Tiger Woods Seriously Injured In Car Crash! (page 6)

Marvin Shilmer

Tiger's deal with the Devil works like this:

1. I get to make loads of money selling my image far and wide.

2. The public gets to gawk at and about him.

In today's society, you can't have one without the other. Want privacy? Don't do a deal with the Devil. Want Tiger-money? Do the deal; learn to live with it, and stop moaning about it. Embrace the horror.

I can't get the image out of my head of a stomping mad cheetah banging away at a Cadillac SUV all the way down her driveway, with her beloved tiger at the wheel. I also can't get other images of banging out of my head. Talk about animals! Lots of entertainment value for everyone!

yknot

"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned,"

Wm Congreve, The Mourning Bride

Gregor

Actually, Tiger is the Cheetah.

donny

It's amazing how fast the jokes are comin on this incident.

1. Headline: Wife tales Iron to Woods

2. Police did not investigate the accident any further after "Driving Forensics" explained it completely. Apparently the Black half of Tiger bought the Cadillac Escalade but the Asian half was driving.

3. What do Tiger Woods and a baby seal have in common?
Both are getting clubbed by a Scandanavian.

4. Apparently 18 holes were not enough for Mr. Woods.

5. A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"

"Yeah."

"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."

The husband and wife then make passionate love.

When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

"What are you doing?" asks the wife.

The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.

When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. "Now what are you doing?" she asks.

The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it again."

The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.

When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"

"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn hole."

Marvin Shilmer

I just lost my coffee on the puter screen lauphing my ass off.

yknot

Donny...

donny

And they keep coming!

* Tiger's new movie is out: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.

* Apparently the police asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him. She said "I don't know exactly... but put me down for a 5."

* Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole-in-one.

* Elin's excuse? She had to play a bad lie.

* What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

* What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.

* Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.

* Why did Tiger leave the house so early? He has a 2:30 tree time.

* What do a Cadillac SUV and a Nike golf ball have in common? Tiger Woods can drive them both into the trees.

* Tiger is the first golfer to hit a water hazard and then a tree in the same drive!

* Why did elin woods use a 9 iron to smash the caddilac's rear window? because she sliced the driver.

* I heard Tiger's wife is now being sponsored by a golf club manufacturer. The tag line: Get the club that beats Tiger!

* What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards

* Apparently, Tiger admitted this crash was the closest shave he’s ever had. So Gillette has dropped his contract

minimus

Donny

snowbird

http://www.esquire.com/the-side/opinion/tiger-woods-accident-updates-legacy-120109?src=syn&dom=yah_buzz&mag=esq

I remember reading the Esquire article in 1997, and recoiling at Tiger's offensive jokes.

I couldn't believe that of him.

Sylvia

Mary

Thank god the media is all over this story and will apparently continue to be for weeks and weeks to come. Tiger Woods is, after all, the first male in history to have an extra-marital affair.

Tiger Woods Seriously Injured In Car Crash!

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