Elder wants to come for shepherding call (page 2)

chickpea

hold them at arm's length...
if they are anything like the
elduhs here, they wont ask
twice....

undercover

First of all, screen your calls. Don't answer if you don't know who it is, let the answering machine/voice mail get it. If you don't have an answering machine, get one.

But if he should get through on the phone...

I said something like this: "Thanks for the offer, but I'm in a good place right now. If I feel the need to talk or ask any questions, I'll call you..."

In the end, it's your home. You don't have to let anyone in that you don't want to.

But if you give in and allow them over...

Just let them yammer on and try to not answer any questions or involve them in debate. If you have to, lie use Theocratic Strategy and tell them what they want to hear. Also, be sure to present yourself as happy and satisfied. They're expecting to see someone who feels guilty and ashamed. Show them the opposite. You couldn't be happier or more satisified with your current situation. It will confuse them.

llbh

What are your objectives if they do come calling? What are your concerns, if any? Do you have any family that you might care about?

Do not play their games at all, however you can be coy and or ever so slightly disingenuous.

I faded quietly and it worked for me, i have a daughter who is a jw, with whom i wished to maintain a relationship.

I also survived a meeting with them too, and i knew that they were trying to df me, it was very easy to dodge their predictable line of reasoning.

Regards David

2pink

my objective for this meeting is to make them happy so they will go away and not come back for a while. i have no desire for drama at this point (or ever really) because i have not told my family yet.

however, i do want to have the meeting held by agreeing to an appt with them. i do not want them just "dropping by" someday as i have a really pretty christmas wreath i am going to hang on my front door in december. LOL!

White Dove

Personally, I'd make a trip to the store and stay there long enough for them to finally be gone, but that's me. I won't meet with them if my life depended on it, and it doesn't even if they say it does. Your situation is yours and no one is the same.

inbetween

just to set things strait: most likely its not a witch hunt, it may even be sincere concern.

however, maybe the elder is the type, that feels uncomfortable doing sheperding calls (many do), but he feels he must do the duty.

so help him out, by following the advice of the other posters, thanking him for the concern, but atm you are not able to receive him.

you may do it a few times, then he will give up, in a way even satisfied, because he thinks, he tried as much as he can.

then he has an excuse to himself (or other elders or CO).

WTWizard

Blow it off. Make sure that every time they suggest a time for a meeting, you have something to do that time. If they set up the meeting without your approval, blow it off. If they come to your place at the given time, prepare to look busy (even if you are only doing your "sun worship" shopping). And, if they try to force you to meet, that might be what "stumbles" you.

Elder wants to come for shepherding call

chickpea

undercover

llbh

2pink

White Dove

inbetween

WTWizard

darth frosty

LouBelle

slipnslidemaster

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