If YOU Had Written the Bible! (page 2)

In the beginning God thought about creating the heavens and the earth but thought better of it and decided not to. He didn't need all that drama from humans disturbing his day of rest.

Amen.

JAFO

I don't believe anyone has the right to tell others how they should live their lives.

You've got to be kidding.

If someone steals your car, let's see how you measure up then.

That doesn't mean I don't reserve the right to beat the crap out of them if they fuck with me.. I'm an anarchist, not an idiot.

OnTheWayOut

I don't know about the OT, I would have a complete re-write with something completely different.

But when it came time for Jesus, I would have had him be so amazing that people would have written about him while he was alive.
I would have had him reveal so much more insider information that everyone would know he was the messiah.
Jesus would not have appeared to small groups only. He would use his "magic" to soar through the sky to get to everyone. He would have offered medical information to save billions of people, farming information to feed billions, words that would make nations consider peaceful solutions instead of war.

Forget all that "test" nonsense when it comes to faith. I would have recognized that God set up an unfair test in the garden of Eden and I would have offered the cheat sheet to mankind if I were writing about the Christ.

slipnslidemaster

There would have been a lot more "Song of Soloman" and a lot less "Revelation".

AK - Jeff

I would try and include some real, honest truth with it.

No talking snakes. No miraculous burning bushes. No fornicating and murderous kings as examples to follow. No worldwide flood. No God-man come to earth. No Satan/God rivalry.

Well, on second thought, it is more interesting as a fairy tale isn't it?

Jeff

StoneWall

I would have had a lot more fantastic battles.

Such as Samson versus Goliath (instead of David).

And instead of a large fish swallowing Jonah I'd have like a Large whale and a Giant Squid battling over him to see

who got to swallow him.

And then when Moses rod turned into a snake and devoured the magic practicing priests' rods(snakes), then I'd have

it turn on all those frogs that came with the plague and eat them up and turn into a really giant snake. Then it would

go on a rampage across the countryside and start eating pigs,cattle,goats,sheep,camels until along comes Nimrod

(who is a great hunter) and slays the serpent with his mighty Nimble Rod.

Plus I'd let all the guys suffer for a little while by making them all have like 700 or so wives just like King David and

Solomon did. Then when they started to beg to die from all the nagging and complaining (Samson only had to put up

with Delilah but can you imagine multiplying that by 700) then I would release them from their bondage and say,

"Enter into your rest for you well deserve it." The curse has been lifted.

And they all lived happily ever after

If YOU Had Written the Bible!

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