I think for many there is a need to replace one religion with another. Your life has revolved around knowing what is true and what will happen in the future. So if this isn't true then SOMETHING must be. Stop thinking that you know nothing - you know one imortant fact - the JW religion is a mind control cult who mess with peoples lives. Then be ready to learn more from reliable sources. Try and do something tht you have never allowed yourself to do - live for the moment. It seem very indulgent, but it will give you time to re-group your thoughts and find out who you really are. Look after yourself first and foremost and then you can take time to read, discuss, learn and pick out what you want to believe. You can also be free to change your mind on your beliefs whenever you want to. Freedom can be very scary, but it is also liberating - the possibilities are endless.
Everything feels broken
by Sapphy 20 Replies latest jw friends
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yknot
Human beings like direction....... and the hows, wheres, and whys
Sounds like you might be agnostic or a budding atheist.
It is up to individuals to decide (actively or passively) what the direction is..... God/religion/spirituality, Humanistic endeavor, evolution or whatever it is that gives purpose and meaning to their lives.
Beyond that it is okay not 'knowing' as the certainity was never really there it was only an illusion and coercive control tatic of the WTS....... I get totally where you are coming from as I still have many moments during the day where I feel as if I were a 'babe on milk' instead of acknowledging all the many things I have learn! Yesterday I felt utterly stupid and out of place 'in the world'....... we were born into this cult and we will all bear some sort of scar(s) as a result.
Personally I chose to remain a Xian, no I don't buy all of it hook line and sinker, acknowledging the bible is a book put together by a committee of men among other things.....but it's more basic principles and familiarity is what makes me feel content.
So what gives you contentment?
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jaguarbass
How do you cope with going from being one of the chosen few with the truth to realizing that
you know nothing.
Didnt someone tell you not to look behind the curtain and see the wizard?
To inherit the kingdom you must be child like.
When I read Dawkins or atheistic evolutionary literature, I get depressed, reading the bible Psalms, Ecclesiates,
Proverbs counters the effect of Dawkins.
Last month I read Dawkins "The greatest Show on Earth" I became depressed.
This month I read "I Havent Got the Faith to be an Atheist" by Norman Geisler. Reading it
I feel much better. I step back and look at my behavior and see that I am causing bi-polar
manic depressive mood swings, their is life in the word, there is light in the word. There is
Darkness in despair in the works of Dawkins. Thats how I see it.
"I havent Got the Faith to be an Atheist" is pretty much like any of Dawkins books
only the opposite. It uses all the arguments Dawkins uses but comes up with an
opposite conclusion from Dawkins.
Many here will disagree. What you and I dont know is how others cope, alcohol, drugs, sex.
Then God disciplines those who love him and are his children.
Maybe your feeling broke is Gods discipline.
The bible says the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing
but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. I corinthians 1:18
If you are feeling broke because you think the message of the cross is foolishness,
the bible has spelled it out for you and I.
I honestly dont know what the truth is about what is going on in this world and our life.
We could be in a computer similation, matrix or It could be like the bible says. Also there
are other scenerios that may be playing out.
But I do know I get comfort from the bible and I feel broken reading Dawkins and his kind.
So whether thats evolution or its discipline from God, I get a psychological message
that reading Dawkins and athesitic literature is detrimental to my well being.
Depression often leads to suicide, So God and Christian literature for me is a suicide prevention
plan. Its life.
In searching for happiness I have found that if you cant believe in a loving kind God, that it
is to your benefit to delude yourself to believing, fake it until you make it.
There is lots of pro God litterature and pro creation anti Darwin anti Dawkins litterature
you have to choose to read it and dwell on it.
Its a choice, Birds of a feather flock together.
You become what you think about, that can apply right down to light and darkness.
I would say that Jehovahs witnesses, the organization many of us have escaped from
is a tool of the devil or it may be a spiritual kindergarden depending on your perspective.
Either way it is something to move away from.
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Robdar
I agree with CyberJesus. You will have to re-learn everything but it can be very exciting. It does get better. I promise you.
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freydo
You know, when you stop and think about it, it really boggles the mind. The more we learn the less we know. All we know for sure is that we're on board this speck of a planet whizzing around our sun at 33,000+ mph and heaven only knows where in Universe. Our species has been doing this for a little over 6000 years, as best as we can figure. And what has gone on during this time is just truly mind numbing. When I think of the butchery that has gone on non-stop it makes me want to disavow being any part of the human race, and makes the words of Messiah ring ever more true, that, "My Kingdom is not of this world." And for me, like Paul, death would be a gain, which is of course the antithesis of the rest of the planet who seem in a frenzy to pack life into their dying organisms. And then there's the issue of the 6000 years. Zippity do da. We know we weren't created by accident unless you're of the conviction that it wasn't that long ago that humans stopped having sex with monkeys. Maybe some still are. Who knows. But most of us who haven't been on Prozac too long, think that there was intellegent life on this planet prior to 6000 years ag0. I mean 6000 years in galactic time is like the blink of an eye. And then we have all these flying saucer reports from very credible sources and ancient civilizations that just vanished without a trace. Well, the whole thing just gets incomprehensible. And really there's just one hope, for me at any rate, and that is that the Book of Revelation is true, and that somehow, one day, "God will wipe away every tear and death will be no more." Revelation 21:4 Shalom out.
