I know I asked this before, but is your daughter given the choice of not going to any religious service at all? Surely she has an uncle/aunt/friend's house she could play at on Sunday mornings? She might find that even more appealing than going to your church. How old is your daughter by the way? And sorry for that triple post, I'm not sure what happened there :)
Interfaith marraiges and children
by garyneal 31 Replies latest social family
-
-
garyneal
You seem, to me, to be suffering from the delusion that your wife belongs to a group of harmless loonies.
I guess that is just me feeling sorry for my wife. I mean, in spite of the fear that I have of the cult, I still think the people there are overall nice and are generally trying to lead a decent moral life. At least the ones I've met. Still though, I do want to show her another way and not necessarily through church. While I think a belief in God can be beneficial, I also know how it can be abused.
Remember, I've been in a legalistic church before where the preacher gets carried away and tells people how to lead their lives by saying things that go beyond the Bible.
As a child of the cult, I wish I had been protected from the lunacy. Instead, I was encouraged to join it by parents that had access to information that identified Rutherford's cult as a bunch of loonies and ignored it.
Really, what information did your parents possess?
If she joins you in your beliefs, will she think the same of her mother?
NO, absolutely not. Not if I have anything to do with it. If anything, she will think like I do in that my wife (her mom) is a dear sweet person who truly loves God and wants to please Him. However, this spiritual need of hers is being misguided by the machine that is the Watchtower Society. It is the machine that is evil, not the people. If any church I attend says otherwise, I will certainly correct them and I doubt I will be attending it much longer.
She has my sympathy.
She also has your influence, at least in a small way. You see, I purchased that book you recommended to others, "Teach Your Child How to Think." I agree in that we all need to know this valuable skill as I too was in a very legalistic religion and had to break free. I will teach my child that it is perfectly okay, and in fact encouraged, to critically examine my beliefs and her mom's beliefs as I will be doing the same. Personally, I don't think everything is as black and white as so many 'religious' people tend to make them out to be.
-
garyneal
I know I asked this before, but is your daughter given the choice of not going to any religious service at all?
This has only happened once since when my sister-in-law was home one Sunday. She decided that she would rather play with her cousin than attend any worship service. I am not opposed to her not attending any worship service.
-
TD
TD: I wonder why this religion appeals to unhappiness?
Because the bait on the end of the hook is a quick fix for all the situations that typically cause adults to be unhappy.
Eric Hoffer, in the book, The True Believer gave a very good analysis of the psychology of mass movements. They promise a glorious future to people that are dissatisified with their current state, but capable of hope. Although he was primarily talking about political movements, the similarities to religious movements like the JW's are striking.
Mass movements devalue the present. When you think about it, that is the standard opening line when a JW calls on a stranger's door. The JW will talk about how bad conditions are today, but point out that they will improve very soon.
Have you lost a father/mother/son/daughter in death recently? --They're going to be resurrected back to perfect life in paradise real soon now
Have you been a victim of crime? --God is going to end crime real soon now.
Are you struggling to make ends meet or even to put food on the table? --Economic worries will be a thing of the past real soon now.
Are you tired of racial injustice? --God is going to put an end to that real soon now.
Are you sick of pointless wars? --God is going to put an end to them real soon now.
Do you not have the time to really enjoy life and do the things you want to do? --You will have eternity in a paradise earth to see the entire world real soon now.
Are you unhappy with your appearence? --God is going to restore everyone to a perfect body real soon now.
Do you wish you were wealthy? --The homes and stores and earthly possessions of kings will be yours for the taking real soon now.
Does life seem to lack purpose? --The JW's will give you a purpose. That purpose is to bring this messege to others.
Once the person is hooked, they don't care what the cost is.
-
greenie
I just had to drop by to offer support. Haven't been posting as much lately, but really identify with this thread.
GaryNeal said: I guess that is just me feeling sorry for my wife.
