by vivalavida 26 Replies latest jw experiences
I like the idea of just telling our kids the truth
I tried that with my daughter Lisa.
Let your kid be brought up in a cult for all of her life and then blurt out, "Sorry Darlin', I just realised you've been brought up in a cult and everything they told you about Apostates is bullshit!" Yeah, that'll work!
Thanks for the encouraging report Vivalavida!
That is great news!
Blacksheep, thanks for the book suggestion. the reviews look good. I am going ot get it.
You have got to teach that habit of critical and open thinking, especially in the teenage years. If done correctly, there is the odds that a child will stay in the cult, or get caught up in one are very slim. Good luck!!
The Oracle
I tried that with my daughter Lisa.
Let your kid be brought up in a cult for all of her life and then blurt out, "Sorry Darlin', I just realised you've been brought up in a cult and everything they told you about Apostates is bullshit!" Yeah, that'll work!
GAWD..are you yelling at me.
Maybe it won't work if you blurt it all out at once. But little by little..maybe.
((((blacksheep))))
I left when my kids were much younger. My sister came and picked my daughter up for awhile. Took her to the meetings, assemblys. I took her to the rollerrink, let her have slumber parties. My sister finally said she couldn't compete with me and the worldly influence...., and if I wanted her to keep taking my daughter to the meetings, I would have to give her custody. ....yeah right!!! I said...get in the car kids, we're goin' home.
My daughter never went to another meeting.
She did however...one summer when visiting her non-JW grandmother, got baptized at their Baptist Church. She was about 11, I asked her why and she said...because I knew there would be presents afterwards.
lisa
I think you're right because that's the time when they start anyway to question stuff. They question their parents authority, or any authority for that matter. It's just a matter of channeling it the right way. Providing guidance and the right tools. That's where books like De Bono's come into the picture.
VLV
That's interesting Lisa what you mention as the reason for her to get baptized. In the case of my son, being already 15 at the time was the desire to have privileges like passing the microphone. Other young kids who were already baptized were having the 'privileges', so he wanted too and got baptized. Sad, isn't it?
good for you and it is ridiculous. the elders say that because they know they will lose control of him. - can't go to a party with worldly family? Ive never heard anything like it.
Thanks for the book link
Sounds interesting
Hang in there Viva
Well, what really got to them was that it came out that he came to me for permission in 'disobedience' to his mother. That's when they told him, he should stop all contact with me.
Of course, after that, obviously they have their eyes on him now, and have talked to him because he has a 'worldly' girlfriend (his first real girlfriend btw). So reports are that he was seen with her downtown, and pictures of him and the girl together were seen on that social network for school kids.
The good thing though, is that in both occasions, when told to shun me and when told to stop seeing the girl, he politely but firmly refused to do it. Of course, he's just 16 and i'm pretty sure this kind of pressure on him is just starting. Therefore it is very important to me to let him know and show him with facts that the world doesn't end if the elders are not happy with him. Of course, anything I do, is tried to be undone by the mother.
My goal is to give him as much tools as possible, the right kind of tools, and then let him make his decision. Of course, a 16 year old not necessarily can make the best decisions, but that's were my help is offered to him.
Hopefully it will all work out...
VLV
...he was approached by the elders who, among other things, told him DO NOT TALK TO YOUR DAD, it is not wise and showed him a couple of Bible texts.
Well, it seems that the elders are increasing the pressure on him, since he's now a baptized male...
Therefore it is very important to me to let him know and show him with facts that the world doesn't end if the elders are not happy with him. Of course, anything I do, is tried to be undone by the mother.
Baptized or not, your son is still a minor. If I were you, I'd go to court to set up visitation and have it be made clear that your ex-wife and the elders are forbidden to encourage your son to shun you.
Well, the thing is that he was again called by the elders because of this. They even had pictures of him and the girl in a social network similar to Facebook but only for school kids that is very popular in germany.
Who do they think they are? Stasi? Do they have informants prowling around for them and compiling files on people?