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oompa
hmmm........."incredibly lost and alone"..............sorry friend...been there done that too.................i did not cope well as a fourth generation born in brainwashed from birth with two kids...............depression kicked in big time and going through the motions became more like moving in wet concrete.....then i started drinking a lot more...almost like the elders...lol............then i went to psychiatrists for meds...and therapists.....they said i needed exit counseling and that if they were trapped in a cult like this and faced losing everyone in your life...well hell they would be drinking too!!!!
so then i tried good old suicide attempt with meds and booze....probably a feeble one as i own plenty of guns that are more like 100%....so anyway it took about 4 years before i left my jw wife and told my parents i wish they would not shun me....they will........but i have a bit of peace now and enjoy the freedom of thought without fear of elders or others.....even told my co old superbuddy that there was no fukkin way i would ever go to another meeting again and that was two days before they reproved me for "causing division"....even though i still have not found anyone i divided....lol....damm i could not drag even ONE with me!!!!!
be careful friend....it can be a dark, lonely, and scary ride...........oompa
oh and i met with the CO and then wrote the society about my issue....their reply confirmed my worst fear....we wrote our OWN bible....changed it in MAJOR ways...and made it say what we wanted in order to teach our own unique doctrines..........
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Mad Sweeney
To answer your question, Sapphy, "How did you cope & resolve the big questions for yourself?" I would say that I honestly haven't resolved anything but I cope by feeling like the answers aren't important to me. There is a lot to think and feel and do outside of spiritual pursuits and the JW faith has kept me and my family from thinking, feeling, and doing most of them.
I have a lot of lost time to make up for and I'm going to enjoy it.
Will I ever get to know who God really is and if He really exists as an entity? I don't know and I don't care. If he feels it's important to make himself known to me, he will. If it isn't important to him then why should I worry about it?
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Sapphy
Thanks everyone - I really like some of these suggestions & I'm grateful for the empathy shown here.
EmptyInside - The 'I'm in a crisis mode' seems to be my mind's default setting at the moment. I need to shake myself out of it.
I think the only thing to do, as some of you have suggested, is to try and feel the excitment of not knowing - Thanks Robdar, I do feel that excitment, but it's really scary! The safety belt, when anything bad happens, of "It doesn't matter, it will all be alright in the end' has well and truly disappeared. eek!
oompa - yep the depression is kicking in, running through treacle with concrete boots describes it. But I'm fighting back as are you. Chin up Bro'.
xx
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jookbeard
Sapphy; you have a PM
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WontLeave
Many people here crave you believe just as they do every bit as much as when they were pounding on doors. Their beliefs may have changed, but the insecurity that requires others share their beliefs to validate them remains. The search for truth is a difficult one, especially if you're trying to make it fit with a preconceived goal.
My personal opinion is, I have no dog in the race. The "holy" books aren't mine and neither are the science (true or pseudo) books, so I won't be offended whichever someone choses to believe. But you asked as "a person who needed to know" and that's commendable. It definitely beats creating your perception then seeking evidence for that end, which is what most people do. Your journey is your own, but I'll share my method of travel and you can perhaps glean something helpful from it:
I read everything, but believe nothing until I can see a bigger picture. As soon as I sense an agenda or specious evidence that's pretty obviously used with full knowledge of the presenter that it's spin, I suspect everything they say and require more than the usual proof of subsequent statements. That's why I don't trust the Watchtower: I've caught them too many times taking liberties with the Scriptures and playing fast and loose with facts. Many sources I've researched have gone into my "BS until proven otherwise" pile on this very basis.
Agenda is actually one of the main reasons I believe the Bible is inspired of God, while minor details may have been altered by activist priests and scribes throughout the centuries. If there is a God, he wouldn't allow his Word to become so tainted the truth couldn't be gleaned from it by someone with an honest mind and heart. If the whole thing is a lie and there is no God, then why all the different churches teaching a different doctrine about the same original lie? Basically, why compound lying about a lie?
While there are a few Muslim, Buddhist, and Jewish sects, they are nearly identical in doctrine to one another. Meanwhile, David Barrett's research discovered 33,830 "Christian" denominations. It seems to me something or someone has made a concentrated effort to confuse Christianity to the point of ridiculousness, while the other major religions have merely split along a few geographic lines or followed the idiosyncrasies of dynamic leaders, while never straying far from original orthodoxy. Why the Catholic Church turning orthodoxy on its ear then engaging in ghastly tactics to enforce it? Why the secrecy of the Bible and the seizure of all doctrinal authority by the Popes? Muslims are supposed to memorize as much of the Q'ran as possible and Jews are supposed to read regularly from the Torah, but the Church did everything it could to keep people from reading the Bible.
Why can so many people look right at Bible verses that are as plain as day and see something completely different than what the words say? What causes them to be stricken blind when dealing with the Bible, when other books don't seem to be affected this way? It was this confusion and blindness that caused me to believe the Bible was more than just a book of fairy tales and some sinister force was trying to negate the effect it has in people's lives. There is no reason to confuse the understanding of the Q'ran, Book of Mormon, Tripitaka, beyond what is natural and human, since they don't lead to truth or salvation, in my opinion. I read them nonetheless, just for due diligence (well, not the Tripitaka, because it's insanely enormous and doesn't even claim to answer my questions).