Put them in sports it helps them meet kids outside the KH and there are many opportunities for team parties. Your kids will soon see that all kids are good not just the ones at the KH and in fact they are much less judgmental. They most likely will go along with your wife and enjoy it as young ones but once they hit the teenage years they will be super glad they have a Dad that will let them be themselves I have yet to see a teenager happy to be at the KH and out on service instead of at the park playing soccer or hanging out with the friends.
How do I help my kids not buy into the JW thing?
by Judc 35 Replies latest jw friends
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jamiebowers
Because of the doctor recommended sleep requirement for children from toddler to teen years, nobody should allow their kids out past 9 p.m. on a school night, so that should eliminate the night time meeting with good reason.
I'm not a born in, and thankfully, I never raised kids in the cult. But in the last few years I have reached out to people either on the forums, You Tube and personal recommendations who are either on their way out or have da'd or been df'd. I cannot begin to tell you the problems that this cult has caused. I've spent countless hours on the phone with young people who have already attempted or are contemplating suicide, because they believe they'll be killed at Armageddon or simply aren't good enough to exist.
So many of them have problems forming relationships and feel guilty about their sexuality. This cult takes a tragic toll.
Start teaching your kids critical thinking skills, prove to them everyday that they will have your love unconditionally, and give them the opportunity to live normal lives.
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jwfacts
It is good to help your children learn how to think and reason in order to distinguish false lines of reasoning. This will help not only see through Watchtower falsehood, but also political speeches and marketing campaigns. An example of Watchtower rhetorical fallacies is at http://www.jwfacts.com/watchtower/rhetorical-fallacy.php.
Try to get them involved with school friends. One of the big fears the Watchtower instills is that worldly people are unhappy and unloving and that if they do not go to meetings they will be lonely. Community is one of the benefits of religion, so this needs to be filled elsewhere if your children are going to be able to leave in the future.
Try to learn reasons why the Watchtower is not teaching truth. That way you will be able to get respect from your children that you have made a conscious decision not to be involved. Otherwise the meetings will teach them to think you don't go because you want to do bad things, not that you have actually reasoned on the situation and can articulate why it is not truth.
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greenie
Thanks for the shout-out, DGP! We really should create a "Worldlies' Worldview" section or something. The life and times of non, never-were-or-would-be-witnesses and their witness mates, relatives, etc. I think our experiences are pretty unique.
Judc, this is a critical question for me, too, and I hope we can keep the conversation going. It's great to hear from non-JWs with kids, from ex-JWs who had non-JW parents, etc. We can help each other by dicussions, I think.
That said, I don't think I have any advice yet as our child is still very young. I do think you should read up and learn as much as possible because their doctrine is very ingrained from a young age and really hard to shake off. I saw a baby in a stroller going door to door the other day, for goodness sake. You need to teach them. And for me, I'm also never letting my child read their "kids" books. I think GaryNeal started another thread about it. I'll see if I can hunt it down.
Also, of course, talk to your wife if you can. She married you for a reason, right?
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Aussie Oz
PLEASE be careful. As soon as it is detected that you are providing any alternate veiw of the world or religion etc, it may spell trouble.
My ex has waged a campaign for over 10 years to keep the kids away from me as much as possible. Honestly i swear she sees it as theocratic warfare, a term they like that justifies all manipulations including keeping your (read satan) influence at a minimum. Funny thing is, i have never ever proposed an alternative to them, Finaly-free is right, you will be, if not already are, seen as a tool of satan. Many in the congregation will no doubt veiw your children as 'fatherless boys' a term i found totally offensive.
Unless you and your wife have a real good level of comunication and goals on raising the children it wont be easy. I really dont like to suggest it, but do some research on the attitude of the organiation to you, the unbeliving father in the booklet they produce called 'preparing for child custodycases'. Now i am not suggesting you are going to get to that point but forwarned is forarmed.
my battle has escalated to legal actions and it aint fun. And i havent even tried to stop them yet! geez!
i wish you well
Oz
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WTWizard
One thing you could do is to make them a Christmas season they will never forget. Decorate the place to the hilt, and get the children involved as much as they can (as the father, you have that prerogative, and there isn't a damn thing the mother can do without blowing the headship issue). Let the children participate in crafts that have to do with Christmas, and help them participate to the extent they possibly can in getting and giving gifts. You may or may not wish to take them to regular church, just so they can see what it really is about.
After Christmas, you tell them that the witlesses think of all this as being evil. After all the fun they had, they are going to learn that the witlesses would not allow it. Rather, they would rather be at their regular boasting sessions and wasting the time in field circus or visiting the a$$embly hell on December 25. There will be no Christmas tree, no pretty ornaments, no parties of any kind, no nothing.
When it gets to be their birthdays, go to the hilt on those as well. I mean the cake, the ice cream, decorating the place, helping them participate in their own and each other's birthdays as well. Give them plenty of games and as much fun as you can afford (the presents should also be what they really want, as much as you can afford and as long as they are not being ridiculous). The object is to make this day as much fun as possible, so they are not going to soon forget it.
Again, afterwards, you bring up that the witlesses condemn such fun. Their stupid excuse is that "There were only two birthdays celebrated in the Bible, and each time a servant of God got his head cut off and handed to the birthday person on a platter." Now, mention that, at no time was anyone's head cut off and handed to the birthday child--it was simply fun.
After enough of that, the children are going to come to see the witlesses as being killjoys. They cannot have any fun as witlesses--and the money that went on holidays, birthdays, and vacations instead went into boasting sessions, field circus, suit dry cleanings, McDonalds (for lunch), and paraphenalia. The time is for field circus--no time to play during Christmas recess or summer vacation, no real vacations (just the Grand Boasting Session), and no real fun. It might also pay to inform the children that, as witlesses, they are going to have to not salute the flag, play with other children while in recess, go on class trips (especially the ones that include spending one or more nights away from home), do school sports of any kind, or plan for college.
The hope is, they will be able to see the difference. The witless religion will be seen as a turnoff. And, if you really want to show them that the witlesses aren't even teaching the Bible, go ahead and get them a real Bible and take them to a couple of regular church sessions. The object here would be to give them a basic knowledge of the Bible so they will not fall into a scam, not to force them into being real Christians or coerce them into behaving themselves in the name of God.