by fleshyheadedmutant 20 Replies latest watchtower scandals
Terry articulated it better than I ever could.
I'm not DF'd, just a fader. But I remember when my brother got df'd, and the rest of my uber-zealous family shunning him. I remember his own wife asking me to do the same so that it would motivate him to come back to the org. sooner. I remember having to lie to the rest of my family about whether or not I was still in contact with him. God's loving organization at work.
What Terry said.
I think it would do you a lot of good to share your experiences with a mixed group.
Their response will strengthen you and aid you to recover from the terrible pain you have been through with your daughter.
They will be shocked that this is happening in 2010 in their communities.
Most people when they first hear about it are absolutely repulsed by the dfing and shunning "arrangement" and feel it is very unlike the Jesus Christ they have come to know and love and imitate.
Of course we understand that the witnesses feel the end is coming any minute so time is of the essence to recover "sinners" any which way they can.
But their "one size fits all" approach to discipline and recovery does not work.
Love is what draws us to God. And love is what draws us back to God.
Dfing is for THEM! Dfing keeps their flock ignorant so the brainwashing can continue. Dfing is cruel torture meant to hurt and punish
the so called sinner. (Read all about the Inquisitions)
Who are these people who set themselves up as judges? People all over the world go through bouts of lack of faith and recover all on their own!
But these interfering fools use their positions to crush the depressed, the doubters, the strayers, the spiritually sick.
With one blow they cast out the sick sheep and banish them to the outside.
Being a witness felt more like working for a business than being in a wonderful Christian religion.
"Your Fired!" .........big deal
I am about to be officially disfellowshipped this Wednesday. It has wrought such havoc on my marriage that my wife only remains with me because she read about remaining committed to one's mate in this week's Watchtower. She has made clear that her love for me had everything to do with my acceptance of all of the Watchtower's teachings, not with who I am as a person. As I cannot do this, she has all but divorced me in her heart, from what I can see, even stating clearly that she would feel very uncomfortable having sex with me. Because of what I believe, which is based on fact, on statements the Watchtower itself has made. She believes that I betrayed her and that I have no love for God at all because I am concerned about the things being taught in this religion. Jehovah's Witnesses may not directly break up families, but by how they teach their members to view those who do not share their beliefs, they create rifts that are just as deep and just as painful and really are the same thing.
Here are some revealing quotes that you can use, about how those who disagree with the Watchtower Society are viewed, straight from the Watchtower and Awake:
*** g006/22p.9DoNotBeaVictimofPropaganda!***
Good educators present all sides of an issue and encourage discussion. Propagandists relentlessly force you to hear their view and discourage discussion. Often their real motives are not apparent. They sift the facts, exploiting the useful ones and concealing the others. They also distort and twist facts, specializing in lies and half-truths. Your emotions, not your logical thinking abilities, are their target.
The propagandist makes sure that his message appears to be the right and moral one and that it gives you a sense of importance and belonging if you follow it . You are one of the smart ones, you are not alone, you are comfortable and secure—so they say.
*** w863/15pp.13-14par.13‘DoNotBeQuicklyShakenFromYourReason’***
We need not conclude that we have to read a book or a pamphlet that is filled with slander and half-truths in order to refute the false claims and teachings of opposers.
*** g006/22p.6TheManipulationofInformation***
Name-Calling
Some people insult those who disagree with them by questioning character or motives instead of focusing on the facts. Name-calling slaps a negative, easy-to-remember label onto a person, a group, or an idea. The name-caller hopes that the label will stick. If people reject the person or the idea on the basis of the negative label instead of weighing the evidence for themselves, the name-caller’s strategy has worked.
*** w863/15p.18par.9AllowNoPlacefortheDevil!***
What is often the motive of those who criticize the Society or those taking the lead? Is it not often that some application of Scripture affects them personally?
*** w094/15p.6par.15JobHeldHightheNameofJehovah***
Modern-day apostates display characteristics similar to those of the Devil . Their mind may be poisoned by a critical attitude toward individuals in the congregations, Christian elders, or the Governing Body. Some apostates oppose the use of the divine name, Jehovah. They are not interested in learning about Jehovah or in serving him. Like their father, Satan, apostates target people of integrity. (John 8:44) No wonder servants of Jehovah avoid all contact with them!—2 John 10, 11.
Even though I have never been Dfed nor have I ever DAed myself and was/am in "good standing", the building of a life of 10 years was lost forever when my JW wife, her JW family, extended JW family and JW friends all decided one day to turn on me, all of whom, after more than 20 years, still shun me and demonize me. Along with losing a marriage, a wife that I loved and my house, the continuous slander became so great that it resulted in my self esteem becoming so low I contemplated suicide. It was only after seeking professional therapy and learning about this site that was I able to recover and have happiness in my life.
HQ
Being born in, it has been and always will be this 'sore' spot in my heart. My family and so-called friends continue to shun me (on a personal level) like I have some type of disease and need to be quarantined or something. To explain the shunning process to anyone outside the org, they inevitably find it ridiculous and just shake their heads in disagreement...yet to a JW, shunning IS the best way to convince a sinner that they NEED the 'protection' of the group. The day I was DF'd, it felt like the rug was ripped out from under me: after being assaulted and abused by my ex-JW fiance, I was NOW losing my 'friends' and also eventually my own family! Not that it hurts as much as it did over a year ago when this all happened, but seeing shunning for what it is - manipulation - makes it all MUCH clearer for me. The fact that the 'love' JWs preach to everyone can be shut off like a light switch after 1 single announcement (Babygirl30 is no longer a Jehovah's Witness) is abominable!
Thankfully I have really done my research, learned more about JWs then I ever thought I would (especially since I was raised one), and finding REAL friends outside the org has completely changed my life and my thinking process. I'm now GRATEFUL for being DF'd and having the need to find out why I was treated in such a way and forced to be shunned...but on the flip side, will always carry that little sore spot because NONE of the shunning makes sense.
Thanks to all for your comments.
In my case, my husband and I were witnesses for over thirty years. We found ourselves with no friends when we had thought hundreds were. It is not easy to start over.
For those who are shunned by family, I know the pain must be severe. Please know that you are valued on this forum.
@ Fleshyheadedmutant. Sometimes I leave the room, sometimes I just leave . . . period. But you can bet your sweet ass it's been long time since I fixed 'em king crab legs or filet mignon. :-)
Finally! My daughter helped me to log in as Quandry........My little monkey is back and happier than ever....thanks again to all who are giving your thoughts on shunning and the effects to your life.......
Terry said:
Instead of a refuge for sinners like a hospital for the hurting and wounded, the Kingdom Hall is a courtroom of accusers and prosecuting attorneys.
I just thought this needed repeating. Thank you.
~~~
Oh! And edited to say, hi, Quandry! I'm happy to see your little champagne totin' monkey back.
