years than I did in sixteen and they don't dump me if I disagree with them.