Ok, I was on the phone. here we go. I tried online dating... got the t shirt, I went on a total of six dates.I will detail them along with moral. I am going to be completely frank and honest
Date One. - Tom
Sent me a blurry photo, ie off a mobile phone and it was very small like 150 by 100. phoned me up, arranged to meet for an evening. - however he wanted to me to have lunch and meet sooner. - this was probably a better idea so we agreed for a lunch meeting - he was supposed to have a business that supplied beauty supplies to all the major companies. - now I dont care on the money front before I make the point. - he texted me to say his main car was in the garage, and he turned up in a 15 year old BMW - now someone whos first car is supposed to be prestige, doesnt drive a really old one as the second, - he would have a 4 by 4. anyway, he had dark hair in his photo and white in person. he said he was 39 but this was clearly a lie. he was less than immaculate which I think someone who was in his industry would be. - oh and he had a wife - he just didnt want to rock the boat until he met someone decent.. suffice it to say that I didnt want to continue to the evening date and I told him so.
Lessons... - find out if they are married, - get a photo you can see..
Date Two. - Ian
dark haired, 39, scottish. agreed to meet and have Thai. met up and he was white haired, short fat, and not a day under 55. with a gold bracelet. he stared at me and kept saying he thought i was lovely and kept trying to hold my hand. I was trying to be sweet and polite, withrawing my hands further across the table until the third time, when I snatched them away and said just dont touch me.. - it all seemed to go downhill from there.. I actually used the immortal man line, 'Ill call you'
Lessons learned - make sure you find out they arent pretending to be someone else, and when they show up and look 15 years older just leave.
Date Three - Paul
seemed quite nice in his photo. my age - a graphic designer same as me, we chatted online a bit and agreed to go and have a date at the trafford centre.. well he was a really nice fella, just a normal bloke, who had been split up about six months, wait 4, wait 2, wait 6 weeks, wait 4 weeks, wait 2 weeks, wait last week, wait yesterday, she broke my heart let me spend all day crying on your shoulder and telling you how the most beautiful girl in the whole world didnt want me.. then he bought himself loads of expensive gear, trainers, aftershave, a jacket, and then went dutch on lunch. - Itold him over lunch that he was way too raw about his ex and needed to sort it. - a few weeks later he asked if I would consider casual sex - I said if I did that I wouldnt like you any more, and as it stands I think you are a nice guy..
Lessons learned.. er not sure here couldnt have seen it coming..
Date Four - Brett
nice looking guy on photo, my age. Multimedia Teacher same as me (yes i am a design tutor so Im both) we met up for drinks in Manchester. I think Brett was my favourite, although he had his mouth closed in his pics and when we met he had the worst teeth I had ever seen. Ok so this is fixable, but the whole conversation was about how he had been stamped on how he was scared of needles, rollercoasters, the dentist, pain, everything else.. - still we had a pleasant time - but I had to tell him after I didnt want to pursue it.
Lessons learned - open mouth please :)
Date Five, Justin
ok this is the worst and most embarrassing. - my age, aussie, we met up he seemed great. we got on like a house on fire all night, and drank too much. - he also had a DFd sister which was quite a coincidence, I dont know how it came up.. like a nut I invited him back to mine, and came in and said yea i could see myself here your house is lovely (warning bell) after anothetr bottle of wine the inevitable happened. it was disaster sex. and guys I may have to apologise in advance if you think I am superficial, but he had the smallest penis I have ever seen, and didnt really know what to do with it, - the name 'Just-in was so appropriate.. i woke up at 7 and fled the bed. said come back to bed, i said im busy I have to clean (cleanse cleanse cleanse lol) I kicked him out around 8 and he just kept texting and calling. he thought that it was now a relationship and he was filling my calendar... I said to him later that day that it was a huge mistake and that it had thrust an aquiantance forward into a place I didnt want to be yet, and I felt I just didnt want to pursue anything. boy did that open a can of worms. it was 4 weeks of texts calls,which afrer ay 2 I told him I would not respond to at all. it was a cycle of 'we could have been great' to 'you didnt give me a chance' to 'your an ignorant person' I just deleted deleted deleted. - now that one put me off completely.
Lessons learned : for gods sakes dont get drunk.
Date Six, Tim.
phoned me. - seven hours on the phone. I was not happy. this one was just so bloody persistent I decided to just go have a drink with him so I could tell him ok we have met face to face now and I dont want to pursue it. - but I also thought - keep an open mind, give him a chance. - he was seven feet tall, but morbidly obese. Im sorry I like tall, I dont mind big, but he just looked like he spent all his days swilling kegs of beer.
he was so unbelievably full of himself. think it was to do with the size. - but he kept asking what I thought of his looks (to be honest I didnt want to be honest - I wasnt attracted to him at all, and I was out of his league - Im not overly vain but beauty and the beast lol) - he sat down and said oh yea I saw you checking me out at the bar.. I said I wasnt. (I was actually staring in horror at the gut hanging out below the t-shirt)
I had offered him the spare room - he said are you going to come and kiss me goodnight? I said no im good and shiut my door and went to sleep. ...
the next day he was like you little minx playing hard to get. - I told him I didnt want to pursue a relationship. he just kept repeating, have a drink with me have a drink with me have a drink with me..then he started to tell me how he wanted to lick me from my..(I put my hand up and said stop, dont talk to me like that you have crossed a line) I felt sick.
he told me his psychic had predicted all the things I would say and he knew I was the one. - I said do you realise the amount of pressure that places on me? ps your psychic is wrong. - finally got rid of the over enthusiastic oddball later in the day and he kept phoning are you gonna cook for me.. etc etc.. I kept telling him there was no chance we would be together, and that I was only interested in knowing him on a friendly level.. but it was soon apparent after the phone calls and the fact that he kept getting pervy that he only had romantic intentions and so it was best not to meet at all. .
after making this clear over and over, his tack changed - he said he had some terrible family trouble and would have to put 'the relationship' on hold for a while.. i was bemused but didnt know how to get rid of him, he was like a bad penny. that weekend his facebook said he was in runcorn and he thought he had met 'the one' ie someone different (oh my god) the worm turned..you have no idea how much stress he caused me, because i was trying not to just use the F word. - and i called him, he didnt answer, so I just took him off facebook and told him he was a despicable human being and did he have any idea how creepy he had allowed himself to get. after a fortnight of exhaustingly telling him I wasnt interested and it was never gonna happen, he tried to let me down gently because he met someone else lol.. it was like he had two seperate realities.. the one in his head and the actual one.
Lessons learned. just dont internet date. the end. oh and learn to be more agressive. just tell em to F off.
Summary...
i learned its a waste of space for me. most men dont want to get to know you in an online capacity - they want to meet up immediately - to see if there is 'chemistry' but there wont be because its a total stranger and you have no connection. - if you meet someone off a dating site, and you are tentative, they might see it as the start of a relationship when you dont.. - personally I only feel for people after a lot of talking and intersting discussion and they have to be on a level and you have to see someone a lot of times before you get that - and sadly with someone you meet online you just dont get chance to do that so it rarely gets past a first date.
plus im sick of men saying 'why are you on a site like this, a girl like you doesnt need to be' which indicates that the men on these sites are substandard goods anyway..
thoughts please :D