Random, bored musings

by sd-7 17 Replies latest jw friends

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  sd-7

  nugget--You sure you're not a therapist? Pretty insightful stuff there. I don't know if I need to tell her she's forgiven for throwing me to the wolves--I mean, she doesn't feel she did anything wrong, and I can't rightly blame her; she acted based on the knowledge she had available to her. Using the kid as a blanket? She's got all the blanket every night! I know, you didn't mean it that way. Well, if there's some way to smooth things over with her, hope I can find it. I'm not even 30 yet, but I feel old right now, and far too old, emotionally, to have to start from scratch in some other relationship.

  I do have a therapist, but wife spent up therapy money on groceries, so...couldn't go this week. Maybe 2 weeks from now.

  Sylvia--I used to be a history buff back in school. I do rather miss it. Civil War history in particular was my favorite, but I do think learning more about my heritage would be wise. Perhaps you're onto something.

  --sd-7
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  Brocephus

  Sd-7 I think 80% of your problems can be solved by telling your wife you are going to the store a pack of smokes and six pack and never coming back. But that's my f-cked up solution to a f-cked problem. My advice is dangerous.
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  RosePetal

  Hi Sd7 Sorry to hear that you are so down all the other comments are right. There is no easy solution it seems whatever relationship that you have had with your wife has been soured not by you or by your wife but by the teachings of the beast. You simply cannot live like this and you can't allow random events to take there course. I've no doubt that your wifes intentions were not meant to be vindictive, because she fears the beast. She must be going through a traumatic time herself knowing that her love for God must outweigh any decision you make regarding leaving the org. even though you must know it is mistaken loyalty and fear of the beast. I am sure that you have spoken to her of your continued love of God and continue doing so. But whatever decision you make will only get worse for yourself and your health if things continue as they are. You know the options for you ,why don't you try something very unusual something the org. would never suggest for someone in your situation and speak to your heavenly father and throw it on his shoulders. As much as they have convinced your wife there is no where else to go they do not have the monopoly on God and prayer.

  RosePetal and Mr. Bumble We are sending you a PM
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  snowbird

  Sylvia--I used to be a history buff back in school. I do rather miss it. Civil War history in particular was my favorite, but I do think learning more about my heritage would be wise. Perhaps you're onto something.

  --sd-7

  Now, you're talking.

  You have to find something to replace WT pablum.

  As much as they have convinced your wife there is no where else to go they do not have the monopoly on God and prayer.

  Amen, sister, amen!!!

  Took me a while to figure that out, but once I did, I never looked back.

  Sylvia
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  RosePetal

  Please let us know if you got our PM one got lost had to do it again.

  Thanks RosePetal
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  sd-7

  Yeah, I got your PM, RosePetal. Thank you.

  I feel bad about some of the stuff I've been talking about here. I just...I don't think I have good morals of my own sometimes. I don't know. But I'll be fine.
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  dinah

  sd. Waking up is hard, really hard. You miss the routine and the easiness. When you leave you have to make your own decisions when you are used to having them made for you.

  About not remembering things your wife says, I was on "auto-pilot" for about 2 years when I figured out it was all BS. It's like you can't see or hear what's going on around you. The fact that you were lied to consumes you. I felt robbed of my life for a long time (still do at times).

  We all have our bad days.

  The best advice a dear sister gave me: Breathe. I was on another message board and I would have a "come apart" and she would always say just breathe. It was good advice.
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  Married to the Mob

  Christopher

  There is nothing wrong with feeling a little down on days. We all do at times, and what you have been though is huge and that should be in capitals, big font, bold and underlined!

  Change is always slow and hard, whilst you said the borg only took maybe 6-10 hours a month of your life it really took more. Not just those hours but the others that you haven't thought about it, the hours you spent on here researching the truth or reading the books! Remember this so called religion gets into every part of your life, from how you dress, what you think, what you eat, everything!

  Going from being fully submersed in it to nothing is like a comming off drugs. Hard and painful! I didn't choose religion as my drug, mine were hard liquor, porn and sex!

  Anyway in comming off it, I have found my need to build stuff. Chairs, tables, storage for the garden. I got involved with the local greyhound group and photography. I am using the energy that once when into getting high to do something constructive.

  I also blow the anger away on at the gym or exercise. Walking the dogs makes them happy but also I allows me to chill out. Doesn't mean get a dog, just do the exercise bit.

  The other area to put the energy into is your relationship with wife and child. Go to the park, have a coffee do something fun all together (no religion). Free art galleries, musuems so and so forth.

  The feeling tired is from the emotional turmoil, but you know that. Even if it is 10 minutes, get some exercise, fresh air and relax.

  While your doing it, reflect on what you do have. Remember your alive, you have freedom, you have a roof and food. Could be worse.

  I have no idea if these words help in some way. I hope they do. Unlike many here I haven't been exactly where you are but I know what its like when you give up something that has dominated your life.

  Anyway, rambled on for long enough.

  Take care

  MTTM