The fine art of refusing a Shepherding Call

by Open mind 24 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  babygirl30

  "How long will you roll around in your vomit?"

  Are u kidding me?????? Oh my God - I would've gone OFF on that man. THAT is beyond disgusting. I am sorry you were treated that way, seriously. NOBODY should feel they have the 'right' to talk to anyone like that (especially not someone you are supposed to be helping and encouraging).

  I had a similar experience in a shepherding call with an elder and a CO. The elder is a nitwit...all jokes aside...dude is REALLY 'off' mentally and so him even trying to speak to me on MY level is never ever gonna happen. The CO is hard-nosed and very arrogant! So these 2 come to my house (unexpectedly might I add). The elder says that he's only seen me at the mtg once in a few mos and that he and the CO just wanted to pop by and check up on me. The FIRST thing out the CO's mouth was "when was the last time you committed a sin?" He caught me off guard and then proceeded to tell me that because of my special circumstances (the fact that I had been abused by my ex) he felt it necessary to visit me and encourage me. AS I told him about my anger about what my ex did to me and how I was DF'd but NOTHING happened to him , his exact words were "You shouldn't be concerned with what happens to your ex - you should be concerned with forming a stronger relationship with Jehovah and you need to do some research on humility. Besides, you should be angry with YOURSELF for getting involved with him (my ex) and not following the societies 'directions' in dating." Needless to say, that was the DAY I decided never to go back to a mtg EVER!!
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  Meeting Junkie No More

  "Yeah, you can come over, but I'm down with the H1N1 virus. *cough* What time?"

  That was hysterical!
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  Open mind

  Sorry I wasn't able to baby-sit this thread as well as I would have liked. Thanks for all the responses.

  Blondie:

  Oh, this is not a good time. Too bad you didn't show good manners and call first. I'll let you know when it is a good time.

  Excellent! I'll try to remember that one. Also, I think it was on a similar thread that Jim from TX said to make sure to learn how to use the peephole. If I do open the door, I think body language will also help. I'll only open it a little or, alternately, I'll step out onto the porch so I'm free to speak briefly, but can then end it by walking inside.

  OTWO:

  I REALLY like the idea you presented. "What? Have we done something wrong?"

  Then, if they really are doing an investigation for a possible JC, they'll have to ante up. If not, I'll just politely decline.

  steve2:

  Good idea, but not for us. As a MS and then Elder, you're not supposed to get Shepherding Calls.

  chickpea:

  if all they have to say is read the happy family book, no thanks"

  LMAO! "Happy Family Book". Sounds like a menu item in a Chinese Restaurant.

  I have a feeling I might follow BSOM's example. I'll allow one shepherding call if I think everyone is mentally/emotionally up for it. I also might just have one of our kids do a no show and just say that I'll pass along the information to him/her.

  I've got to run but, thanks to everyone else for sharing your experiences and ideas.

  om
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  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  No great advice OM, just sharing a story. Former congregation, a sister consistently dodged shepherding calls with every excuse in the book. That was no small feat since the brother keeping track of shepherding was a real nazi. After a few years of this, what is her complaint to the CO? "I've been here 4 years and haven't had a single shepherding call."

  Frankly, some of the publishers in the cult were so bizarre, I think everydubby hoped that they would fade.
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  Finally-Free

  Never give them the opportunity to plan their strategy against you. Otherwise they come to your home with an agends, prepared with scriptures, watchtower articles, lines of reasoning, etc. If you allow them time to prepare then they'll control the conversation. If they approach you at the hall just say, "You're here, I'm here. We talk now or not at all". I would not allow it to take place in my home. I would never allow someone into my home knowing it's their intent to attack me. There's nothing they have to say to you that can't be said in the kingdom hall.

  W