Comments You Will Not Hear at the 12-27-09 WT Study (October 15, 2009, pages 17-21)(LOVELESS WORLD)
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MAINTAINING FRIENDSHIPS IN A LOVELESS WORLD "These things I command that you love one another."--JOHN 15:17
OPENING COMMENTS
So there is a world of almost 7 billion LOVELESS non-jws!?
Do jws really love one another like these loveless ones do, the ones that provide food, clothing, medical help to those
who are not even in the same religous group? Where do jws go for help, the Red Cross and the Salvation Army but will
not or are not allowed to donate to these groups. Can you think of the love show by your neighbors, workmates,
schoolmates...we have been given food, helped to move heavy furniture, snowblown our sidewalk, given rides to the
garage to pickup our repaired vehicle.....
Where is the love of Christ in this article? Note that only jws are Christians, God's people, his followers (God that is not
Jesus).
Do you remember when jws were told not to call non-jws "friends" but only "acquaintances"?
START OF ARTICLE
Q 1. Why did first-century Christians need to remain close friends?
DURING his final night on earth, Jesus encouraged his loyal disciples to remain friends with one another. Earlier in the
evening, he said that the love they displayed for one another would identify them as his followers. (John 13:35) The
apostles needed to remain close friends if they were to endure the trials that lay ahead and to accomplish the work that
Jesus would soon assign them. Indeed, first-century Christians became known for their unbreakable devotion to God
and to one another.
COMMENTS
Several jws told me that it was possible to love some jws less citing how John was the beloved disciple.
his followers--only jws
not just friends--but close friends: how many jws did you know for 10 or more years that had not progressed based a
polite hello at the hall, the inside of whose home you had never seen, and had never gone door to door side by side?
So what non-jw resource is the WTS referring to as making known this quality of Christians?
QUOTE
*** w88 10/1 p. 11 par. 6 Appreciation for Our Brothers ***
On the pretext that the Scriptures allow for our having warmer feelings for some brothers than for others, are we
inclined to rationalize our feelings? (John 19:26; 20:2) Do we think we can express a cold, reasoned “love” to some
because we have to, while we reserve warm brotherly affection for those to whom we are attracted?
Q 2. (a) What are we determined to do, and why? (b) What questions will we consider?
2. Today, what a pleasure it is to be associated with a worldwide organization whose members follow the pattern set by
those first-century Christians! We are determined to obey Jesus' command to display genuine love for one another.
However, during these last days, people in general are disloyal and fail to show natural affection. (2 Tim. 3:1-3) The
friendships they do form are often shallow and self-serving. To keep our identity as true Christians, we must rise above
such attitudes. Let us, then, consider the following: What is the foundation of good friendships? How can we make
good friends? When might we need to end a friendship? And how can we maintain upbuilding friendships?
COMMENTS
Do jws show the pattern by marking, shunning, and disfellowshipping their members?
jws only help members in "good standing" in their judgment.
genuine love--smile to your face and stab you in the back
people in general--ALL nonjws are disloyal and fail to show "natural affection"
So who form friendships based on status and money--certainly not jws with their green handshakes and sucking up to
the elders and wealthy jws
OUR identity--true Christians--ONLY JWS
What Is the Basis of Good Friendships?
Q 3, 4. What is the basis of the strongest friendships, and why?
3. The strongest friendships are founded on a love for Jehovah. King Solomon wrote: "If somebody could overpower
one alone, two together could make a stand against him. And a threefold cord cannot quickly be torn in two." (Eccl.
4:12) When Jehovah is the third cord in a friendship, that friendship will endure.
COMMENTS
Where is the foundation of love for Christ?
4. True, those who do not love Jehovah can also form rewarding friendships. But when individuals are drawn together
by a mutual love for God, their friendship will be unshakable. If misunderstandings arise, true friends will treat each
other in a way that pleases Jehovah. If opposers of God try to cause divisions, these enemies discover that friendships
among true Christians are unbreakable. Throughout history, servants of Jehovah have proved their willingness to face
death rather than betray one another. --Read 1 John 3:16.
COMMENTS
Well, while nonjws (who ALL don't love Jehovah) can form friendships....they are obviously deficient
opposers of God--all nonjws including those that claim to be Christians but aren't TRUE Christians like jws
servants of Jehovah--only jws
So nonjws have not proven willing to face death for others?
