As You've Gotten Older Have You Changed Your Thoughts On Marriage? (page 2)

Found Sheep

YES!!! my entire view of sex and marriage has changed!!! I married young as a jw and divorced after way way too many bad years!!! Still had JW mentality so i got married after not much dating to a wonderful worldly man but didn't want to "sin" so we got married? Turns out they want to DF me for getting married although I was free!!! if i could do it over i would have just enjoyed the dating time and let them df me!!! What right do they have in ANYONES bedroom anyway?

nugget

I thought I was happily married but cantleave's thoughts on marriage have changed???? must question him further. Be back when I've changed the bulb to a higher wattage.

poopsiecakes

uh oh...smackdown coming up!

minimus

dandingus

But the whole JW mindset basically sets you up to fail at marriage. First you can't date normally so by the time you're 18 to 20 you're not thinking lifetime of marriage or children or retirement or sickness...you just wanna get laid.

I gave up counting years ago how many times I've seen marraiges that I knew only happened for that reason.

Personally, I was raised in the organization and I would say that it has affected my thoughts on marraige. I'm almost 30 and I've never been married. I'm in a relationship presently, and have had a couple during my 20s but I've never thought that I was ready to get married.

I had a girlfriend years ago who is still a Witness even though I'm not. She's really the only one I ever considered marrying. But at the time we were going out there was so much PRESSURE on us to get married from everyone we knew, that they wouldn't let us just be us. I felt like I was dating her parents, her elders, my elders and about half our circuit. We dated for over a year which was all but unheard of in our area. Everyone else just rushed right into it, but I was trying so hard to take my time and get it right for both of us. I honestly had elders making ultimatums to me that I had to announce an engagement or break up with her within a certain time frame or they would delete me as a Ministerial Servant. I kid you not. It sucked so bad.

So yeah, I never got married, but when I do make that choice, I do want it to be permanent.

Once again, great question Min!!

minimus

Thanks Dan!

It's true that if you "date", you must be thinking of marrying the person. Talk about pressure!!!!

grewupjw1969

I seriously believe that being raised a JW can affect your decisions about marriage, in a negative way.

My marriage was affected evnen though I didn't marry a JW. I saw what I thought was a happy marriage between my parents but in actuallity(?) it wasn't. My mother was very unhappy. I saw her put up with certain things and thouht that this was what a wife was supposed to do. Not until I was married for sometime did I finally realize that a husband should love his wife the Jesus loved the church. It took alot for me to leave because of the no divorce thing among JW's, but I did and couldn't be happier now.

Grewup

dandingus

Well I had every intention of marrying her! But we were both only barely 20 for crying out loud, and it rubbed me the wrong way so badly at the way we were treated.

You want to know what the most ironic part was? We were the one, absolute model couple in the entire circuit. We were both pioneers and I was a MS, some-time bethelite, gave public talks, etc. We followed ALL the rules. To the point that other young people wouldn't even hang out with us because we were too straight laced. Other couples in our area were doing all *sorts* of things that the religion frowns upon, yet she and I were the ones who always got the most ridiculous council. We got yelled at for holding hands during a prayer too, years before it ever came out in the literature that the witnesses weren't supposed to do that. Which is the most asinine thing I've ever heard, but I digress. Guess my elders knew it was coming? But they said it wasn't because it was wrong to hold hands, just wrong if you're not married. Sorry, man. Still bothers me.

Mickey mouse

I wondered when Nugget would stumble across this thread.

Popcorn 2

undercover

Well I had every intention of marrying her! But we were both only barely 20 for crying out loud, and it rubbed me the wrong way so badly

That's reason enough right there...

As You've Gotten Older Have You Changed Your Thoughts On Marriage?

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