Anyone here who left JWs, and then their spouse left later as well?

by JimmyPage 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • treadnh2o
    treadnh2o

    "The most important thing is to be mentally on the same page."

    Blondie,

    I would respectfully disagree. While I am envoius of your situation, I would argue that it is more important to respect each other and to work toward an agreement when you are not on the same page. After almost 20 years of marriage I have realized that we will not always be on the same page mentally. It just so happens that we disagree on religion.

    But then again, if we agree to disagree, aren't we on the same page?

  • blondie
    blondie

    I would say that you are mentally on the same page if you respect each other....I didn't mean to imply that meant agreeing and supporting each other's beliefs. I have known couples where one is a jw and one is a non-jw who have been successfully and happily married for 50 years because they did respect each other. But then mutual respect is a key point in any good marriage. Sorry, if I caused offense.

  • treadnh2o
    treadnh2o

    Blondie,

    Wasn't offended at all. But thanks for caring!

  • Mad Sweeney
    Mad Sweeney

    The last few comments in this thread made me lol at how the WT twists scriptures that talk about unity and getting along into meaning that everyone has to believe exactly the same thing. Being on the same page doesn't mean that at all.

  • bluesapphire
    bluesapphire

    My hubby was raised in it. I became a JW when I was 29. I was only a witness for 3 years and during that entire time I can't say I had "doubts" but there were always things that bothered me about it.

    * The blood issue

    * Only 144,000 going to heaven when there were more Christians in the 1st Century alone

    * Accepting without doubt everything printed in the magazines even when it constantly changed

    * The way people accepted everything "said from the platform" regardless of who was saying it and whether it was a "rule" or actual scripture

    * Shunning family members

    * The way the Society tauted their "fights" with governments instead of accepting persecution!!!!

    Long story short ... I happened to hear about the France issue and the way the Society was not paying their taxes in France. That bugged the living daylights out of me because over and over we are told AS INDIVIDUALS we had to "pay unto Ceasar." So I looked it up on the internet.

    From there I went to a link for AJWRB which pretty much summed up my own feelings and doubts on the blood issue.

    Then I ordered Crisis of Conscience and read it with a book cover so no one would know I was reading it. My husband would come home on the weekends from working in Vegas. We would skip meetings and service because we were so into each other after being apart all week.

    One day he got ready for a meeting on a Sunday and I didn't. He said, "Aren't you getting ready?" I said, "I'm not going to the Kingdom Hall anymore." He sat down on the couch and didn't go either. Next came the memorial. I went with him and took a different Bible. After that I said, "I'll never go to one of those again."

    We argued for many months and I made a lot of points he had never even thought of. During this time he didn't go to a single meeting either. In fact, neither of us stepped for into a KH again from that day. We moved away because we were hounded by the elders who knocked on our door EVERY SATURDAY!!!

    I was vocal about my feelings with my sister and she is the one who gossipped about me. Otherwise I would have had a successful "fade". My husband is known as an "inactive weak one who lives with an apostate". And I am known as "Jezebel".

    I did the Catholic thing for a while and still have a lot of respect for the Catholic Church. But I don't believe in everything they teach.

    We are both involved in a non-denominational and non-judgmental church that accepts gays and doesn't judge others. It is more of a social network thing for us but we are Christians.

  • bluesapphire
    bluesapphire

    PS: When I say we are "Christians" it is because we do love Jesus. We don't accept every word in the Bible though. We acknowledge that ultimately it was the Catholic Church who decided what benefited to be in the Canon and what did not. So when it comes to the New Testament, we love it and focus on it. But when it comes to the Old Testament, we see a lot of mythology and a lot of things that were not meant to be taken literally but, rather, it was a society's way of communicating and understanding their world without the benefit of the Scientific knowledge we have now.

    Finally ... after many years .... we are on the same page.

  • goldensky
    goldensky

    Dear Lovelylil2, is your letter to the elders available anywhere? I'd love to read it.

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    Thanks for the thread promo BabaYaga.

    I woke up 3 years ago and started planting seeds. Wife woke up about 2 months ago. We're beginning a slow fade, with the kids, hand-in-hand.

    om

  • lovelylil2
    lovelylil2

    gold,

    Unfortunately no because I forgot to save the file with my letter on it when my husband cleaned out the hard drive because our computer was acting up. He reset it to factory setting to try and fix it. That was a few years ago. I have a new computer now. I wish I had kept a copy, a lot of people asked me to see it.

    Basically I scripturally refuted the major doctrines of the WT including the teaching that the faithful servant is an organization appointed by Christ. I also showed that Christ did not yet return, that he is not an angel but God in the flesh, That Jesus' resurrection was bodily like the Lord said it would be, and not invisible to all but a few. And the biggest revelation to them had to do with the anointed.

    I told the elders in my letter in 2003, that the door to heaven was not closed in 1935 and that they should brace themselves for the near future when they see the number of the anointed go up, and not down. This is because the bible's parable of the late coming workers in the vineyard is not completely fulfilled yet. It is currently being fulfilled and the church of Christ is still growing.

    This was my biggest issue with them because I became anointed with the Spirit while I was still a JW but knew they would never let me partake in the organization. Nor did I want to partake in that organization because I knew they were apostate. I had a friend too who also became anointed (we call it born again). So I knew I had to get out fast, and I sped up my exit.

    Many people read my letter because I sent it out to friends. Most of them are not currently in the organization. A few have contacted me and said my letter helped open their eyes. My husband too, now has conclusive proof I am not nuts, because the number of the anointed partakers has indeed risen in the WT. And it will continue to do so. I wish I could know what the elders who read my letter are thinking now?

    Anyway, I am really sorry I do not have the original letter. But, I did keep all my scripural notes and in the years since leaving the WT, I compiled them into short essays addressing key WT doctrines and show how they are easily refuted biblically. If you are interested, I will gladly email you my essays. Some of which I post on this website from time to time as Q's come up about certain WT teachings. Just pm me your email address and I will send you what I have.

    I will gladly send them to anyone else too if they would like to read them. Peace, Lilly

  • goldensky
    goldensky

    Yes, Lovelylil2, I'd love to receive your essays if it's not too much trouble. Just click on my user's name then on Send message. Thank you very much.

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