I will echo what other gals have said mostly...... since it is most appealing to me as a female.
You need to make sure you are her first choice for leadership/direction and right now you aren't......it will take time to reverse the situation.
She will and is clinging harder because it is what she has been trained to do ....... and it is totally fear based.
So what can you do to off-set this ingrained response........?
1) Increase intimacy (not just sex). Make a point to daily physically touch your wife via cuddling, holding hands, hugs, massages, date nights, more quality time together, and communication. We thrive on this stuff like a plant to water and sunshine: consider how a plant will lean toward the sun to receive it's warmth and light even if it means the plant must bend or twist in an opposite direction it has previously been growing. You will be actively competing for fulfilling her need for attention and approval. We like to feel desired and wanted which leads us to trusting you boys enough to seek your advice/opinons and approval.......
Talking about future plans and achieving some short-term ones together is very important. Again here you are re-directing her attentions and discernment away from the WTS. She also receives increased feelings of security by seeing you in start and finish things, you prove yourself again as being reliable and consistant where the WTS has cast doubt on your abilities since you are not being an active JW.
Make her feel appreciated. If she likes flowers, buy some, if she needs a hand in the housework, pitch in, she likes baubbles, buy 'em......... or simply make a point to say thank you.......after giving her a long desirous gaze and deeply passionate kiss. Feeling supported/encouraged in all areas of her life is important..... again you are replacing the WTS as her go-to.
Be emotionally present, do not allow the WTS cause you to withdrawl! Too many times men fall into this snare and thus it leads to a further divide, so share your feelings enough to keep her beguiled and remembering that you aren't the WTS's representation of an evil selfish hateful opposer. Knowing your fears, passions, concerns and heart will make it harder for her to embrace the WTSs message of a person like you deserving to be birdfood and than that will be just another chip as you slowly chip away at her mental chains.
Finally know when to compromise and when to be firm. Do you lead the FWN? If not than you should because it is an excellent opportunity to openly discuss the nonsense of the WTS! Granted you don't wanna come on too strong here but it is essentially like conducting a study where the goal is to get her to discern for herself the stupidity of the WTS...... remember how you remained calm and deliberate in your questions leading a new study to discern the WTS stuff now you will do the same but to drawl attention to the fallacies. With this generation change coming up the opportunity is ripe! Use the bible reading portion to really discuss context and what she thinks and feels about the passages in context. If the WTS has stupidly applied this scripture in previous publications.......drawl attention saying you 'remember' such and such'....... than get the CD/book out and show the stupidity...... Conducting the FWN also gives you the opportunity to have good reason to acquire a fuller theocratic library of publications not on the CD for reference......granted yes you will be somewhat dangling the carrot of false hope but again it is fair in this fight for your family.
We like options...... sometimes we like to be led and others times we like to be enabled to think for ourselves.