How do I help my kids not buy into the JW thing?

by Judc 35 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  nelly136

  maybe you should just go on an unexpected/unscheduled couple of meetings one week to see exactly what is expected of your children, how theyre expected to sit still for the duration and what happens if they dont.

  then you'll get an idea of what youre up against and whats been drummed into them,

  maybe treat yourself to the steven hassan book on combatting mind control, cos any chance in routine if you've never complained before will probably send your missus into some sort of defensive or attack reaction.
• 

  BluesBrother

  Same as Cantleave.. My Dad never accepted the J W faith, but he passively let us be brought up within it by my Mum. Fifty years it took for me to see the reality !

  Dada..If you are able to hear this...."Why did you not stop us from doing what you must have seen was wrong?"
• 

  Awen

  Go to a few meetings, especially the Sunday meetings, see how the other parents treat their children who cannot sit still. They usually take them in the back and beat the crap out of them and this meets with approval by the Watchtower Society (WTS). Notice how in the Watchtower study people simply repeat what is in the paragraph when answering questions and they may cite the scriptures that are cited in the magazines. No free thought allowed here, no quoting of scriptures not already cited by the WTS as they may not quite agree with the thought being expressed in the magazine or they may in fact completely contradict it. If you are approached and asked if you want a Bible study, DO NOT ACCEPT IT, because if you do, the Elders will start interfering in your family's life, telling you how to be a "proper" husband if you want God's approval. They will start dropping by unexpectedly and "checking in on you" which is in reality a fishing expedition to see if you have nibbled at their WTS bait or are on the "hook" yet and can be reeled in.

  Remind your wife that your are the parent of YOUR children too and YOU have a right, GIVEN BY GOD, to train them the way you see fit. Make sure you exercise that right. Remind her that according to JW's, wives are to be in submission to their husbands. Unfortunately, in recent years the WTS has put out information that tells wives with unbelieving husbands that they can and should ignore whatever the husband says if it endangers the child's "spiritual welfare". This will cause conflicts obviously. Expect it, prepare for it.

  Spend as much time with your children away from WTS stuff, encourage them to be open with you. Never denegrate your wife or her beliefs, simply let them decide. They may decide in favor of JW's or they may not. At least give them the choice. It's all anyone of us can do. If you try to force it, they could rebel against you and the Witnesses in the congregation with support their actions. There are far many more witnesses than there are of you. You're outnumbered, but you can prevail. It takes time, patience and above all Love.
• 

  yknot

  You could still pull the 'headship' card..... (Jehovah is the over Christ, Christ over Man, Man over wife, wife over children --)

  You could insist as her husband and their father that the kiddos are involved in activities....that is your right as 'head of household', as a 'good' and submissive wife she cannot refuse you since it is within your parenting rights too. In fact my husband "" bans"" us from full WT attendance every other year.....due to our sharing Kingdom Hall schedule conflicting with his churches worship schedule......so far the Elders haven't questioned his "" authority"" to do so either and I have been commended by our last CO for 'standing firm' under 'trying circumstances' of my reduced attendance and having to accompany him to his church...... you see I am not a member of his church just an 'observer' officially.

  You could even teach them your religious POV too......

  You should start reading the WT material they are being exposed too so that you can give balanced commentary to steal away the WTS's thunder.

  The Elders post in advance on the information board the Sunday Public Talks they are going to be giving and you can read over the outline in order to prepare you children for some of what will be said during the PT too.

  Your best bet is to present your case using bible scriptures and WT publication supporting you as 'head' and her needing to be submissive to your wishes in areas that are not a direct violate the Bible... ie she can help you decorate for Xmas and even sit by as the kiddos open presents but she cannot express 'merry Xmas' herself... her actions must be on the basis of your orders.

  Your wife should already have the WT-CD which has loads of WT publications that you can search prett easily for support and knowledge.....

  However if you can't access it yourself you can always download a copy from here:

  http://watchtowerlibrary.blogspot.com/2009/10/watchtower-library-2008-english.html

  Ask your children questions that make them think...... like what does the Apostles teach to the early congregation about Jesus? How does this differ from what the WT has taught in the past and what they teach now?

  There are tons of resourses on the internet for gaining access to older publications (here a few below)

  http://www.a2z.org/wtarchive/archive.htm

  http://www.archive.org/details/WatchTowerBibleandTractSocietyofPennsylvaniaWatchTowerpubs_0
• 

  Tuesday

  I think it was Jay Hess who came up with a reason that no JW could argue with regarding why he wasn't a JW.

  "I can't be a Jehovah's Witness because I believe the book "Angels and Women" is a demonic book. I believe the people who advertised and sold this book were bad people for doing this and most certainly not God's people. I am opposed to demonism of any kind and opposed to anyone that supports it, so if the Watchtower can agree that these people who advertised and sold this book were in fact bad people and not part of God's organization then I could become a member." When they say that they most certainly would condemn such people point out "The Jehovah's Witnesses are the ones who advertised and sold this book, they believe that people who advertised and sold this book were the faithful and discreet slave at the time. So as long as they can say they aren't the faithful and discreet slave and not chosen by God to represent him in 1919 (when they were advertising and selling this book) then we should be good."

