Need a Little Help - Found JW Niece on Facebook....

by Sam Whiskey 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • undercover
    undercover

    Another thing to think about since it's been several years since you've seen any of them...she may be a smart whipper snapper and be able to figure out the sham of the JW religion on her own. She may be ahead of you. And if that's the case, she'll contact you when she's ready (if she knows that you're an apostate).

    But even if she is fully indoctrinated and buying into it as much as her parents, you can't beat yourself up over it. In the end, she is your brother's child and he is ultimately responsible for how she is raised.

    What if you make contact when she's a legal adult and she has bought into the whole idea of 'hating the apostate' and tells you to leave her alone? Then you've spent all this time worrying about someone who doesn't want your help.

    It's tough, but we can't help every single person, family or not, that is caught up in this religion. We have to do what we can when we can and not worry about what we have no control over. And at this point in time, you have no control over this situation.

    disclaimer: throw all that out the window if it comes down to an emergency, like a blood transfusion. That changes everything and now a life is on the line.

  • AwSnap
    AwSnap

    I'm a facebook fanatic...I don't see anything wrong with shooting her an email via Facebook. I would say something like, "hey ______, I do not plan on contacting you again since I respect your parents wishes. So just this one time only, I want you to know that I've always cared and thought about you. You are such a bright young lady, and you deserve the best. Take care, Niece"

    ...and also, there is a huge difference with your family forbidding you to contact them, and starting a courtcase or lawsuit or restraining order. I don't know your family, so maybe they would do that. If not, I really think sending an email like the one I paraphrased will be okay

  • The Oracle
    The Oracle

    I like something like Aw Snap said. It's worth the risk. The parents are nut jobs and this child is in danger.

    Also, you don't need to wait until she is 18. I think the age is 16, but I could be wrong.

    Check with your local authorities.

    The Oracle

  • PEC
    PEC

    I think you should respect her parents wishes, just as much as they respect your wishes. Zero!

    Philip

  • The Oracle
    The Oracle

    Bingo Bango BINGO! Great point PEC. I love people that FREAKING THINK!

    The Oracle

  • Sam Whiskey
    Sam Whiskey

    Thanks again everyone, it's a "damned if you, damned if you don't" scenario. I was talking this over with my wife, and there may be one other option....our daughter (she's the same age as my Niece). Our daughter may ask to be friends on FaceBook and that may open the door.

    We'll see....I hope for the best.

    I thank everyone for their thoughts and....

    Merry Christmas to all!!

    Sam Whiskey

  • GLTirebiter
    GLTirebiter

    I must agree with the "wait until she's 18" (if not 21) viewpoint. If her father the elder finds out that you contacted his minor daughter after he told you not to, he may report you to the authorities. Remember "theocratic tact", that he sees you as an apostate, and he is likely to see this as a case of "theocratic warfare". You must be on guard, it will be your word against theirs.

    I agree with the idea of your daughter contacting her with a friend request. But leave it between them, don't involve yourself. It's better to keep your distance, and let the kids be kids.

    GLT

  • Namaste
    Namaste

    Before allowing my 15 year old on FB I would make sure I had full access to their account. I'm thinking that your brother and his wife would be the same too. There is no way she would be able to friend you.

    I feel your pain, I am always looking for my nieces and nephew on FB and hoping one day they show up and I'll find out they've rebelled and are living a non-JW life and I can reconnect with them. Until then, I stalk the friend's lists of their parent's and other friends they know and keep hoping.

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