Faded 10 years ago, now considering DA'ing! (page 2)

Gayle

You have already made a big statement, you never got baptized. You un-spoke many words right there. Amazing, your parents encouraged higher education for you. You went on to college and accomplished that. Again, you have already made a big point there in itself. Do you know how many ex-JW kids would envy you? Your actions have already made your point to your parents.

Are you in contact with your sister that is 'out' much? I hope you both can have a wholesome, upbuilding relationship with her and somehow have contact with your little sister that still lives at home. Maybe you can help her in some way to open her mind.

I mean that I feel the need to speak out about the truth, which, in this case, is that I have no desire to do anything that might in any way condone or support the existence of a cultish, future-destroying "religion". I feel that by not "speaking up"

You, apparantly, feel a need to speak up to expose the WTS for what it is, cultish, future-destroying . Many here have that need that have moved on but want to help people with their process of leaving. Maybe you could help your sister. Befriend her, sincerely, with just real life things. Maybe you can make little real points, not attacking her religion, but helping her to grow and use her mind. Invite her to visit you and her little niece. Perhaps there is still hope for her.

Reading is important. I hope you have read "Crisis of Conscience" by Ray Franz and his other book as well. A poster above mentioned Steve Hassan's book and he has a few others books on combatting mind-control issues. I belong to an ex-JW group through "Meetup" here in Phoenix and loan out several books for ex-JW members here. Many leave JWs but never read anything to help them identify the real serious problems of the JW mindset and to learn about the 'whole' story.

mann377

I know where you are coming from, but the best thing for you to do is to get closer (befriend) to your parents. You say that you have a five month old child and have not seen your parents in eight months? I detect some relationship problems. Most grandparents would take the next flight out when the child is due! You will not win over, reason with, your parents if you distance yourself. To deprogram them you need to be close. The WTBS has instilled in them (brainwashed) to throw up a defensive barrier when a negative comment is made of the org. The best thing to help is to get them to start to thinking again on their own (pre WTBS). You can't do this if you have no relationship with them.

RR

Ah, I faded 18 years ago, and never went back, no need to DA.

RR

changeling

You were never baptized. You are free. Enjoy! :)

sspo

You live on the West coast, they live East, it's been ten years and i think very few remember you in the congregation.

Most likely they would not make an announcement since you are not baptized and not a threat to anyone.

Enjoy the communication with your parents and sister and you might have a better chance to help them out

in the future.

DT

I can see why people in your situation might feel a need for sending some kind of formal letter. You were never baptised, but if you went in the ministry, then they counted you as a member in their reports and kept records about you. You could send a letter of resignation and request that your name be removed from all their records. It's just a question of whether this would be worth the potential consequences.

I don't believe they could make an announcement about you or require shunning, because you never formally agreed to live by their rules by getting baptised (especially after they changed the questions). You could probably sue if they tried anything like that, but any that found out would probably treat you differently and might make a personal decision to shun you.

Quandry

Welcome, and we're glad you're here!

Did your parents pay for your college education and encourage you to go even though it was advised against by the WTS? Then you owe them your gratitude.

I and my husband were "in" for more than thirty years and he was an elder for twenty of those. We left, and now see the WTS for what it is. We would never have done so, however, by listening to someone speaking against it. We would have "dug in our heels" as others have stated.

We left because of the miserable treatment to our daughter, but I was already pushing doubts to the back of my mind.

What might have worked for me would have been thought-provoking questions about the length of the creative days.....I had a hard time believing that dinosaurs were on the earth less than 49.000 years ago, and that man had been on the earth only about 6,000 years. I also was upset at the "generation" changes.....there have been two in a little over ten years or so.

Perhaps if you want to "shake things up" you could begin visiting your parents, tell them how much you appreciate their support for you in your college years, and just work in a slight question you've always "wondered" about.

But mainly, as a person who has now lost both parents to death, I would advise you to love your parents, and take an approach that may in the long-run help them on a path to all your family being together once more.

nugget

My sister did the same as you she never got baptised. She lives in Chicago and visits the UK periodically. Because she was never baptised the family receives no censure keeping in touch with her. Wouldn't matter anyway as we're not the shunning sort. You can have more influence in your present situation than if you send a letter.

You were smart and built your own life. I can't see any benefit in writing to the congregation now.

zions watchman

There is a old saying "let sleeping dogs lie" you wake up that dog he will start barking!!! and maybe even bite. I have a friend who's father was an elder, he never did anything about the Cult and they never mess with him. Let it go!!! go on with your life, but if you want to screw it up, get a stick and hit that dog on the head. but be prepared to take the conquence.

jamiebowers

I think I understand what you're saying. You're thinking of "Evil triumphs if good men do nothing". But as so many others have pointed out, da'ing is pointless since you were never baptized and would drive a wedge between you and your jw family. Read the recommended books first, and then try some deprogramming. If you really need to get the "truth" out of your system, why not do an outreach with a blog or You Tube channel? You can do that anonymously if necessary.

You may want to start with your youngest sister. Has she attended college? Why does she still live at home? Are they trying to marry her off in the congregation?

Faded 10 years ago, now considering DA'ing!

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