Q 5. Why was the friendship between Ruth and Naomi so enduring?
5. Without a doubt, the most satisfying friendships we can enjoy are with those who love Jehovah. Consider the
example of Ruth and Naomi. These women formed a friendship that is among the most admirable recorded in the
Bible. Why was their friendship so enduring? Ruth revealed the reason when she said to Naomi: "Your people will be
my people, and your God my God .... May Jehovah do so to me and add to it if anything but death should make a
separation between me and you." (Ruth 1:16, 17) Obviously, Ruth and Naomi shared a deep love for God, and they
allowed this love to influence the way they treated each other. As a result, both women were blessed by Jehovah.
COMMENTS
Friendship cannot be satisfying unless people love Jehovah (only jws).
OT--Ruth and Naomi
Where's the love of the Christ?
How to Make Good Friends
Q 6-8. (a) Enduring friendships are a product of what? (b) How can you take the initiative in making friends?
6. The example of Ruth and Naomi demonstrates that good friendships are not formed by accident. A mutual love for
Jehovah is the foundation. But enduring friendships are a product of hard work and self-sacrifice. Even siblings who
worship Jehovah within Christian families need to work at forming a close friendship. How, then, can you make good
friends?
COMMENTS
Enduring friendships = love of Jah = where's the love of Jesus? Aren't jws Christians, witnesses of Jesus?
7. Take the initiative. The apostle Paul encouraged his friends in the congregation in Rome to "follow the course of
hospitality." (Rom. 12:13) Following a literal course involves taking a series of steps, one after the other. Likewise,
being hospitable involves taking a series of small, regular actions. Nobody else can walk the path of hospitality for you.
(Read Proverbs 3:27.) One way you can be hospitable is by inviting different ones in the congregation to share a
simple meal with you. Can you make it a regular part of your routine to show hospitality to members of your
congregation?
COMMENTS
How many jws rarely talked to you at the KH? Did you try inviting them to your house? Did they accept?
How many jws are not making it part of their routine except to associate with the same small group of jws?
8. Another way you can take the initiative in making friends is by inviting different ones to share with you in the
preaching work. When you stand at a stranger's door and hear your companion speak from the heart about his or her
love for Jehovah, you cannot help but be drawn closer to that individual.
COMMENTS
So did you find yourself assigned to work with the jws considered the dregs of the congregation? Did you hear people
speak from their heart or use the same presentation, pushing the magazines and no mention of God's kingdom? But
what was the conversation between the doors or in the car but entertaining gossip of people in the congregation?
Q 9, 10. What example did Paul set, and how may we imitate him?
9. Widen out in your affections. (Read 2 Corinthians 6:12, 13.) Have you ever felt that there is just no one in your
congregation whom you can befriend? If so, could it be that you are restricting your view of who can be a friend? The
apostle Paul set a good example in widening out in his affections. At one time, he would never have thought of forming
close friendships with non-Jews. However, he became" an apostle to the nations."-Rom.11:13.
COMMENTS
Widen out--how many jws have you known for 20 years and never seen the inside of their home...who have turned
down your invitations year after year?
Are you restricting, or others restricting you as being a friend, marked as bad association.
I grew up in a congregation where all the young jws who only had one parent that was a jw, were never invited to any
social affairs. We were viewed as having leprosy.
10. In addition, Paul did not restrict his friendships to those of his own age group. For instance, he and Timothy
became close friends despite a difference in age and background. Today, many young ones treasure the friendships
they have formed with older members of the congregation. "I have a very dear friend who is in her 50's," says Vanessa,
who is in her early 20's. "I can tell her anything that I can tell friends my age. And she cares about me so much." How
are such friendships formed? Vanessa says: "I had to seek this friendship out and not just wait for it to come to me."
Are you willing to build friendships with those outside your age bracket? Jehovah will certainly reward you for your
efforts.
COMMENTS
I have to admit that almost all my friends at one point were older (see paragraph 9).
Q 11. What can we learn from the example of Jonathan and David?
