How do you cope with a zealous JW wife? (page 3)

deep-blue-sea

I reacted almost in the same way when my husband/elder, discovered the many things about the WT. I felt so sad and irritated with him, but I realized I would have lost him if I would have not been willing to hear what he had discovered.

He explained to me, very patiently, that our love was the strongest and precious feeling between two persons, was the most important thing in our life, Jehovah god was the most important but at the second place, was our relationship he couldn't give up to an organization...and I didn't want to loose him, so I started to hear and read..... and here I am!

I think would be fantastic, if you could leave two, three weeks far from JW, meetings, preaching, in order to show to her how beatiful and precious is a couple, a family, free of obligations toward an organization, and far from mind control....

Be patient, let her think about the fact that we should love and respect those who are close to us, that we see...how can we respect an organization far from us, composed of men we do not see????

Be strong, be patient! You have all my comprehension!

Claudia

RR

How do you cope with a zealous JW wife?

Hmmm ... how about a hacksaw and some gladbags?

eyesthatsee

Many thanks for all your good advice- it does help to know that many have been or are going through this now.

There's no way I'll ever go back - when I eventually opened my eyes and saw the evil manipulation of this cult, I knew then that, whatever the consequences, freedom is the most important thing.

Will give an update soon.

ETS

undercover

Welcome, eyes...

BluesBrother said:

After a while the situation settles a bit and she accepts that you are the same person, i e not growing two heads or going to act in the WT stereotype of wicked "worldly" men. Then she just lives with you and accepts that she is married to "The Anti Christ"

That is pretty much dead on. Been there, done that. I have actually helped my wife to inactivity, though it's only physical. Still working on the mental part. That's harder.

Right now, it's tough for your wife because it's a big shakeup for her. You've gone from being a 20 year company man to nothing. That's right...nothing. Because as much as JWs like to pretend it's not, reputation as a person of note in the bOrg is very important. They equate 'the organization' as equal to 'Jehovah'...which is exactly what the bOrg wants.

Nothing will change overnight. Patience is the key. Words alone won't do it. Your actions that you love her and you want to be with her over time will slowly erode the hurt. At least it did in my case. Our marriage is pretty good except for the occasional times that religion/JWism comes up.

But you do need to be prepared for the worst case scenerio...that she never lets up. There are some here who can tell you that they had to move on. To remain in a relationship where there was no trust and hatred was replacing the love is no good for either party. There are some people who just will not accept that you've 'left Jehovah'. No matter how you explain it, prove it, or whatever, the other spouse sees you as Satan personified...and hates you for it.

Again, welcome and good luck. There are plenty here who can relate to where you're at and where you're going.

Keep us posted...

OUTLAW

Sell her for a Bag of Corn and a Goat..

................................... ...OUTLAW

Finally-Free

Sorry you're going through this. I hope you can keep your marriage together. I couldn't. Within a couple of weeks of my DAing, she started asking a lot of questions, such as whose name was on the deed of the house I inheirited from my father, questions about my life insurance policy, and what I would do with my inheiritence when my mother "finally kicks off". I also discovered she was making tentative living arrangements with a relative on the other side of the country, should she decide to leave me. I also learned that my razor sharp, foot long hunting knife was being kept near our bed within her reach. In 16 years we never had a violent disagreement, so that shook me up a bit. That's when I decided leaving was a necessity rather than an option.

I hope things work out better for you.

W