If we were alone together in the woods 100 miles from nowhere

by John Doe 23 Replies latest jw friends

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    After reading the initial post I thought of digging first. Then someone mentioned yoiu might be lying on a rock.

    Well rocks can be a great way to sharpen the knife. So I would sharpen the knife on the rock and go to work on the tree (after propping it up on more rocks so that it doesn't keep weighing down on you as I hack pieces of the tree out.

    Cutting your leg off just seems stupid. Eventually we will have to move and head back towards civilization. And dragging you back just doesn't sound like the smarter thing to have to do.

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    The tree keeps you pinned down..

    Allowing me to cut off other body parts..

    For my new Outdoor BBQ Restaurant..

    ............................ ...OUTLAW

  • dissed
    dissed

    First, you would have to sign my waiver releasing me of any liability. Once that was signed and notorized, I would proceed with the operation, as follows.

    To make sure you felt no pain, I would carefully bash your head in with a large rock until you were either unconscious or dead. Then I would cut off your limb and then remove your wallet from your lifeless body for my fee.

    After this is done, I would write a book, go on Oprah, and share how I survived my terrible ordeal. (pictures would be included of course)

    Picture one: Here's me cutting the limb off.

    #2 Here's me smiling and holding up the severed limb (job well done)

    #3 Here's me with my $2,000,000 check for selling the movie rights

    #4 Here's me posing with Jack Nicholson and Tom Cruise, the stars of the movie, receiving our Academy Award

    #5 Here's me donating $10 to the 'Hikers, Watch out for falling trees awareness fund'

  • recovering
    recovering

    Mr doe you are in luck, I am trained to do just that type of feild surgery. I happen to always carry around my field kit with me. As long as you have your insurance card with you we can procede at once. Of course I had to modify the kit just a bit (correct blood type no extra charge).

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