Wow. It's strange because even though I decided in Sept that this is a false religion, it's still a little overwhelming to read this chapter. If cult members have two identities, then where is my other identity? I don't have a before personality, I was raised in this cult.
I just read chapter 4 of Combatting Cult Mind Control and...
by doublelife 17 Replies latest jw friends
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Heaven
I don't have a before personality, I was raised in this cult.
I think for those 'born-in', they have an 'after' personality. You now have to start creating it. Which could be a lot of fun... but I think it may be quite frightening for some.
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White Dove
Then, it sounds like you are like me. I was raised in, too, and have discovered since leaving that my real personality blossomed. The mask I wore squished down doubts and guarded the "truth" like an angry dog guarding her dinner. The real me that came out after I left thinks critically and doesn't believe things told to me if they sound far fetched. The real me is not fearful of others and their opinions. I don't feel guarded against non-JW's. I'm more relaxed around many more kinds of people. I don't fear finding things out about the "truth" and do research to know for sure. There is no fear anymore of facts or of people. I guess that is what sums it up: no fear.
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Mickey mouse
Many of us have been in the same position.
Don't worry, the real you will be along soon.
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OnTheWayOut
I don't have the book here, but I think that Steve Hassan did an excellent job of describing the second personality and labeled it wrong.
Instead of the pre-cult personality, it should be the non-cult personality for those that grew up in it.The non-cult personality for a born-in is down there, buried a bit deeper. It's that desire to exert your own feelings and thoughts above what you know the cult tells you. It's that independent streak that wants to say something or do something that you know is a violation of the rules. It's the person who wonders if the cult is wrong. If you finish reading both of Hassan's books, you will see how to reach cult members with certain conversations. Those conversations reach for the non-cult personality.
You have to have a non-cult personality somewhere deep inside or else you would still believe it was "the truth." Even most who do believe that it is the truth have that non-cult person inside.
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Bonnie_Clyde
Chapter 4.....I don't have a copy of the "Combatting" book now (gave it away) but I was astounded how that chapter completely described the witnesses - yet Steven Hassan wasn't pinpointing the witnesses in that book - he didn't even realze they were a cult.
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dgp
I'm reading that book myself. I read that chapter yesterday. I agree with On The Way. Hassan should have said "non-cult personality" and "cult personality". I'm afraid his book is very much centered in rescuing converts, not so much born-ins. I am happy to read, however, that even born-ins have something non-cultic they can relate to.
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leavingwt
Chapter 4 is excellent.
To anyone reading this. . .
If you read nothing else, PLEASE read Chapter 4 of 'Combatting Cult Mind Control'. You'll be glad you did!
It's less than 10 bucks, used. Perhaps your library has a copy. Or, maybe even an Aposta-friend can loan you a copy.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0892813113/ref=dp_olp_used?ie=UTF8&condition=used
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civicsi00
If cult members have two identities, then where is my other identity?
That's the exact same question I've been pondering. But I've realized, like others pointed out, that this "hidden" personality is within you and it's up to you to nurture it. Whatever it is.
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dgp
I've been thinking about it and my experience with a born-in can be described as "two personalities", yes. One of the personalities is the good, caring, human one, the one where the person lets her heart take over and can do wonderful things. The other personality is uptight and merciless. It's difficult to believe it's the same person. I have seen both personalities fighting each other. If it gives anyone hope, may I say that my having seen the good side of her fighting the bad side is what keeps me going ,