It's official--I'm out.

by sd-7 88 Replies latest jw friends

  • sd-7
    sd-7
    I'll be going against the opinion flow here, so I've already put on my bullet-proof vest.
    I feel terribly sorry for Christopher's wife, and her child. I would like to hear her side of the story, and not only the side of the man who, a few months after his marriage, is bemoaning his wedding ring in a pub/bar situation. At this stage it seems that this is all about Christopher.
    I'm not sensing any attempt to take your wife's hand, Christopher, and say "Let's talk about this forever that we promised each other... in court.... very recently....."
    You don't care about her child. You call it "the child" and in fact until recently called it "the baby" even though her child is much older than a baby.
    With a caring partner, Christopher's wife could well be led out of the cult. But it seems she has been landed with a self-absorbed immature cad (that she married because they had sex over a two-month period and both she and he wanted to avoid DF'ing).
    Jamiebowers, when the afterglow of your bar meet-up with Christopher wears off, perhaps you should meet up with his wife and step-child and get a 360 degree perspective.

    Now that someone who does not have the complete picture has put their two cents in, how about we hear from the person who is actually LIVING the situation, hmm? Here's the deal. I am not and never have 'bemoaned my wedding ring'. My concerns about this marriage have EVERYTHING to do with the fact that we are dealing with people who are deceiving us for the sake of maintaining their power over the minds of innocent people. The heart of our problems has been my grave concerns about the Society's manipulations and false teachings. I very much love my wife and have repeatedly acknowledged--though maybe not to you personally, or necessarily in the context of this message board--that she is very good to me. Secondly, I have been to a bar...what, maybe three times in my entire life, and most of those times were when I was not married or even dating? So get your facts straight. I went to a bar ONCE recently, for like, 30 minutes after work, where by coincidence someone--NOT Jamie Bowers, who lives like, several hundred miles away from me--who was on this site happened to be, with a male friend of hers. And by the way, she is very happily married herself, even though that's not even really your business. There was nothing romantic or sexual or anything of the kind involved in that. I didn't even have a drink, I just met her and her friend and we chatted for a little while, then they went to the movies and I went home to my wife and daughter. As I always do. I go out every day to work to keep a roof over my family's head, and I struggle to make ends meet on one income. When I get home, I try my best to help out my wife and look after our daughter. Daughter, child, and baby, at least in my understanding of the English language, are synonyms of a sort and do not denote any particular perspective on how I feel about her. Were you there when I found out she was going to born, like a week before it happened? When I promised myself that if the father didn't want to take care of her, I would? Her father wanted her to die, did not want to SEE her after she was born. So if you think I don't care about my daughter, maybe you should see if you can find her real father and talk to him about selfishness. You are not in my marriage, so you do not know what conversations I have or have not had with my wife about the things we are going through. I choose not to discuss every detail here because it's not the place for every detail. I have probably said too much about our marriage as it is. But we have most certainly talked about some difficult things and been through a lot together. So you would be speaking about a relationship that you are grossly uninformed about. You're not "sensing" any attempt on my part to talk to my wife because you are not a freaking Jedi Knight. Wherever you are, you cannot "sense" what's going on in my marriage, in my home. Her child is not even 2 years old yet. I think that constitutes "baby" in my book. For whether or not I care about the child, I just finished discussing that issue. Do not insult me by trying to tell me how I feel about my family. This "self-absorbed immature cad" does the best he can every day for his family. This "self-absorbed immature cad" is a particularly strange one, given that he married her in the first place. Self-absorbed, immature cads don't bother marrying the woman they love. Much less waiting 5 long years to do so, as I did, in the midst of dealing with people who thought she wasn't worth marrying, my family included. I don't see any 'afterglow' around here. You have an active, almost Watchtower-reminiscent imagination about people. Get your facts straight before you speak about a situation, please. There was nothing and is nothing questionable going on, period. I don't claim to be a perfect husband. I've got to learn to communicate more with my wife and be more attentive to her. Is there something about the emotional impact of finding out you've been in a cult your entire life that is lost on you? It's hard to function with something that huge weighing on your soul. I've done the best I could with that reality, and my wife acknowledges that I've taken good care of her. Maybe YOU should meet-up with her and her daughter so that YOU can get a full perspective on the matter. I respect your apparent concern for her and our daughter. But you cannot speak on this matter because you simply don't know all that is going on. Thank you. --sd-7

  • Michelle365
    Michelle365

    I love this quote:

    "So I grow sick of the need to say, "I'm disfellowshipped." I'm not disfellowshipped. I'm Christopher. So don't ever call me anything except my name. I am not a status in a religious group that forms 1/1000th of the population of one planet in one solar system in one galaxy amongst billions. I am a person. That's all I ever was, and all I ever will be."

    I agree with you wholeheartedly and personally never refer to myself that way and I continue to speak with any JWs I see out publicly. I am civil and polite with them as I would be with any other human. I applaud you for being able to come to this place and make plans to more forward with your life. I know it's hard and it will suck at times but I believe you will be a better man for it.

    I hope you are able to find some peace with your wife. Whether you stay married or not, I hope that it is a decision you are content with.

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    I wanted to add my thanks to so many who have displayed such support here. I was a bit upset by the misrepresentation by quillsky, was it? But this individual is clearly misinformed.

