My JW friend de-friended me!

by keeshondgirl 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • keeshondgirl
    keeshondgirl

    Dissed, I agree.

    My husband and I too did not fit in the club. We were ignored and no one has attempted to help bring us back. We must be beyond saving.

  • miseryloveselders
    miseryloveselders

    Keeshondgirl, you just highlighted the simple minded nature of plenty who "grow up in the truth." She stated that, "she made it her choice." She "made the choice" based on the tunnel vision that her parents presented to her while growing up. You might liken her to that of a victim. Its similar to stories you hear of children being upducted, and then being raised for several years before finally being rescued. It will take years of psychiatric help to assist them to a life of normalcy, if they ever achieve such a thing. (hence the WTS suspicion of Psychiatrists) Another thing is, she used the classic, "you turned your back on God" line. Just as 1 +1= 3, The WTS=Jehovah in JW minds. You leave "The Organization", you've left God, at least thats what they believe. Again, bear in mind, that way of thinking has been ingrained in her for her entire existance on this planet.

    She should feel guilty now, because she played a major role in your best friend wanting nothing to do with this religion. What she did is on par with "stumbling" someone. Some hardcore JWs will liken that to having bloodguilt. Me personally Kee, I don't believe in friendship in The Truth. IMO, you didnt lose a friend, but you lost one of .................."The Friends." Your fortunate in the aspect that your husband is on the same page with you. Myself and many others aren't so lucky. (not that we believe in luck or anything)

    Another thing, your right about how JWs dont present all their cards on the table. When you have a "study" with someone, its no wonder they don't use the Revelation book. Can you imagine how limited their conversion would be, if studies had access or even knew about that book? Or about the Wild Beast, Disfellowshipping, 144,000, man-worship of "the slave", etc.? They're getting worse now, with the "public" Watchtower magazine, and the "publisher's" copy.

    Kee, I don't know how deep your relationship with her was, but to me, people come and go. Me saying that might be a reflection of my own upbringing in this religion.

  • keeshondgirl
    keeshondgirl

    miseryloveselders,

    I like what you said. Out of all the watchtower books made, we only kept the revelation book as a reminder how insane they really are. I know that this witness 'friend' always had friends that came and went depending if they were considered good associates. I don't think she had a friend for more then a few years at a time. Her parents often cut off associations from her and I guess I'm a new one. She is 24 and still listens to everything her parents tell her and who to be friends with. I liken it to a chicken who has been in a cage all its life laying eggs. Thats all it knows and she only knows the watchtowers way of life. I don't think she'll ever break free which is a shame since she will never experience life beyond the box she is in.

  • diamondiiz
    diamondiiz

    keeshondgirl: I have very similar experience but you haven't lost much other than a false friend who befriended you to recruit you. These sort of people deny reality and live a lie. They are stubborn and blind to what they believe. If you have nothing to lose with that individual tell her if she can prove 607BC for destruction of Jerusalem you'll go back to the meetings :) And that proof better be outside of wts realm.

  • TheOldHippie
    TheOldHippie

    This is said especially because Witnesses in Nazi Germany betrayed each other readily, with little proding, as shown in Gestapo archives.

    Yeah, sure, Gestapo archives are reliable sources? Come on, this is the world's oldest interrogation technique, telling the poor guy in the chair that he has been betrayed by others, and then asking him to betray still others.

    Using Nazi archives as a truth witness - yeah, sure!

  • awildflower
    awildflower

    I've been out for a year since January and I've had two facebook jw friends get in touch with me. One was a friend for a while until I told her I was no longer a jw and that I had NEVER been df'd or I never da'd myself but I told her I was just being honest with her because I know she follows a set of rules that don't allow for her to have "worldly" friends. Sure enough she deleted me as a friend. Then another jw friend just recently found me on facebook and after going through a couple of paragraphs about how everyone was doing in my family, (I wanted to be sure to do that before so she could hear how happy we were), I told her to I was no longer a jw and I was "just being honest" etc, just like the other friend I told. Because I knew I'd never hear from her again, I said, "it should be a red flag for a group of people to be able to tell you who you can be friends with and who you can't." Sure enough, I never heard back from her. And let's remember I'M NOT DF'D OR DA'D! It doesn't matter though, even if your just "inactive" you will get shunned. And for the record I don't consider myself "inactive" either. I'm very clear I'M OUT. But I tell these people upfront because hopefully it will make them think a little........wf

  • Found Sheep
    Found Sheep

    well... i defriended some of my JW "friends" cuz did want to be judged by them

  • metatron
    metatron

    Old Hippie, I'm surprized you don't know about this, considering that you are much closer to where it happened.

    First, this information was exposed after the war, from Gestapo records that had been confidential, for their use only. Secondly, even if the Gestapo told a prisoner that he was betrayed, why talk to them? Would Witnesses feel a sense of revenge in trying to betray others? To try to get even?

    Again, the Society has discreetly brought up this matter many times without telling the friends the actual origin of the problem. Many brothers in Germany were jealous and hateful to one another - and that caused the problem with betrayal!

    But you don't need to be an expert on Nazi interrogation to know about how Witnesses stab each other in the back. All you need is intimate knowledge of how elders treat each other, especially from different congregations. I KNOW about elders who would receive large donations to be used by more than one congregation - who kept that money for their own use , without telling other congregations (or elders) about it.

    Why do you think that Bethel must intervene between elders in building projects? In this regard, I have personal experience with being shocked as a new elder - with the cutthroat and unloving way elders spoke about other elder bodies. And yes, there was one or more attempts to quietly involve legal authorities to 'get' the other elders. (I can't elaborate but it was triggered by threats about oral contracts, so use some imagination.

    Want more? How about Circuit Overseers who "got shafted" to circuits in Alaska because they pissed off somebody powerful in the Service Dept.? Shall I continue? Enough yet? When do a thousand little betrayals lead to a really big betrayal?

    metatron

  • changeling
    changeling

    Get used to it, darlin. :)

  • keeshondgirl
    keeshondgirl

    Diamondiiz-- Thats a good idea about asking her to prove 607 without WT sources. I was thinking of telling her to look up the UN thing, not sure she knows about that, but I think the 607 year is better to ask her. That proves that 1914 is down the drain too. She would probably come up with some excuse about only using Jehovahs organizations books though.

    wildflower,

    I too was deleted from her facebook shortly after I stopped going to meetings. I actually told her this:

    I will never forget the good times we had and hope to see them again. I would never have wanted to act like how you are to me if the situation were reversed. I would have been there for you out of love and patient enough to listen to you when you were ready to talk. True friends are hard to come by and JW make the worse of friends.

    Oh well, I guess whats done is done. When a persons mind is brain washed its hard to get them to see whats wrong with their behavoir. It doesn't matter what I write to her.

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