11. Be loyal. "A true companion is loving all the time, and is a brother that is born for when there is distress," wrote
Solomon. (Prov. 17:17) When composing those words, Solomon may have had in mind the friendship that his father,
David, enjoyed with Jonathan. (1 Sam.18:1) King Saul wanted his son Jonathan to inherit the throne of Israel. But
Jonathan accepted the fact that Jehovah had chosen David for this privilege. Unlike Saul, Jonathan did not become
envious of David. He did not resent the praise David received, nor did he swallow the slander that Saul spread about
David. (1 Sam. 20:24-34) Are we like Jonathan? When our friends receive privileges, are we happy for them? When
they suffer hardships, do we comfort and support them? If we hear harmful gossip about a friend, are we quick to
believe it? Or, like Jonathan, do we loyally defend our friend?
COMMENTS
Solomon have have had in mind---adding to the bible
When jws share bad information with each other, they do swallow the slander and run to the elders, who assume it is
correct and challenge the "bad" jw to explain. They are quick to believe harmful gossip and they don't loyally defend
their friend (see later how WTS encourages "friends" to run to the elders with bad information).
When Friendships Need to End
Q 12-14. What challenge do some Bible students face, and how can we assist them?
12. When a Bible student begins to make changes in his lifestyle, he may face a real challenge regarding friendships.
He may have companions whose company he enjoys but who do not live by the Bible's moral code. In the past, he may
regularly have spent time socializing with them. Now, though, he sees that their activities could have a bad influence on
him, and he feels the need to limit his contact with such companions. (1 Cor. 15:33) Even so, he may feel that if he
does not associate with them, he is being disloyal.
COMMENTS
This is a backhanded way of telling the student to ditch their non-jw friends. What if their activities are wholesome
except they don't "love Jehovah"?
QUOTE
*** w93 4/15 p. 15 par. 8 Youths—What Are You Pursuing? ***
Some worldly youths may seem nice simply because they do not smoke, use bad language, or engage in immoral sex.
If they are not pursuing righteousness, though, their fleshly thinking and attitudes can easily rub off on you. Besides,
how much could you have in common with unbelievers? (2 Corinthians 6:14-16)
13. If you are a Bible student who faces this challenge, remember that a true friend will be happy that you are trying to
improve your life. He or she may even want to join with you in learning about Jehovah. On the other hand, false friends
will "go on speaking abusively of you" because you do not run with them to the same low sink of debauchery." (1 Pet.
4:3, 4) Really, it is these friends who are being disloyal to you, not the reverse.
COMMENTS
False friends go on speaking abusively of you.........expect to find this in the jw congregation.
14. When Bible students are abandoned by former friends who have no love for God, members of the congregation
can fill the void. (Gal. 6:10) Do you personally know those attending your meetings who are studying the Bible? Are you
on occasion able to provide them with some upbuilding association?
COMMENTS
It is really the student that is told to abandon their non-jw friends because they do not love Jehovah. Will members of
the congregation fill the void or treat them as bad association because they are not baptized as a jw? Who should
reach out, jws or the student? Are they studying the bible or WTS publications?
Q 15. 16. (a) How should we react if a friend stops serving Jehovah? (b) How can we prove our love for God?
15. What, though, if a friend inside the congregation decides to turn his or her back on Jehovah, perhaps needing to
be disfellowshipped? Such a circumstance can be very distressing. Describing her reaction 'when a close friend
stopped serving Jehovah, one sister said: "l felt as if something inside of me died. I thought my friend was firmly
grounded in the truth, but she was not. I wondered if she had been serving Jehovah just to please her family. I then
began to reassess my own motives. Was I serving Jehovah for the right reasons?" How did this sister cope? "l threw
my burden on Jehovah," she says. "l am determined to show Jehovah that I love him for who he is, not just because he
provides me with friends inside his organization."
COMMENTS
What if this jw is merely inactive, are they turning their back on God or the jw congregation and its policies/procedures?
Wondered if serving to please family--serving God or Christ? She is judging the motives of her friend.
Yes, jws love God for the CARROT, everlasting life on a paradise earth.
16. We cannot expect to remain a friend of God if we side with those who choose to be friends of the world. The
disciple James wrote: "Do you not know that the friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever, therefore,
wants to be a friend of the world is constituting himself an enemy of God." (Jas. 4:4) We can prove our love for God by
trusting that He will help us cope with the loss of a friend if we are loyal to Him. (Read Psalm 18:25.) The sister quoted
earlier sums up the matter: "l learned that we cannot make someone love Jehovah or love us. Ultimately, it is a personal
choice." What, though, can we do to maintain upbuilding friendships with those who remain inside the congregation?
