Faders, How Often Do You/Did you Want to Pull the Pin on that Grenade?

by OnTheWayOut 29 Replies latest jw friends

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  OnTheWayOut

  Many here have stopped going to the KH and many have just reduced activity to some degree. While today is not that day for me, I have had the "Screw it all" attitude every now and again and was ready to tell the WT off, call the P.O. or the C.O. or whoever, call my mother and tell her all about the "God-damned Cult" she's in and why it's just wrong.

  I think I have done that in a not-so-straightforward way with the wife and mother, but sometimes I just want to get down to saying it all.

  Do you get that way? What stopped you? I don't really have the answer for that question except that I don't blame my mother or wife for being a victim like I was a victim and letting the WTS tell Mom to shun me is like letting the WTS win.
• 

  lepermessiah

  OTWO - I appreciate all the good advice you have left for me on my various posts.

  Much like you, its my wife and immediate family.

  I would love to write a scathing, blistering, "Fat Man and Little Boy" bomb to the WTBS, but right now my family is my first concern.

  I still care about many of the people in the congregation, but I really do HATE the Society.....the organization itself is uncaring and dogmatic, like Ray F clearly showed. I think of them as Religious Nazi's - so blinded by their fervor and drunk with power, while they run rough-shod over people.

  My family wouldnt shun me since they never have done it to other family members, but it would be a strain. If I even allude to speaking against the Society, it makes them really uncomfortable. I think I could get DF'ed for being alcoholic, smoking, etc....and they would be less stressed out than if I were to go out with both guns blazing. I keep my arguments generic, without pulling that card out. I tried it once and it was a really big mess with a few family members. I smoothed it over quickly, but it showed me that the time is not right.

  I have really let go a lot of the resentment and bitterness towards the whole thing (after I just described how much I hate the society - LOL) , now I just look at it as a life-lesson (albeit a huge one that wasted a lot of time and tears) - I am too busy thinking about the end goal to abandon my plan right now. I feel really peaceful about knowing that the TRUTH is not THE TRUTH.....that makes me feel great everyday.

  Plus, like you said, I look at it like they are victims to good intentions. They want to do what is right, unfortunately they are under the influence of a wolf dressed in sheeps clothing.
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  OUTLAW

  Nothing stopped me..

  When I was done,I was done..

  And..

  I let the elders know it,in no uncertain terms..

  Never DF`d or DA`d..

  Just gone..

  .................... ...OUTLAW
• 

  WTWizard

  Mathematically, my options are to try and get disfellowshipped (a single man with no prospects for the opposite sex and nothing to gain by staying in, with people that are willing to try anything to get me back in, diminish the odds of that working). Or, I could disassociate (again, they have the option to uphold it or not uphold it. They could throw the letter in the garbage, pretend it never existed, and then start harassing me or physically drag me back into the Kingdumb Hell to be hosted and forcibly dragged back in). Or, I can do nothing and hope they waste lots of time and money arguing about who, when, and how they are going to get me back in.

  So far, the doing nothing and wasting their time has worked the best. I know that it could end at any time--tomorrow, or 10 years later, or whenever they get their act together and everything is in place. But, I know that if I disassociate (or attempt to), they view me as prime value (Value Destroyer Training School material), and with nothing to lose if the disassociation was upheld. Plus, the slimebag that dragged me into the cancer in the first place is willing to break all the rules to drag me into the cancer, this time by physical force, and forcibly keep me there.
• 

  JAFO

  my options are to try and get disfellowshipped (a single man with no prospects for the opposite sex and nothing to gain by staying in, with people that are willing to try anything to get me back in, diminish the odds of that working).

  the slimebag that dragged me into the cancer in the first place is willing to break all the rules to drag me into the cancer, this time by physical force, and forcibly keep me there.

  Tell 'em the condition for you staying in is that you want a different, (and willing) sister in your bed every night.. See how that works for you... Could work out well for you, whichever way it goes.
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  wobble

  I went through the angry stage without actually blowing it,although I have been forthright in voicing my opiniions with some,but have not been shopped so far.

  What stopped me was what has already been said,I don't want the WT to have any victory over me,and I don't want to lose the ability to speak with family still in, some of whom I may get out eventually.

  Another restraint on me is that I do not think it is wise or fair, to take away from my family that have invested the whole of their lives in it, the belief they have,however delusional it may be, the younger ones though I have hope for.

  I do often go through in my mind what I would LOVE to say to various ones, even if they discount everything I say, but I cannot do it for the above reasons. What gets to me is the Culty attitude that they have the best way of life, and they feel sorry for us !

  The day will come though, I am sure when I really will not care, and they will get it with both barrels. Maybe when my old Mum is no longer with us, she is 90 in January.

  Love

  Wobble
• 

  mindmelda

  Eh, people are entitled to believe any damn fool thing they like. I tell my children not to be deceived, but as for adult JWs, its their right to be idiots, and besides, the more you "persecute" them, the more right they think they are, and the more demonized they think you are.

  Not the right approach at all. I figure that eventually, everyone still in this stupidity will get tired of waiting for Armageddon and the thousand year reign and JWs will become another semi interesting footnote in the future study of adventist/apocalyptic religions. Something like, "This sect and the Seventh Day Adventist sect did last somewhat longer than most Adventists religions, but ultimately suffered from the same fate as smaller groups of this sort, as the promised Apocalypse and subsequent paradise did not occur, and gradually, followers became disillusioned and slowly abandoned it's more unusual teachings, and either went to more mainstream religions or abandoned religion altogether. Also, the internal corruption that inevitably overtakes groups who seclude themselves from mainstream society became a factor, leading many to leave or 'fade away' as it was called, in the latter years of the sect's duration."

  I expect to be seeing this in a book in about 10 to 20 years. LOL
• 

  xcellxior

  I want to celebrate christmas and birthdays. This year though I got a small xmas tree that can be hidden if we get an unexpected visit from the holier than thou brigade. I'd really like to just forget about it all but when you have family in the "truth" its hard because you dont want to hurt them. On the hand who are you living your life for??? I dont want to hide who I am but I don't want to hurt people either.

  I just really wish they could see outside the society bubble that they live in. For once take an objective view at their religion. I think only a shock jolt can free most from the control. I had been having doubts about the stupid blood policy for a while but it wasn't until I experienced the wonderful "shepherding" of the elders it made me realise how removed their were from Christ. The thread soon started to unwravel.

  Now I'm kind of in between. I won't close the door on my belief in God/Christ but I won't ever let a man dictate to me what I should and shouldn't believe.

  X
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  mindmelda

  I'm sure a lot of people are hiding because they don't want to alienate JW family. They use your family to hold you hostage, in a way. The only way around that is to hook up with family or friends who are outside of the organization and start making bridges to a new support system of people.
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  shopaholic

  OTWO,

  I have days like that although not nearly as many as when I first left the org. What stops me from pulling the pin and tossing the grenade is that its not effective and the labeling that comes along with such actions. One would be done before the grenade even landed. But more importantly remembering that you can show fact after fact, lie after lie, a string of false predictions and obvious misapplication of scripture and 99% of the time you've simply reinforced their faith.

  Best way to toss a grenade in my opinion? Do it by living a happy, prosperous life outside of the org and always greet a JW with a smile.