my mother received a phonecall from my jw motherinlaw (my mum is not a jw ) she said she would like our address , so she can send her son a get well card , she also said she misses our child who is now 6 and so does her non attendind meetings husband , she said she deserves to suffer but he does not as he dosnt go to meetings (not sure why she deserves to suffer , perhaps thats because she is jw and deserves to suffer because she has "the truth"!) she told my mum that i would not let them see my child which really annoyed me as what i actually said was "that if her daddy wasnt welcome at their home (he is disfellowshipped) then im sure he would not want his daughter to go either , but i did not ban them from my home . that was around about a year ago , we were just getting used to no contact even though my husband was very hurt , im not sure what to do now as they are apparently heart broken about not seeing her (even though it was because of them banning their son from the house last year that caused that ,and he was disfellowshipped 14 years ago ! i think i should allow supervised contact but dont think hubby would agree but i think he would allow them in our home , my mum told my mother in law they were not normal parents and the religion that divided her family was evil , but after saying that managed to end the call on good terms !
jw grandparents miss my child
by looloo 12 Replies latest jw experiences
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awildflower
Another casualty of the cult. Do any lurkers or trolls see this as a red flag?
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isaacaustin
The WT would try to turn this around and say that the dfed person, by their actions, is excluding the 'innocent' JW from their grandchilds life.
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awildflower
My heart truly goes out to you looloo and anyone else who is dealing with this type of situation. It is so emotionally draining and unnecessary, I just wish the GB of this org would see that and leave these people in peace. There is nothing peaceful about how this org is run. It's all egoic.
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isaacaustin
It is very sad how these themse, such as described above, repeat themselves over and over in the lives of members/ex-members.
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BluesBrother
The believing grandparents make a rod for their own back when they uphold d/f against a grandchild......
In my extended family there is a d.f daughter with a child. The believing g/parents kept up some contact and used to have the little girl over...I do not suppose that every d/f parent would allow that, but I think that it benefited everybody (and was within the J W rules - just)
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cofty
Thats a difficult situation, we had a similar dilemma when we left. My daughter was 3 and son was 7. My JW father-in-law who had been horrible to us all the years we were in the borg was on the phone to my wife within days of my being df'd demanding to take the children for days out (never bothered with them previously) and insisting that my wife was to bring them out to the car or arrange a time when I was not at home. I decided to play part of Mr Reasonable. I said of course they could spend time with the children but first I wanted him to call me and agree to some ground rules. I insisted we did this one to one I would not agree to discussing it by proxy. As I expected we never heard from them; 14 years and counting.
My parents decided it was easier for them to make a clean break. They deeply regret their decision now. In the last couple of years my son and daughter have kept in touch with them and have visited them and stayed over. Both sets of parents live over 100 miles away. My mum is very sad about missing out on their childhood.
If grandparents agree to treat you with respect and civility in front of the children and vow to never mention their religion I would encourage trying to maintain contact if practical, supervised if you have the slightest doubt about their ability to keep their promises.
Best wishes
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Black Sheep
They always try to insunuate to non-members, that the family breakdown is not their fault.
You have to make it very clear to them, that it is their choice to shun their son (who comes as a package deal with a wife and a daughter) and that they are welcome to meet with all of you, as long as they keep their religion out of it.
Her husband's non-attendance was just a red herring to wave in front of your Mum. Believing, drifted, victims are just as loopy as fully fledged members. They just hide it better.
Invite them to her next birthday
Cheers
Chris
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judge rutherFRAUD
till they stop shunning your husband, I wouldn't give them the time of day. i fact this is up your your husband and not you.
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nelly136
she said she deserves to suffer
jw persecution complex.
she told my mum that i would not let them see my child
sooo its all your fault really.
when i was little i was told i wouldnt miss birthdays and christmas because i'd never had them, i wish i had employed the same reasoning when
it came to my oldest daughter being exposed to her jw grandmother. it worked perfectly well for the 2nd.