Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Roasted Doe
If we were alone together in the woods 100 miles from nowhere
by John Doe 23 Replies latest jw friends
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Nathan Natas
Why 100 miles?
If we walked to the corner together, I'd put you on my list of potential menu items.
That's why it's always a good idea to carry about 100 grams ( 4 oz.) of curry powder with you when you go off into the woods.
It helps cover any gaminess with savory deliciousness.
You never get a second chance to make a good last impression! Carry a flask of nice Chianti too, won't you?
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keyser soze
I would drop a second tree on you just to be safe.
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John Doe
Fricassie, rotisserie, stew, pit bbq, or grill?
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kurtbethel
Dull pocket knife? That would be good enough to dig the dirt out from under you and extricate you that way.
You better hope it is me with you, because there sure are some sick bastards around here.
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leec
Who would determine that amputation was indeed the correct option, and upon what bases?
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BurnTheShips
My first choice, I'd improvise. I'd dig around underneath the part of the tree that was on your limb until we could free it. There's no reason why I shouldn't be able to do that. I can't think of any, unless the tree pinned you against bare rock.
If I could leave you there and go get help, I would. I'd leave you with food and water, and if we had it, build a tent or at least an improvised shelter over your body while you waited. I'd mark the spot somehow so it would be visible from the air, and if I had a GPS I'd mark the coordinates. If we were in bad bear country, however, it might be a bad idea. But we'd be stupid to be out in a place like that without at least a revolver. So I guess I could still leave you out there, after sheltering you, but just leaving a loaded revolver next to your free hand.
If, for whatever hypothetical reason, I had no choice but to amputate, I'd bind the limb up really well, until you had no sensation in it from lack of circulation. The binding would also slow or stop the bleeding from the wound. I'd give you booze if I had any (and 100 miles out in the wilderness you bet I'd at least have alcohol for a portable stove) until you passed out. I'd get a fire ready so I could cauterize the wound and sanitize the knife blade. Then I'd amputate it below the binding, cauterize it, and get us going to civilization, but only because I had absolutely no other choice.
BTS
Edit: It occurs to me that even if you were pinned to bare rock, if we had an ax, I could still chop away enough tree to be able to roll the rest off you. It might take a long while on thick hard wood tree trunk with a small hand ax, but it would be doable. You'd probably be cussing for me to hurry up. We'd be pretty stupid to be out there without an ax. But then, I guess if we only had a dull knife to cut off a limb, we'd probably be pretty stupid to begin with.
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Heaven
No. I'd find a rock and another branch or a series of logs to build a fulcrum and use physics to pivot/move/lift the tree off of you. I've moved huge cement blocks that were too heavy for my Dad's front end loader on his tractor by simply using a series of logs.
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John Doe
Well, I know who I'd go camping with.
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BurnTheShips
Heaven's idea might work too. It just depends on the size of the tree and availability of logs of the right size. I thought of that, but thought that digging would be simpler and faster.
BTS