    As far as I'm concerned, I have every desire to remain with my wife. I love her, I hope she will continue to love me, and I'll always feel like I can do more for her no matter what I do. This is not something that is going to destroy our marriage--that's my belief and my hope. It will simply change it, and all marriages deal with hard changes sometimes. She thought I hated her for turning me in to the elders, and I probably didn't help her believe otherwise, I admit. I never said those words to her, EVER. I was hurt by what I felt was a betrayal, and expressed as much to her. But I never hated her for doing what she thought was right, what any loyal Witness would have done under the circumstances.

    No, it's never going to be perfect and joyful for us, but we can make it work. It has only been 4 months, and given our different backgrounds and our current situation, it's been a steep learning curve for me. And it's been hard on her--yes, shockingly, I am aware of that. But we are going to make the best of what we've got.

    It is disappointing to hear my character as a husband and father being attacked here. I have obviously said some things here that did not reflect well on my character, and I admit that. I'm not the greatest husband or dad in the world. I admit that, too. But I'm doing the best I can. I'm not out looking for wife #2. I go to work, I come home, I get groceries or clothes or diapers or etc. for the family, and I try to do what housework I can before the exhaustion takes over. Same as any man who wants to keep his wife would do.

    Am I now to be subjected to a second judicial committee, this time on charges of being a negligent husband? I wonder.

    Well, I won't let outsiders make that call. I'll let my wife and daughter be the judge of my worth as a husband and father. If they're okay with me, I'm okay.

    Again, thanks for your support, folks. Zoiks--love the 'crack open a root beer' remark. Perhaps I shall do that. Sylvia--I figured that as a soul sistah, you would understand. As an up-and-coming rap artist once said, "I stay shady--there's many punks that hate me. But it seems lately they're too scared to face me." Actually, that's something I wrote. Not that it's special, I was just reminded of it.

    Well, (sigh) take care.

    --sd-7

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    I was a bit upset by the misrepresentation by quillsky, was it? But this individual is clearly misinformed.

    He/She/It is not worth the drama.

    Josie

  • sd-7
    sd-7
    Do you mainly post on boards where people send kitten pictures to each other?

    And one more thing: don't bring the cat into this. Also, intellect had nothing to do with what just went down here. The integrity of a good friend of mine was just called into question. I take that personally. I would like to hear you apologize, quillsky, for maligning Jamie on this board. I'm sure there are many people who can testify to her character and would not appreciate this kind of talk. If you choose not to, I understand. But you said it on this forum, so please step up and acknowledge your error on this forum, too.

    --sd-7

  • snowbird
    snowbird
    Sylvia--I figured that as a soul sistah, you would understand. As an up-and-coming rap artist once said, "I stay shady--there's many punks that hate me. But it seems lately they're too scared to face me." Actually, that's something I wrote. Not that it's special, I was just reminded of it.

    Just do as our ancestors did, "Mutter at an unfriendly sky, and resolve to give it one more try"!

    Peace and love to you and yours.

    Sylvia

  • nugget
    nugget

    Christopher, you have been true to yourself and that takes great courage. It is early days for you and for your wife so feelings and attitudes are easily coloured by recent events. Don't read too much into how she looks at you remember she has been through a humiliating experience and is emotionally fragile at the moment she hasn't behaved well and she probably realises it deep down. By being loving and considerate by showing care and concern for her you can get through this. At the moment she is taking false support from the congregation but you are her husband and you have as much right to be supportive and considerate of her feelings as anyone else.

    How they behave to you in the hall is up to them how you behave in your own home is up to you. Taking control of your life can be a tricky business so take help where ever you need it.

    Good luck in all your future efforts.

  • yknot
    yknot

    Christopher....

    Your wife married you and probably not just because of 'good standing'.

    She is scared, thats all.

    Right now things are beyond her comfort zone and she is clinging to what is familiar most (WTS) but if you are diligent and remain emotionally present, available and dare say demanding (in her giving and receiving attentions to/from you). Things will work out.

    Woo and soothe her.......

    If she has questions remain calm, repeat constantly that you are not interested in swaying her for your own sake (half-truth there since part of you does desire her to 'wake up' for herself). Remind her of her actions that quickened this circumstances and maybe re-start the FWN where the Bible is given a 60/40 over WTS litertrash....... draw her attentions slowly to the facts and timeline of events. Take what the WTS offers and 'make it your own'..... like introducing her to 'Millions' before the March WT is studied and let her discern for herself the book compared to the article by asking her opinion.....(women love to give advice and opinons so use this to your advantage but make sure not to 'argue' women don't need to argue or 'defend' things rather we prefer to be convinced or to meet in the middle)

    Just keep things like communication and intimacy flowing.

    Look beyond the knee-jerk I feel/think responses and when an opportunity strikes demand facts over emotion gently

    You can do this because you still love her.....

  • palmtree67
    palmtree67

    Christopher,

    When I first got here, I had just been disfellowshipped form a congregation I didn't ( still don't ) even know the name of. People I didn't know and who didn't know me, had judged me as being unworthy.

    Wow! Was that almost a year ago? It was. I can't believe how far I've come, especially thanks to this board. (And to Jamie....)

    It will be the same for you. It will get better. It will get easier. You will be happy. I promise.

    Take care,

    palm

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    Excellent points, yknot. I shall have to keep them in mind.

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