COMMENTS
only jws are friends of God = all non-jws are friends of the world and will die eternally
Maintaining Good Friendships
Q 17. How do good friends speak to each other?
17 Good communication breathes life into a friendship. As you read the Bible accounts involving Ruth and Naomi,
David and Jonathan, and Paul and Timothy, you will notice that good friends speak freely but respectfully to each other.
Regarding the way we should communicate with others, Paul wrote: "Let your utterance be always with graciousness,
seasoned with salt." Paul was specifically referring to the way we should talk to those "on the outside," that are, those
who are not our Christian brothers. (Col. 4:5, 6) Surely, if nonbelievers deserve respect when we speak to them, how
much more so do our friends inside the congregation!
COMMENTS
Ruth and Naomi, David and Jonathan OT. Paul and Timothy--NT
What does the WTS mean to "speak freely" especially regarding elders?
nonjws, nonbelievers--are not our Christian brothers
.
Q 18, 19. How should we view any counsel that we receive from a Christian friend, and what example did the Ephesus
set for us?
18 Good friends value each other's opinion, so communication between them needs to be both gracious and forthright.
Wise King Solomon wrote: "Oil and incense are what make the heart rejoice, also the sweetness of one's companion
due to the counsel of the soul." (Prov. 27:9) Is that how you view any counsel you receive from a friend? (Read Psalm
141:5.) If a friend expresses concern about some course of action that you are taking, how do you react? Do you view
the comments as an act of loving-kindness, or do you take offense?
COMMENTS
Does the jws value other's opinions? Only if it agrees with their opinion.
When does the individual jw have the right to counsel another?
If the counsel is based on false information, and they assume it is correct, how could you not be offended or hurt by
their assumption you would do something bad?
19. The apostle Paul enjoyed a close relationship with the elders of the congregation in Ephesus. He likely knew some
of those men when they first became believers. During his final meeting with them, though, he gave them some frank
counsel. How did they react? Paul's friends were not offended. Instead, they appreciated his interest in them, and they
even wept at the thought of not being able to see him again. --Acts 20: 17, 29,30, 36-38.
COMMENTS
Do the elders in jw congregations view the CO as a friend or with fear?
Q 20. What will a loving friend do?
20. Good friends not only accept wise counsel but also give it. Of course, we need to discern when "to mind [ourJ own
business." (1 Thess. 4:11) And we must also recognize that each of us "will render an account for himself to God."
(Rom. 14:12) But when necessary, a loving friend will kindly remind a companion about Jehovah's standards. (1 Cor.
7:39) For example, what would you do if you noticed that an unmarried friend was becoming emotionally attached to an
unbeliever? Out of fear of harming your friendship, would you hold back from voicing your concerns? Or if your friend
ignored your counsel, what would you do? A good friend would seek the help of loving shepherds in assisting a
companion who has taken a false step. Such a course requires courage. Yet, no lasting damage will come to a
friendship based on love for Jehovah.
COMMENTS
So what counsel is chosen...to tell an unmarried friend becoming unattached to an unbeliever (all non-jws). Then they
are encouraged to run to the elders and tell. Who ran and told on David when he took Bathsheba and had her husband
killed? Why not the David example here...David's servants and family had to know.
Q 21. What will all of us do at times, but why is it vital that we maintain strong friendships in the congregation?
21. Read Colossians 3:13, 14. At times, we will give our friends "cause for complaint" against us, and they too will do
or say things that irritate us. "We all stumble many times," wrote James. (Jas. 3:2) However, the measure of a
friendship is not how often we sin against each other but how completely we forgive those grievances. How vital it is
that we build strong friendships by communicating openly and forgiving one another freely! If we display such love, it
will become "a perfect bond of union."
COMMENTS
So should all sins be forgiven by an individual against the wrongdoer...what about pedophiles?
How Would You Answer?
• How can we make good friends?
• When might a friendship need to end?
• What must we do to maintain strong friendships?
CONCLUDING COMMENTS
Next week, What Do Your Prayers Say About You? This is the article about whether married jws can hold hands
discreetly but cannot embrace each other.
Love, Blondie