HELLO...thanks for posting your story. I SADLY see myself in it - and I wish PEACE for you as I am just now coming to find. Raised in the truth, played the 'role' of good JW daughter (on the outside of course) and for awhile honestly BELIEVED what WBTS said and taught. Ended up engaged to a very abusive JW (emotional, verbal, and physical) and apparently people in the cong noticed how bad I was looking and that something was wrong. Well hell YEAH something was wrong...when I'm wearing turtlenecks to cover the bruises, when I gained weight out of NOWHERE, when my skin was broken out all the time, when I cried at the drop of a hat, when I missed mtgs regularly....Um...WHAT part of all of that didn't raise a red flag?? So when this man kicked my ass /tried to kill me and I finally had the strength to call off the wedding and leave this man - I find myself DF'd. At first my parents were supportive and kept associating with me regularly. Of cousre THAT lasted 9 mos until I decided to STOP goign to mtgs at all. I had a run-in with an arrogant C.O. who called himself trying to 'encourage' me AND also a bad experience with my judicial committe and how I was treated. NOT to mention that my ex's body of elders did NOTHING to him...they asked him if he did what I accused him of, he denied it, they let it go!!! (his dad is an elder in their cong also). I was made out to look crazy, deranged, and the 'trouble maker' since I was DF'd and he wasnt. Well, by the time 9 mos came around and I was STILL Df'd and STILL going to mtgs, I had had enough! Decided that things were cracked UP and that I didn't deserve what happened to me NOR did I deserve to be treated like some piece of spiritual trash by a cong of people who had done far worse then I EVER had or would do! So I quit going - and haven't looked back. YES time caught up to my ex and he eventually was DF'd, and is now running from the law last I heard (pathetic loser that he is). But as for me, I have NO desire to ever go back to JWs...and because of that choice, my 'loving parents' (being sarcastic) have made the choice to shun me. So since Sept, I haven't seen nor spoken to them at all! I would be lying if i said it doesn't hurt to have to be fake when someone inevitably asks "So how are your folks doing?"...but what else can I do - THEY made this choice - not me. Makes me angry that they choose a religion OVER their own child - despite ALL I went through with the abuse and almost losing my life. Somedays (like now around holiday time when I have time off from work) it's difficult knowing that I can't just POP on by their house or expect a call from them. Matter-a-fact, my birthday is on Mon and they usually do the whole "we're thankful Jehovah gave you to us today" and THIS year , well, I'm not expecting THAT phone call at all!!
It does get easier though...it's been 1yr and 5 mos since I was DF'd, and I am FINALLY starting to feel like 'me' - the real me. The one I always hid as a JW, the one that my parents act like they are so disgusted of. In the end, THEY are the ones that lose out because they don't know ME anymore - their own flesh and blood. THEY can be embarassed when asked "how is your daughter doing" and they have no idea...and why? Because their religion tells them to be that way. UGH!!! There is a peace in knowing that the problem isn't 'me' anymore. I HOPE you are able to find that same peace soon.