Be cautious of gifts from them, particularly blue pills and Kool-aid, though!
Farkel
Newbie here, need some input
by FollowerOfSet 37 Replies latest jw friends
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FollowerOfSet
Things went bad
I had dinner with mom last night.
She was dropping little things like sister so-and-so still asks about you and dad-is-an-elder-now and crap like that. So I asked her what was the real reason she wanted to have dinner with me. She said she has been so "worried about me" being "out in the world" at which point all the hurt, feelings of betrayel, pain, frustration, all came out at once. I wish I could've stopped myself but I couldn't. I was shaking, crying, and probly looked a little insane.
Mom just looked at, an said "it is all YOUR fault anyways. YOU did it all to yourself, and to us." She got up and left.
My poor waiter looked scared to come over and drop the check.
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snowbird
Is this the one of whom you're a follower?
Welcome to the board.
Hopefully, you will find some comfort here.
Sylvia
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wasastar
FOS:
There is a lot of pent up emotions on both sides of that issue. If your mom had a meal in a public place with a DA person she could be DF. She probably genuinely cares about you and misses you. However she is still being controlled by a doctine that says you are hurting both yourself and your parents. That the best way to help you is to shun you. The fact that she decided to meet with you indicates that she may no longer fully believe that that is the best way to help you. Try to be patient with her she is probably treading some new ground here for her conscience. I don't know your situation, but I do know how painful it is for a parent to think they have lost their child, possibly forever. Trying to help your child by not following the practice of shunning might just be the first step in releasing the controlling bonds of the borg. It was for me.
Wishing you better times ahead,
wasastar
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Cadellin
Follower: Welcome! Good to have you here. I'm inclined to echo the others who have said to give your family members the benefit of the doubt. However, after reading your reaction to your mom's comment where so many feeings of hurt, pain, betrayal, etc., as you described, came so quickly to the surface after 15 years, it sounds like you are still very much wounded over your exit circumstances. Have you considered seeing a reputable therapist in order to sort out your feelings and start healing?
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jdhf
hey there.....My biological family have shunned me for 20 years now, but not for religious reasons. I married 'beneath me'...anyway, I am of the opinion that if they came running back I would forgive them and run into their arms but they have hurt me so much that I think I would forgive them but still keep a distance. twice shy....
they have shown no love for you as your bio family for so long, and they can't take that back. I would be really wary and cautious. i would ask them directly their reasons for this sudden action, as they are going against their religion by contacting you. Something is up. You have a right to be paranoid. It's called instinct. use it well.
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parakeet
If they are die-hard dubs, remember that their love and friendship are always -- ALWAYS -- conditional.
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ziddina
Snowbird, that looks a bit like Annubis - you sure that's Set?? It looks more like a jackal-headed god (Annubis or Anubis) than an anteater-headed god...
Zid
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freewilly01
Stand firm in the fact that you made the best decision of your life to leave. I had very similar situation in my life with an old friend who looked me up (active JW) and wanted to see me. I was as honest as possible and replied to him each time after he made his first of many condescending remarks:
Wow! I cant believe your so together? I thought that you would have been all screwed up being in the world now!
My reply:
Well I guess that just goes to show you that I made the best decision for myself, your right I have really changed as a person I am way more blunt and honest than I have ever been in my life! I hope that maybe we can remain friends although we are both two different people now. Your not going to count me as a RV now and count the time for coffee too are you?
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