I think a lot of people who aren't in the nonJW/JW relationship situation maybe don't immediately get that though as nonJWs who have researched the WTS we definitely don't agree with their teachings and think they can be detrimental and are misleading, however, no matter the subject, it really hurts you to see the one you love hurting. You love that person, you don't want to see them hurting. For me, it sometimes even magnifies the frustration/anger I sometimes have toward the organization because I contribute my JWs suffering to them. I know it's a very strange and complex situation, GaryNeal. I can totally relate.
-
dgp
Greenie, long time no see! I second your post, word by word.
-
Black Sheep
As a child of the cult, I wish I had been protected from the lunacy. Instead, I was encouraged to join it by parents that had access to information that identified Rutherford's cult as a bunch of loonies and ignored it.
Really, what information did your parents possess?
My father got baptised only 14 years after Rutherford's classic failure of prophesying the arrival of the Ancient Worthies. The book Children, was released two years after his baptism. He would have read it, studied it, sold it to other prospective victims, read in the WT that Rudderless said the book was valuable for the coming months before Balmygeddon. I wasn't born untill 11 years later, by which time months had turned into years and Jebooboo still hadn't bothered to drag his sorry 4rse out of bed and kill anybody.
I remember an occasion when an elderly Lutheran made him look like a complete fool on the immortality of the soul. Instead of admitting defeat, he said, and I quote. "These people are Bible scholars!" That was all he had left. Faith in the conclusions of some men in Brooklyn. He really didn't give a sh!t what the Bible said. I bet that wasn't the only occasion when he got trounced by someone who knew their Bible and had good debating skills.
He made the same statement to me, when I took him to task on John 20:28. It was all he had left. "These people are Bible scholars!" He simply ignors the text, the grammar, the context, the belief system of the era, anything relevant that contradicts the WT, he ignors.
My mother is worse, if anything. She was an English teacher and insisted I used correct grammer, but she is happy to ignor all of the rules of grammer any time they contradict her cult.
I remember Dad 'explaining' the flip flop on Romans 13:1 (Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God) as demonstrating that the Society must be guided by Holey Spirt. His explanation was loonier than the original problem he was trying to explain.
Their whole lives have been spent ignoring the evidence of their failed prophesies, and scriptures, and science that contradict their doctrines. They are still trying to get me in. They both deny previous teachings. I don't know if they are deliberately lying, or not.
Cheers
Chris
-
marriedtojw
wow garyneal... not to hijack your thread, but it amazes just how her actions towards you are EXACTLY how my wifes actions are towards me.. I have endless nights of alone time where I've become depressed because of all her JW/KH time .... Its gotten really bad between us within the last week to the point where I'm now moving out of our bedroom into another bedroom... our relationship as become so shallow and almost non existent.
She spends all her time doing KH stuff now, and inside of our baby's diaper bag I noticed Theocratic Ministry books amongst all the other (about 15) books and all are highlighted throurougly...
I wish I had the same patience you have.. (btw my wife is also pregnant, which also adds hormones to the whole thing)...
Today (Monday), I ask my wife if we can find some fun things to do together as a family. Her reply is that she is so busy with work, school, and Kingdom Hall activities. It bothered me a bit and I said, "You are not willing to make time for your family? For me?" She said, "The things I want us to do together as a family you do not want to do." (Read: become a JW and worship the faithful slave)
This has come up in our arguments about once a week... almost verbatum...
I don't understand how it is that they can be in this religion that scares them so much that they are willingly giving up their own family and own happiness to be enslaved by them. My wife is normally a reasonable person when it comes to things... she can think things out logically.. but it amazes me that she's so willing to blindly follow a cult like this...
I'll be praying for you Gary...
-
marriedtojw
oh and btw... we didn't celebrate valentines day this year.. first time in six years....her excuse? "because I'm going back to church now..."
-
musky
Garyneal,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.You seem like a pretty cool person.And one who cares a great deal for his family.I hope things go great for your family.