Howdy, Six:
You've gotten some good advice from various posters. Given what you told the elders, what happens from hereon is anyone's guess. What you do depends mainly on what relationship you want to maintain with other JWs, like in your family or your circle of friends.
I completely agree with JerryTX, that it's probably a bad deal to DA yourself or allow the elders to claim that you did, or even DF you. Unless you get reinstated or the WTS makes some big changes, you'll never have a normal relationship with loved ones.
Msil's advice is good, too. You want to make clear, in whatever way you want, that you're no threat to local JWs. Elders are mainly concerned with what you do in their home turf, and if they hassle you, you need to make clear that you have no intention of discussing religion with any JW. You need to make them believe this.
If this fails and the elders come a'callin', then you need to take stronger action. Teejay presented one letter that can work; I have on file a stronger letter that has been demonstrated to work. You'll have to get a lawyer involved, no matter what. The idea is to convince the local elders that it would be a lot more painful for them personally to mess with you than to leave you alone. These days, if a lawyer gets involved, the elders are supposed to immediately get in touch with Watchtower Legal, which normally advises the elders to drop it, unless the person is actively doing something to create unrest in the local JW community. As long as you keep things to yourself, or at most to your very closest relatives (and you'd damn well be sure of them!), you'll probably be safe.
Do keep in mind that a lot of what happens is the luck of the draw. Sometimes an elder will decide to go on a hunt and bump you out just for spite. Not much you can do about that. But if that happens, and local elders actually try to DF you or claim that you DA'd yourself, you can appeal the proceeding and get your lawyer involved. The Society absolutely does not want lawyers involved in internal judicial matters, since it exposes the thoroughly unethical way in which proceedings are conducted. You can also threaten to take your case public. The Society is also very much afraid of adverse publicity, so if you don't present a big threat to local JWs, they have little incentive to uphold a DF'ing on appeal -- as long as your lawyer is also involved. The threat of a legal case, where internal proceedings might be exposed to a court, and to the court of public opinion, is a powerful weapon against dumb elders.
When elders came a'callin' on me some years ago after learning that I was going to remarry "unscripturally", I used some of the above methods. I refused to talk to two elders at a time, but later got one of them on the phone and finally told him that I would not tolerate anything from them that might damage my good name in the community. They were not to discuss my status or lack thereof as a JW with anyone, publicly or privately. If they violated my demand, I would use all legal means to protect my good name. If they left me alone, I would leave them alone. I've never heard a word since.
AlanF