  Honestly I don't think that's going to work, I love the logic behind it though. You're probably going to have to paint with a broader brush on it. You could look up history and let them read facts about previous time periods and how they're much worse than today to dispell that they're in the last days.

  I have a youtube channel as well that might be of some help to give you an idea on what to hit on and how www.youtube.com/timkilgore I made my channel for a young child of mine.
• 

  VoidEater

  Encourage them to read.

  Read about every religion they can, show them how they all believe differently, and they all swear they are the one and only Truth.

  Warn them that anyone who claims to have the one and only Truth are always scared babies inside, with a need to kill anything they don't like.

  Teach them tolerance.

  Have them read Steve Hassan's books on cults.

  Have them read Joseph Campbell, especially books on myths that infuse more than one religion.

  Teach them compassion as religion, kindness as religion, and to stand up for freedom of thought.
• 

  nugget

  My father was not a witness although my Mum was and he was very anxious that we would make our own decisions. As a result we were not allowed to attend evening meetings, we had to attend school assemblies and he insisted we had Christmas and Birthdays. Despite his efforts it was hard to resist the organisation and the reason is that the people at the meetings become your friends and they seem like really nice people. Peer pressure to be part of the group means that over time you want to conform and be accepted. We told my Dad at the age of 8 that we didn't want him to buy us Christmas presents any more because of the influence of our Friends at the meeting.

  The Watchtower tells you that your real friends are only found in the organisation and that worldly friends must be avoided so in order to keep your true friends you have to conform. What Children don't realise is the people are nice as long as you conform, and that friendship is conditional on obedience.

  You cannot be complacent and hope that they will make the right decision later. Encourage them to have a wide circle of friends and not restrict their friendships to the organsation. That way if they decide to walk away then they have true friends who will help them overcome the loss of half their social circle.

  Ask them often what they want to do with their life and if they express an interest in a career talk about how they can fulfil this dream and help them plan how they can achieve it. Later if they say they don't want to go to college because they want to pioneer you can remind them of their plans and encourage them to try to fulfill their dreams first as this system may end the opportunity may not always be open to them. After all if they are going to live forever there will be an abundance of chances to preach in the future.

  Even though it was uncomfortable at times to conform with my fathers wishes and take part in activities that made me squirm because they went against WT teaching, it did lay the groundwork for me to think for myself later. by the way I really love my Dad and appreciate his stand.

  I hope this helps.
• 

  nugget

  I had another thought, when they are old enough you are perfectly placed to ask the awkward questions. Ask them to explain their beliefs, if something they have been taught conflicts with known science or history question them about it. People on this site know all the awkward questions.

  You can always use the "I was surprised to read or find out ..." tack for more controversial things such as the WT becoming an NGO of the UN. Ask them what they think about it.

  Read Crisis of conscience, this is a book no witness is allowed to read but it gives fabulous insight into the organisation and will provide much to discuss. You may have to be discreet about it though.

  Best of luck
• 

  Chalam

  Hi and welcome!

  Things have snowballed out of control. You have opened the door to the WT, sure it seems benign to start with but you now have a fight on your hands. You are outnumbered and the WT is a formidable opponent not to be trifled with.

  How much more are you willing to go along with? Would you allow the WT murder your kids with their "no blood" heresy?

  Personally, I think you need to read the bible yourself, (anything but the NWT). They will be no match for the Holy Spirit

  Acts 6:9-10 (New International Version)

  9 Opposition arose, however, from members of the Synagogue of the Freedmen (as it was called)—Jews of Cyrene and Alexandria as well as the provinces of Cilicia and Asia. These men began to argue with Stephen, 10 but they could not stand up against his wisdom or the Spirit by whom he spoke.

  Blessings,

  Stephen
• 

  dgp

  I want to start my post with truth: "And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free". You have come to the right place to know that "The Truth" is but a big lie, and not only that, but the source of terrible misery for many. In my humble opinion, you have to tell your children the truth. It will shine on its own, and will prevent them from wasting their lives, and, just as a witness is impossible to convince when on "defense mode", your children won't be converted no matter how hard anyone tries.

  I am an unbeliever, worldly, whatever. So I am on your side of the fence.

  I think you should try to send messages to Gary Neal, Greenie and Confuzzled. They are all "worldlies" like me. Gary Neal is married and has a daughter, and therefore he may have one thing or two to share with you, and you with him. Gary has a channel on You Tube, too.

  You need to be careful because your wife, your children's mother, is a good woman with good morals. She is doing what her conscience tells her she should do. She is not taking the children to the Kingdom Hall because she believes they will be damaged. Try to tell the truth about her, too. She's a great woman, only a mistaken one.

  I suggest that you read a lot, in this forum, and in Free Minds and JWFacts. You can find those with Google (I don't remember the web links). Depending on how you think your wife would take it, you could get "Crisis of Conscience" and "In Search of Christian Freedom", by Ray Franz, and "Combatting Cult Mind Control" and "Releasing the Bonds" by Steven Hassan. Read them, and you will have some more ideas about how to fight this. Also, your wife might be tempted to read them, and might just be helped to leave The Lie.

  Be patient, and read, read, and read. Be very careful what you do.

  I am of the opinion that, if the general public knew how witnesses look down on "worldlies", many people would never join the society. I guess your children wouldn't, either.

  Make sure you help your children see the truth and stay free.