Okay, I am in a bit of a dilemma. Since I believe in honesty between marriage mates, I have been telling my wife about this board and my participation on it. I feel it is only right so that she won't feel like I have anything to hide. Well, she hasn't been too happy with my being here but I feel like given my situation, this is a good place for me to vent and get information on how the WTS can affect my family.
Last night, she asked me to stop coming on here out of respect for her. I thought about it and considered her feelings but I could not help but realize that my feelings were never considered in many of my 'requests' of her. Therefore, I decided that I would stop telling her about this board but at the same time not stop coming here. She got livid and demanded that I stop or else she is going to cut off the Internet service to our home. Out of respect for her, I said that I would not come on here in her presence and at nights but I did not want to stop coming here. She compared my coming here to a drug addict getting his fix.
Now, I will try to present a balanced view of things because I want balanced feedback (if that is even possible). I love and respect my wife and I want her to be happy even if it means her being in the cult. Since I cannot convince her to review the facts about the Watchtower Society, I have no choice but to support her decision in the best way that I can without getting too involved with them. I also feel that I need to educate myself as to their practices as this can in turn affect my daughter and myself. While much of the information that they publish is practical, I do know that there is a lot of propaganda in terms of forgoing college, forgoing starting a family, and overall trying to better oneself 'in this system of things.' As a Christian, I understand the need to balance service to God and bettering oneself so that you can adequately support a family. I just never saw the level of shunning of a higher education that I see within the organization. I swear every time I try to present a case for higher education to my wife and how it might actually benefit the society, and by association Jehovah, (i.e. doctors who specialize in bloodless therapies) she actually dismisses it and says that it is using ‘this system’ too much when we should be preparing for Jehovah’s new system.
But what I cannot understand is why she is so adamant about my leaving the message board? A few years ago, my wife and I went through turmoil as I was getting visitation rights to my son on the weekends and she got so jealous that it nearly ripped our marriage apart. To find comfort for her feelings, she turned to an online forum called ‘step-moms in need.’ She claims that this message board is for me what the forum called step-moms in need was for her. On a certain level, I would have to agree but her situation was totally on her. She was the one getting jealous because I had a son by another woman and she was the one having a hard time dealing with it. In a sense, I am dealing with certain losses myself and I am looking for ways to cope but my situation is not all me. I can clearly see how this religion can affect my life in a profound way even though I do not want any part of it. Not only do I come to this forum for support but I also come here for information to protect myself and my daughter. If it was all just simply jealousy and hurt feelings then I would agree that this is just my version of ‘step-moms in need.’
Another thing that bothers me about her demanding me to leave is that I never expected her to leave ‘step-moms in need’ even though I personally thoug