chaperones

by rockmehardplace 19 Replies latest jw friends

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  undercover

  I'am going to risk have stones thrown at me here for saying this, but I have to be honest... I do feel that for teenagers (14-17), having a chaperone, or going on group dates is not such a bad thing... It does give young adults a safer environment to get to know the person they are dating as well as helping to prevent teen pregnancy... It's like a safe practise run before they are old enough (legal age) to 'go out alone' on a date that could lead to physical activities....

  No stones here. Chaperones for teens is fine. Group dating (haha, I misspelled 'group' as 'grope' Freudian slip but I caught it) is a good idea for younger people. I went on a few group dates trying to get to know girls I liked and realized I didn't want to be alone with them afterall.

  But the WT "rules" on chaperones is different than just protecting young people from their hormones.

  The Society counsels against dating unless you're planning on marraige. So the argument for chaperones for teens is a moot point. Teens shouldn't be planning on marriage therefore they don't need to date.

  The "rules" of chaperoning apply to all dubs that are dating, no matter the age. So if a 27 year old is dating a 24 year old, they are still supposed to act as if they were 16 year olds on a date. If a 50 year old is dating a 47 year old, the same rules apply.

  The WT "rules" of chaperoning are very Victorian and out of date. But they're not quaint or traditional as the old Victorian ways are, they're controlling and manipulative. It's another tool the Society uses to control the thoughts and actions of their followers.
• 

  babygirl30

  My parents were anal about 'dating' and they believed that even MEETING at a public place was inappropriate and showed a lack of respect for the WBTS's direction!! I would make plans with a guy to meet him at a restaurant and that was considered 'bad' in their eyes. They were so nutty that they even went to the elders ON ME - claiming I was being too independent and was ignoring Bible principles. UGH!!! I got a 'speech' about respecting my parents (mind you I did not live at home), how it's a 'protection' to have a chaperone, and that making a habit of meeting in public is NOT good either because it looks a certain way (whatever).

  Even when I did live at home and would be on the phone with a boyfriend at night, my parents would QUESTION what we were talking about...becuase they assumed that talking late night = phone sex! Apparently after the 9pm it's officially 'booty hour' and all calls get dirty.

  These are the same 2 people that 'entertained' my knocked up baptized sister and her 'non JW' baby-daddy for a weekend! -hahahahaha
• 

  llbh

  I know at this very moment of 40y old dating a guy about 45, they are chaperoned by members of my family, this is insane on so many levels.

  David
• 

  VIII

  Chaparones are ridiculous. Especially for teens. Believe me, I know.

  I was the chaparone. I was the younger sibling and got put in the back seat and told, in no uncertain terms that if my older sister did *anything*, I was to report back to our Mother immediately.

  My sister, older and meaner, told me in no uncertain terms that she would beat the s&it out of me if I told about anything that I witnessed. And, everytime we saw what she or her boyfriends thought was another car load of young people they would order me down.

  "Head down, you fool!! They'll see you. They'll know you're with us you loser."

  Making someone else go along was awful.

  My sister recently brought it up, decades later. It still eats at her. She is still angry about it. She believes it was my fault our Mother forced me along on her JW dates. (When my sis dated worldly guys, my Mom let her go alone. No chaparone necessary. It was all a sham for the other JW families to feel better.)

  So, teenagers will find a way. Don't kid yourselfs that having another person around is going to stop them from doing what nature is calling out. I was there. I saw a lot of it. It was ugly.
• 

  Finally-Free

  In 1921 my grandparents went to a village barn dance in Yugoslavia with chaperones. My grandmother was 17, he was 19. During the evening they snuck out to have sex in the cornfield. She got pregnant so they got married.

  If teenagers really want to have sex they'll find a way.

  W
• 

  zombie dub

  get a hot chaperone and you can have a sneaky threesome
• 

  creativhoney

  Finally Free.. Scandalous!!!
• 

  rockmehardplace

  lancelink, that particular trip we saw the rolling stones.

  i remember another time while we were dating also that my soon to be wife and was at our new apartment that we were going to move into. i did not know she was going to be there and i wanted to stop by and drop off some clothes. we were about 4 days out from the wedding. i stopped in and she was there and we never thought anything of it. a jw that lived in the same apartment building at the time told the elders they saw both our cars there and that they knew we were alone in the apartment. they figured only a couple days out, they were not going to make trouble for us. The jw who "told" on us was always in everyone else's business and the elders always took this one with a grain of salt.
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  straightshooter

  Yet I remember the days when I would take a sister out in rural field service with no problem. Some of these sisters were elders' daughters. But that was different because I was in God's service and not dating them.
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  finallysomepride

  I remember a few years ago a brother in his 40s (never married) dating a younger sister, they had to have a chaperone, his uncle went with them, now he only had a truck to go out in & could only seat 1 passenger in the cab, yep his uncle sat in the cab, his girl friend had to sit in the back of the truck on a poorly secured lounge suite. what a dumb ars, he was an erlder.